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To be pissed off about my goat curry?

(90 Posts)
Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 11:04:25

In laws are visiting. We live abroad.

On Thursday and Friday, I made several trips to various shops to buy ingredients for a Thai massaman mutton (goat) curry, which is one of DH’s favourite dishes and something I know his parents eat (they’re Asian). Spent a long time pounding spices, doing curry paste, trimming and marinating the meat last night. Everyone knew I was making goat curry for dinner tonight. It’s a slow dish and takes hours to cook.

Today I spent the whole day driving DD to a birthday party and back. Came home at 4pm and immediately started cooking.

While I was ferrying DD around, DH, in laws and DS had lunch and pigged out at an all you can eat buffet.

At 6pm, everyone announced they had eaten too much at lunch and they don’t want any dinner.

AIBU to think this is quite rude considering they all knew what the plan was for tonight? I’m still cooking it, we can have it reheated tomorrow night, but it won’t be as nice reheated.

Disclaimer: I know this isn’t the biggest problem in the world. I’m just curious to know if others also think it’s inconsiderate, or am I being too sensitive (AF and easily irritated).

AnnaMagnani Sun 24-Mar-19 11:43:30

It was incredibly rude -- but it will actually taste better heated up--

RevealTheLegend Sun 24-Mar-19 11:44:04

I think I would take that as permission to never bother shopping or cooking for them again.

Just stare blankly at H and ask him what he has planned. Every time.

BertrandRussell Sun 24-Mar-19 11:45:43

Thoughtless at best- very ill mannered at worst.

But it will be nicer today and you have a cooking free day.

Incidentally, your dp can cook. Anyone capable of holding down a job and reading can cook. He just doesn’t want to. Get that fixed pronto, before your children start thinking it’s normal!

AnnaMagnani Sun 24-Mar-19 11:46:22

It's at times like this I always think 'What would my mother do?'

Because in this case the answer would be throw curry at husband's head.

killpop Sun 24-Mar-19 11:46:34

Is the goat really relevant here? Are you (or they?) goat-est?

woollyheart Sun 24-Mar-19 11:47:24

Forget about the curry!

Maybe what you need to concentrate is convincing DH that is is more manly and acceptable to offer a gracious apology in these circumstances.

With no apology, they have been inconsiderate bur have made the situation far worse by not apologising.

Make it your goal to teach him this. And next time this happens, he can teach them how it is done, and you can reward him with a lovely smile instead of a scowl!

Whoops75 Sun 24-Mar-19 11:47:30

This is definitely rude, I would blame dh.
He saw your efforts and still suggested/ agreed to the buffet.
Next time they visit I wouldn’t cook.

DilliDingDillyDong Sun 24-Mar-19 11:51:20

My sympathy lies purely with the poor goat.

Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 11:51:51

@killpop Is the goat really relevant here?

Only to the extent it’s hard to source goat meat, it’s expensive and a ‘special occasion’ kind of dish.

DilliDingDillyDong Sun 24-Mar-19 11:52:23

...but yes, they were damn rude.

justforthisnow Sun 24-Mar-19 11:54:56

They were very rude.
Totally missing the point, but is it ever called goat curry? Did I dream I saw that on tv?

justforthisnow Sun 24-Mar-19 11:55:19

Ah sorry, ignore
It is!

C8H10N4O2 Sun 24-Mar-19 12:01:24

I*ncidentally, your dp can cook. Anyone capable of holding down a job and reading can cook. He just doesn’t want to. Get that fixed pronto, before your children start thinking it’s normal!*


Get DS cooking and sharing tasks around the house before he picks up the same ways. Otherwise in years to come you could be reading a future partner write about their DH who makes water stick to the pan grin

C8H10N4O2 Sun 24-Mar-19 12:02:18

with apologies for broken bolding.

JenniferJareau Sun 24-Mar-19 12:04:09

I agree, it sounds like your DH is very much like his parents.

Unfortunately some people can't help themselves when they see an all you can eat buffet. All self control goes out the window and they pig out until fully stuffed!

Curry does taste much better the next day though.

Oysterbabe Sun 24-Mar-19 12:05:28

Utter bastards, they don't deserve the curry. You'd best send it to me.

HopefullyAnonymous Sun 24-Mar-19 12:07:12

YABU to ruin any kind of curry with goat 🤢

Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 12:09:02

DS loves cooking, so that’s not an issue.

And I agree DH could cook, he just doesn’t enjoy it, doesn’t feel confident in the kitchen so it takes him ages. I enjoy it, I don’t resent it normally, but I resent cooking if no one wants to eat.

diddl Sun 24-Mar-19 12:13:45

What have you & your daughter eaten today?

Will you still be having the curry?

It's not a waste in that it will be eaten at some point, but it's so thoughtless of them.

Whose idea was it to pig out at lunch knowing that a cooked meal had been prepared for later?

Skittlesandbeer Sun 24-Mar-19 12:19:09

Say nothing. Freeze the whole thing, and let them all fend for themselves tomorrow ‘since they’re all so full’. A bit of cheese on toast will do them no harm at all.

And feel free to spend most of the day elsewhere, eating whatever suits you. Not in a sulky strop, just cos you ‘forgot you had plans’. It happens, right?

Mmmmbrekkie Sun 24-Mar-19 12:19:59

It’s a odd one

They didn’t ask for goat curry
You decided to do it. Nice of you, but it was your decision.

They were hungry and fancied all you can eat. So they did it. It didn’t fit in with your plan but it fitted it in with them.

LizzieMacQueen Sun 24-Mar-19 12:21:29

Their mistake (which they should apologise for IMO) was choosing a restaurant with an 'all you can eat' option. It is very difficult NOT to pig out at one of those.

Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 12:23:00

The curry will be eaten tomorrow. I just need to find a way to store it in my tiny fridge.

I’m happy to have humus and crackers for dinner tonight.

DD and DS had tuna pasta bake for dinner - I’m not sure they’ll like the curry so had made PB as a back up for them.

DH has now, unprompted, said sorry!

AnnaMagnani Sun 24-Mar-19 12:23:43

They didn't ask for the goat curry.

However the DH was presumably aware for 3 days that goat curry was on the cards and had plenty of opportunity to say 'no thanks, does fit with plans, it's too much hassle for you'

When he was out and hungry he also had the opportunity to remind everyone 'don't eat too much, Manikoutai has spent 3 days preparing our fave meal this evening'.

Instead he took everyone to an all you can eat buffet.

Italiangreyhound Sun 24-Mar-19 12:31:52

Very rude of them. But the curry may improve overnight.

Next time they come, your dh does the cooing, I suggest, and/or ferries people about!

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