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To be pissed off about my goat curry?

(90 Posts)
Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 11:04:25

In laws are visiting. We live abroad.

On Thursday and Friday, I made several trips to various shops to buy ingredients for a Thai massaman mutton (goat) curry, which is one of DH’s favourite dishes and something I know his parents eat (they’re Asian). Spent a long time pounding spices, doing curry paste, trimming and marinating the meat last night. Everyone knew I was making goat curry for dinner tonight. It’s a slow dish and takes hours to cook.

Today I spent the whole day driving DD to a birthday party and back. Came home at 4pm and immediately started cooking.

While I was ferrying DD around, DH, in laws and DS had lunch and pigged out at an all you can eat buffet.

At 6pm, everyone announced they had eaten too much at lunch and they don’t want any dinner.

AIBU to think this is quite rude considering they all knew what the plan was for tonight? I’m still cooking it, we can have it reheated tomorrow night, but it won’t be as nice reheated.

Disclaimer: I know this isn’t the biggest problem in the world. I’m just curious to know if others also think it’s inconsiderate, or am I being too sensitive (AF and easily irritated).

endofthelinefinally Sun 24-Mar-19 11:07:49

They are inconsiderate, but IME, curry tastes better the next day.
You won't have to cook tomorrow so tell them you are so tired from all your hard work that they can do all the child care/ferrying/reheating curry.

Durrt Sun 24-Mar-19 11:08:27

Did they know your plans with the goat curry? (Pressumably yes?)

YANBU. Shockingly rude!

I'd be livid after all that effort.

HavelockVetinari Sun 24-Mar-19 11:09:53

YANBU, they are dreadfully rude (DH included) angry

comedycentral Sun 24-Mar-19 11:11:26

So rude. That's the last meal you cook them during this visit. DH can do the rest. You are not there to serve them.

EmeraldShamrock Sun 24-Mar-19 11:12:07

Yanbu to be annoyed, You can relax today, tell DH to dish out the food.

FuckertyBoo Sun 24-Mar-19 11:12:31

That is rude of them.

But curry does taste better the next day ime too smile. As long as it isn’t going to waste.

AwdBovril Sun 24-Mar-19 11:12:42

YANBU. They were very inconsiderate. You will obviously be tired today after spending so long cooking & cannot possibly run around after the DCs all day, how lucky they're around to help.

ABoozedMoose Sun 24-Mar-19 11:16:36

Rude and inconsiderate yes, but I agree that it'll taste even better the next day. Sounds gorgeous - send me some!

woollyheart Sun 24-Mar-19 11:18:15

YABU to say that curry won't be as good re-heated. In my experience, it is always much better.

They were not very considerate. But they may not have realised how full they would be after lunch!

They will enjoy the curry more tomorrow. Forgive them and enjoy yourself.

Manikoutai Sun 24-Mar-19 11:21:37

Thank you 💐. I think DH feels bad, but he is pathologically unable to admit being in the wrong. Luckily he has some good qualities. Cooking, sadly, isn’t one of them. He’d make water stick to a pan.

In laws have offered no apologies. Hmm, maybe that’s where DH got his ways from?

BinaryStar Sun 24-Mar-19 11:24:52

That was rude of them

EntirelyAnonymised Sun 24-Mar-19 11:26:21

Mutton is an older sheep, not a goat, no?

Ninkaninus Sun 24-Mar-19 11:27:11

What on Earth do you mean, it won’t be as nice reheated? Everyone knows curry is much improved by sitting for at least a day after you’ve cooked it!

But yes, your DH in particular was rude and inconsiderate.

I’d make sure not to make any big effort for him or them again when they visit. I can’t stand it when people take hard work and effort like that for granted.

EntirelyAnonymised Sun 24-Mar-19 11:27:49

But yes, your IL’s were rude to eat such a large late lunch knowing that there were plans for dinner and effort had been made for it.

JaneEyre07 Sun 24-Mar-19 11:30:21

Curry does taste far better the next day but they were all incredibly rude.

I wouldn't make the effort again.

ReggieWoo Sun 24-Mar-19 11:30:35

Rude. But it'll be better today.

Obviously they don't get any though.

MonstranceClock Sun 24-Mar-19 11:30:39

Im one of those horrible people that would do what the PiL did sorry! I can see form your point of view though why its annoying.

Eliza9917 Sun 24-Mar-19 11:31:52

I’m still cooking it, we can have it reheated tomorrow night, but it won’t be as nice reheated

Curries, stews, soups etc always better the next day.

I sometimes make stuff like that the day before we want to eat it because it tastes better that way.

EntirelyAnonymised Sun 24-Mar-19 11:32:09

Sorry, ignore my question re sheep vs goat. I’ve just googled and learned that ‘mutton’ is used to describe goat meat in SE Asia. Every day’s a school day! smile

Ninkaninus Sun 24-Mar-19 11:32:22

I seriously would be pissed off with my OH if he ever did this to me. And I’m serious, I wouldn’t go to any effort on meals for the rest of their visit. He can sort things out.

FizzyGreenWater Sun 24-Mar-19 11:34:47

I think DH feels bad, but he is pathologically unable to admit being in the wrong.

Oh you need to stamp on that. If he's got a nonsense macho attitude then it's sometimes quite simple.

'I can see you feel bad about this - just to say I would find it so much easier to respect you if you were able to say that. Being unable to admit you are wrong is not attractive - you come over as very insecure and unsure of yourself. It's a little pathetic.'

PregnantSea Sun 24-Mar-19 11:35:42

YANBU. Very rude of them.

lisasimpsonssaxophone Sun 24-Mar-19 11:37:13

Ooooh a boyfriend of mine did this many years ago and I was livid! We had a romantic evening planned at my flat while all my flat mates were away, and I’d spent all afternoon lovingly preparing a complicated home-made dinner. He turned up having spent the afternoon in the pub where he’d ‘got a bit peckish’ and eaten a burger and chips, leaving him too full to eat anything when he got to mine sad

I got over it after a while and we just enjoyed the food for lunch the next day but I can still remember how disappointed I was!

Agree that you shouldn’t lift a finger today and make him serve the reheated curry for you!

Arowana Sun 24-Mar-19 11:41:00

YANBU at all. The food will be just as tasty tomorrow, but it's the principle of the thing - you planned a nice meal and worked hard on it and it has been spoilt. They were inconsiderate.

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