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To dump this friend

(8 Posts)
mintich Sat 23-Mar-19 21:42:47

I was very close to my work friend until she left work a year and a half ago. I text her first most of the time and it takes her ages to reply. I often meet up with another friend who I've kept in touch with and we always invite her but she never comes. But then straight after she will apologise for not coming and ask for another date to be arranged. I know she doesnt have many friends. If we don't text her, she will then creep out of the woodwork again asking to meet.
I get married soon and invited her as our other friend is also coming. She hasn't even acknowledged the invite or RSVP'd. I text her to check she'd got it and she read it but didn't reply.
How rude is that? Should I say something or just give up on her completely?

Ohtherewearethen Sat 23-Mar-19 21:56:44

I would just let it fizzle out. Friendships should be natural and easy, not hard work. It's boring being the one to make the effort all the time. If it's meant to be it will last.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 23-Mar-19 22:02:35

Just let it drift, sounds hard work.

BigFatGiant Sat 23-Mar-19 22:04:58

I have a friend like this. She has very bad depression. It’s doffocult to be the one who makes all the effort until you understand why that is.

Actionhasmagic Sat 23-Mar-19 22:15:55

I got married recently and surprised how many people didn’t rsvp but were attending! Are you getting anything out of this friendship at all any more or was it just a work type friendship?

Thisisthelaststraw Sat 23-Mar-19 22:23:10

Is she okay? When you catch up do you ask her how things are with her?

I have a friend who is lovely but always talks about her own life and never asks about mine. When I was at my lowest and told her she felt I needed distraction and we were back to all about her. I don’t hold a grudge. She has lovely children and she’s a really sweet, kind person but just shit with helping a depressed, anxious person. I pulled back because “cuddles with kids” and “the new puppies are adorable” was not what I needed.

Just throwing it out there as a possibility. If there’s not something wrong then it sounds like something you need to let die out.

LordNibbler Sat 23-Mar-19 22:25:31

Friendship is a two way street. And good friendships are equal. You seem to be doing all the inviting, she asks to meet but doesn't follow through. I think it's best if you just let this drift, or you'll start feeling resentful.

mintich Sun 24-Mar-19 10:26:41

I have wondered if she has some sort of social anxiety as a couple of my friends do. But with them it was quite obvious, but she could be keeping it hidden.
The reason I didn't think she had it is because my friends that do still keep in contact well over text. She only gets in contact when we leave it for a couple of months. Then we will text her back and wait weeks for a reply. Maybe depression?

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