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Too mean and passive-aggressive?

(42 Posts)
6amDanceParty Sat 23-Mar-19 03:40:07

34 weeks pregnant with kidney stones and SPD; I'm in a lot of pain. Husband knows this. Decides to go out with (our) friends for the evening, leaving me to look after our toddler by myself.

Anyway, several hours after asking me how I am and then not bothering to reply to me telling him how awful I was feeling, he comes back at about 2am. So drunk he can't figure out how to open his own fucking front door. Has loud phone calls on speaker phone until I tell him to shut up. He's woken the toddler but was too drunk to either notice or do anything about it. He's also covered the downstairs wc in vomit and is now snoring hugging the upstairs toilet (also covered in vomit). I need to pee every 90 minutes through the night at the moment and am not best pleased at now being forced to go up and down the stairs all night to use the cold, vommy downstairs loo. I'm hangry because I've not eaten in 12 hours due to the pain. I'm tired because he's woken me up and now I can't get back to sleep because pregnancy.

Would I be unreasonable to have a nice loud baby shark dance party with our toddler as soon as he wakes up tomorrow morning? I can guarantee it won't disturb the neighbours - just the guy in the bathroom with what promises to be an absolutely horrific hangover. There's also some vacuuming that needs doing on the landing. grin

Happygolucky009 Sat 23-Mar-19 06:54:22

I would get up early, ignore him and go out for the day. No good will come from sitting at home seething, he clearly isn't going to be good for anything today.

How often does he behave like this and is he safe to around? Are you safe?

Do your own thing with your child today and have a serious discussion tomorrow and consider whether you want a future with this man .

Di11y Sat 23-Mar-19 07:11:58

clearly your top priority is that both bathrooms are spotless in case toddler gets near them. so wake 'd'h and hand him a bottle of bleach as soon as toddler wakes.

Villageidiots Sat 23-Mar-19 07:16:16

What a selfish man. He should not have left you in that state anyway and getting so pissed is just unnecessary. Hopefully this was a one off?

6amDanceParty Sat 23-Mar-19 09:55:21

Thanks all. He genuinely is a great guy, a really good and attentive dad - he is just very easily convinced to have another drink, and the friends he was with are notorious for it. He almost never drinks, so believe me I wouldn't put up with this regularly - I think I've seen him sick from drink maybe 3 times in the 5 years we've been together.

I went for a different tactic in the end - after chucking the screaming toddler on top of him and getting no response (he's clearly still dead to the world), I called his mum. grin Double win because she will happily look after our toddler for the day so I can rest without feeling that he's being neglected, and her and FIL will mercilessly ridicule DH about this for years to come. I even took a video of him snoring collapsed over the toilet and have shared it with select people who will make him feel like a knob. grin

Stawp Sat 23-Mar-19 10:46:06

Why wait until he's awake for your baby shark party? Get the party started!

Happygolucky009 Sat 23-Mar-19 11:05:16

@6amdanceparty well done and enjoy the peace!

VampirateQueen Sat 23-Mar-19 11:35:21

Well done @6amDanceParty

Orchidflower1 Sat 23-Mar-19 11:44:27

Great plan op!!

Janedoughnut Sat 23-Mar-19 12:46:42

Please tell us you haven't cleaned up his vomit.

Expressedways Sat 23-Mar-19 12:58:13

Excellent update!

HarrysOwl Sat 23-Mar-19 13:00:35

Ooooh you play dirty! Well done!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 23-Mar-19 13:03:26

Good for MIL. Shame she brought up such a pillock.

6amDanceParty Sat 23-Mar-19 15:08:10

@Janedoughnut - I did not! (apart from wiping clean enough that I could sit down).

He knew he was in the doghouse and had made an effort to clean both toilets by the time I made it back from PIL's around midday (40-minute drive each way, and I hung around there for a bit to let him stew and enjoy the company).

Then I went to the hospital (which was my other reason for wanting to offload the toddler) and it turns out I have a bladder/kidney infection, which at least explains why I was feeling so shitty. Now I've got drugs and will hopefully be on the mend again! grin

DH has apologised for his behaviour - said he felt fine in the pub, but got steadily more trashed walking home (that phenomenon I'm well familiar with from my youth where you breathe in a lung full of fresh outside air and are immediately twice as drunk as you were before.) He claims he's "suffered enough" but I'm not convinced... I think he needs some more ridicule first. Plus, I'm making him do the DIY he promised to do today which involves a lot of bending down to the floor and loud hammering. I can see the regret echoing in his ears. grin

Thanks for the laughs and support, ladies! flowers

Orchidflower1 Mon 25-Mar-19 10:31:02

Good for you op! Get well soon and best wishes with the rest of your pregnancy 💐

Clutterbugsmum Mon 25-Mar-19 11:20:50

He knew he was in the doghouse and had made an effort to clean both toilets by the time I made it back from PIL's around midday well I hope you told him to make sure that both bathroom are cleaned properly.

Hope you feel better soon.

ChaosMoon Mon 25-Mar-19 12:02:59

@6amDanceParty you are brilliant. Ridicule is a most effective and enjoyable tool.

blackteasplease Mon 25-Mar-19 16:58:40

Well done OP. You seem to have a handle on things.

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