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You're not really a single parent

(181 Posts)
Noodledoodlesandspud Fri 22-Mar-19 22:23:00

I posted a status on Facebook earlier saying in a jokey way how hard it was to have a shower as a single parent. My aunt who lives abroad commented 'well you're not really a single parent are you'.
I asked her to clarify thinking that she might have not realised me and STBXH had separated. She replied well STBXH helps out a lot and what ever happens you still have the boys keeping you together'. I replied saying that actually STBXH only has the boys one day a week and rarely pays maintenance etc and I do everything for my boys. She then said there no need to be like that.
AIBU to be really pissed off that she said that.
Tbh she lives abroad and hasn't seen STBXH since we split and his lovely persona has slipped (he's a manipulative bastard and noone else saw it until after we split and his mask started to slip).

SoupDragon Sun 24-Mar-19 12:38:35

it's particularly upsetting to be told that single mums brought it on themselves by breeding with losers when you've just buried your DH.

Strangely enough' it's particularly upsetting even when you haven't. 🙄

DrCoconut Sun 24-Mar-19 13:01:26

Just to clarify I did say no one should be judged. I'm a lone parent in a situation I could not have dreamed of let alone chosen (ex is not dead). I can't go into detail but let's just say I understand being judged. Which is why I understood widows wanting a classification that lifts them out of the firing line for other people's opinion. It's not so much saying that others should be judged as self preservation, which is instinctive when your world is collapsing round you. The better option is obviously "society" minding its own business.

Sunonthepatio Sun 24-Mar-19 13:06:40

Your aunt was rude, very. She has no real idea about your life and support mechanisms and shouldn't really be making such personal comments publicly. Also, people who tell you " no need to be like that" when you correct their factual inaccuracies are passive aggressive and victim space claiming.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka Sun 24-Mar-19 13:21:18

it's particularly upsetting to be told that single mums brought it on themselves by breeding with losers when you've just buried your DH.

Strangely enough' it's particularly upsetting even when you haven't. 🙄

^ Yep.

pineapplebryanbrown Sun 24-Mar-19 13:56:23

Gravy what a fabulous post, i agree with you wholeheartedly.

NinnieNouse Sun 24-Mar-19 15:57:10

@Soup Yes!

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