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AIU to be a bit cheesed off with DH today?

(4 Posts)
downinthedumpstoday Fri 22-Mar-19 21:15:03

So DH was away visiting friends last weekend. DS 2 and 3 were home with me, we were all ill with a nasty cold, but I tried not to be a bitch about it as he doesn't see these friends very often (like the last time was about a year ago). He has a hobby which means he's out once a week in the evening, sometimes twice. But he works FT from home, so completely does his fair share of dressing the boys, shopping, does all the cooking. I work PT, study PT, try (and often fail) to keep up with the washing, and cleaning, but don't tend to go out in the evenings because I'm usually too knackered, and DS1 comes over every other weekend so I like to make sure I'm around for that.
During the week, DH usually passes out pretty much after dinner, so I often end up going to bed and he sleeps on the sofa. If I pass out first, it's the other way around. We are tired, as both DS2 & 3 have SEND, and that combined with working/study is quite demanding.
So today, we had a little spat earlier (about shouting up the stairs, nothing major). But as we finished dinner, he suddenly announced he was going out with one of his hobby mates. Apparently he was hoping that the mate was going to forget about it, but they obviously hadn't, and he muttered something about it having to do with their hobby networking connections. So, again, I tried not to be shitty about it, and it was all fine, he went off ok, no cross words or PA shittiness went on. He half-heartedly asked me if I wanted to go, just as he was leaving, but I said of course I couldn't, as DS1 was here, hadn't been here in a month, and DH has previously not been happy to leave DS2 & 3 with DS1, so I was surprised that all of a sudden it was ok. I also didn't want to go because I felt like shit and wasn't even dressed.
But I can't help but start to feel a bit cross about it all - all week, one of us has been asleep before the other in the evening, he's been shut away in his office all day, every day, and the moment it seems like we're going to actually spend the evening together, he buggers off. Or AIBU? It is not that I don't want him to go out and have a good time, it's just that it always seems to be his turn - he's said I should go off for a weekend but tbh the only thing I would want to do is go off on my own for a bit of peace and quiet. The last time I was away on my own was the weekend which I spent with my mother after dropping DD at university back in last October. Our last night off together was in January.

downinthedumpstoday Fri 22-Mar-19 22:06:19


C0untDucku1a Fri 22-Mar-19 22:15:06

Your dh has been out two weekends in a row. You're unhappy but don't want to make plans yourself. I think that is a little u.

Babysharkdododont Fri 22-Mar-19 22:18:24

Put something in the family calender (or however you organise yourselves) and get some me time. I think it's a bit rough to begrudge your husband when you have equal access to time, but chose not to use it.

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