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AIBU to not want partner going out night before mother's Day?

(111 Posts)
ohhcecelia Fri 22-Mar-19 18:15:39

DH had planned a night in with some mates Friday before mother's Day - which was fine, I planned to go off my mum's to spend the night so I was out of the way.

Now people can't make it so instead he's planning a work night out, the Saturday night before mother's Day? AIBU to be upset at this? No plans for the next day, I obviously won't get one of the two lie-ins I get a year (birthday and MD) and he'll spend the entire day hungover.

0nTheEdge Mon 08-Apr-19 18:37:25

I've read your posts again and it sounds like he's been neglecting you for some time. He takes all the lie-ins bar max 2 a year, so 362 for him. He lets you do most of the housework and does not accommodate you working. He showed you a total lack of consideration when booking the night out before mother's day, sent you crappy messages, is probably cheating or at best mugging you off by flirting and spending time with another woman. He threatened to frame you for HIS drugs when you voiced displeasure over his shoddy behaviour. Have I missed anything out? Do you honestly want to be in a relationship with this man? Do you think there's any chance he'll actually change? I think you are worth a lot more than he could ever provide. Your daughter too.

Dropitlikeitshot Mon 08-Apr-19 10:20:53

Why haven’t you kicked him out? Change the locks, throw his crap out and be done with it. Obviously tell your relative what you’re doing, but they can’t act aware to him.
It’s very difficult, but the relief you’ll feel will be immense.

Quartz2208 Mon 08-Apr-19 10:20:01

You need to take back control - if this has taught you anything its that it is truly over. He needs to know this

Ignore him completely

ohhcecelia Mon 08-Apr-19 09:55:23

Another week. Just turned up home, acting like I'm the ridiculous one for not being able to sleep and worrying about him being out all night. Perhaps I am.

Ginger1982 Mon 08-Apr-19 09:39:18

How long until his notice is up?

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 08-Apr-19 09:35:07

Oh god I'd be bolting the door from the inside or changing the locks or just booking a week away anywhere with your dd, just get out of the situation some how! He's a vile prick who doesn't love you. Remember that - he doesn't love you and he's been making a massive twat of you in front of this girl at work by basically telling her every day that he fancies her not you.

Do NOT take him back!!!

ohhcecelia Mon 08-Apr-19 09:29:28

Sorry for being ignorant - the past week has been tough. He's still here and determined to stay until his eviction notice requires him to. Treating the place like a hotel, going out until all hours, barely seeing his daughter, accompanied by leading me on asking for a hug, asking for a kiss, asking if he got a place of his own for a few months to get space do I think it would work.

I know I need to stop being pathetic and try and take back control but this is so fucking hard.

tinatsarina Mon 01-Apr-19 20:18:15

I hope you've chucked him out. Did he come back for his stuff?

Eliza9917 Mon 01-Apr-19 12:44:09

Did he collect his stuff and leave OP?

Viobihi Mon 01-Apr-19 11:26:25

I think in isolation it's very precious and over the top to not want your DH to socialise the night before Mother's Day, but it sounds like there's a lot more going on here. I wouldn't even be focusing on Mother's Day, you need to sit down with him and insist that he pulls his weight throughout the year. It's not fair for you to be doing everything

Do you ever read threads before posting on them? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Weenurse Mon 01-Apr-19 08:58:47

How are things?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 01-Apr-19 06:44:43

How did you get on last night OP? Did he come back? Have you spoken to your landlord yet?

Chickencellar Mon 01-Apr-19 06:43:42

hmm might want to read the thread before weighing in with now useless advice.

PregnantSea Mon 01-Apr-19 06:40:33

I think in isolation it's very precious and over the top to not want your DH to socialise the night before Mother's Day, but it sounds like there's a lot more going on here. I wouldn't even be focusing on Mother's Day, you need to sit down with him and insist that he pulls his weight throughout the year. It's not fair for you to be doing everything.

Ihatehashtags Mon 01-Apr-19 06:35:18

Yes. Who cares about Mother’s Day. If he’s hung over just leave him with the kids and go and do whatever you want. That’ll be punishment enough for him

BringMeAGinandTonic Mon 01-Apr-19 03:57:58

Definitely dispose of that weed. But honestly, what a fucking prick to say he'd call the cops. On his own family for his own drugs. Who does this guy think he is? Scarface?

And "the scenic route" sort of sounds like a euphemism, tbh. Not sure if anyone mentioned that. Read OP's posts, not so much the others.

Hugs to you.

Viobihi Sun 31-Mar-19 21:18:39

Did this conversation about the weed take place via text? If so, call the police yourself and show them the texts.

I’d also screenshot the messages and ‘out’ him on Facebook. Let everyone see how much of a fucking prick he is. Men like this make my fucking blood boil, don’t take any shit from him OP x

lablablab Sun 31-Mar-19 21:00:33

Wow. He's a nasty piece of work. And all on mothers day too...

I think you should either do one of two things:

Find the weed and dispose of it. Change the locks. Leave his stuff on the doorstep. Start the eviction process.

Or

Call the police and say you're ex has just told you he's planted weed in the house and used it to threaten you and need advice about what to do. Change the locks. Leave his stuff on the doorstep. Start the eviction process.

But please do not let this shithead back through the door. You'll never get rid of him. Take this chance, you deserve so much better.

0nTheEdge Sun 31-Mar-19 20:55:11

He really is the full package isn't he? At least he's making it easier for you to make a decision. What a nasty piece of work. Hope you enjoyed your day with the lovely people in your life.

CheshireChat Sun 31-Mar-19 20:47:48

Probably better to text him so you have some proof.

Tilikum Sun 31-Mar-19 20:37:16

Oh my God! What a complete shithead. Can't believe he would report you to the police and insist on staying in the house until officially evicted, rather than doing the decent thing and skulking off like the fucking weasel he is.

You are well rid of him.

ENormaSnob Sun 31-Mar-19 20:34:36

Well rid.

Let him ring the police.

Prick.

IggyAce Sun 31-Mar-19 20:14:41

OP stay strong, flush the weed that you find. Is there a chance he may turn violent?

RevealTheLegend Sun 31-Mar-19 20:14:01

Tell him you’ll Call the Police yourself.

They’ll soon see whose weed it is with a hair Strand Test.

What a loser 🤣

AppleKatie Sun 31-Mar-19 20:02:33

Tell him to jog on and phone the police about his own weed. hmm

Don’t be threatened. He won’t do it. And if he does you tell them it’s his and he’s an abusive cunt you are trying to kick out.

-<disclaimer I might make sure it was well hidden amongst his stuff and my fingerprints were nowhere near it, or else just flush it away first>

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