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Disloyal friend

(4 Posts)
freeasabird2017 Thu 21-Mar-19 21:40:53

I'm 42 and has realised I have no real friends. It's so sad and pathetic. I'm a professional women in my early forties and I'm so pissed about it. For context my friends have done some awful things to me. They have gossiped maliciously about me as well as hurting me personally.

How do other people deal with this realisation that the friends they thought were lifelong is in fact a complete lie.

Skittlesandbeer Thu 21-Mar-19 22:17:36

I think you get it straight in your head, perhaps with the help of a therapist, then move on. It’s probably important to check your own behaviour in these friendships (like why you stick with people who behave badly towards you for so long?) so you can watch out for it in the future. Maybe do some work on boundary-setting, and boundary policing.

But it’s normal that as you move through life’s different phases, friends will come and go. No extra points for dragging the friends from primary school with you until death?! Even if the friendships end badly, you CAN shrug it off as natural attrition.

Time to figure out what interests you, then go find those new friends. I’ve made 2 new friends in the last year (I’m 48). It’s quite exciting and very possible. Good luck!

scissorsandpen Thu 21-Mar-19 22:23:35

Great and hopeful post from skittles ! I have had a bad experience but have nurtured my old Friends and took up a sport where o have made some friends that I think could progress although very wary . I don’t
It’s the so called friends but I do feel bitter. It
Might take a little effort but New and livelier friends are out there :-)

scissorsandpen Thu 21-Mar-19 22:24:26

I don’t miss old friends doh more like frenemies

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