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Tight see through white top and no bra in the office

(97 Posts)
furrybadger Thu 21-Mar-19 20:26:18

Okay so I work in quite a large organisation and work within an office, we don’t have a formal dress code as such, we can wear casual clothes as long as it’s appropriate, so for example no ripped jeans, no flip flops, no low cut tops etc.

Today there was a young woman in the office, she had a tight white see through T-shirt on and no bra, very clearly see everything especially when she is walking around the office with everything bouncing around.

Aibu to think this isn’t appropriate ? do others think this is ok in a office setting ? I understand not wearing a bra but surely not when your top is very clearly see through ?!

SurgeHopper Thu 21-Mar-19 20:27:01

Yeah it's innapropriate

Chocolateisfab Thu 21-Mar-19 20:28:03

Unless you work in a high class massage parlour she is being unreasonable.

Isth Thu 21-Mar-19 20:28:22

As much as I feel very hmm at ‘everything bouncing around’ , no, absolutely not appropriate. I work in a very casual office, building trade, and could wear flip flops, ripped jeans, whatever and there’s no way on this earth I would think that would be okay, no matter how fond of my chest I am!

NearlyVegan Thu 21-Mar-19 20:39:04

What about guys that wear whit shirts that you can see their nipples through? how do you feel about that?

peppaaargh Thu 21-Mar-19 20:48:10

Nearlyvegan repulsed. Work is not a place for nipples

Hushnownobodycares Thu 21-Mar-19 20:53:26

Bit conflicted here.

If it's not OK for her it shouldn't be OK for guys to get their nips out in thin shirts. It does sound wildly inappropriate though so clearly I'm a hypocrite hmm

furrybadger Thu 21-Mar-19 20:53:47

Men is a bit different, would you enjoy it if a man had no underpants on and see through trousers on watching his bits jiggle about ? I don’t think so

Isleepinahedgefund Thu 21-Mar-19 20:57:45

This always happens when there's no dress code. None where I work, and there was a big problem with one employee who thought nothing of seeing the public with her arse crack hanging out of her shorts and a pair of flip flops teamed with a stained I'll fitting t shirt. Management had a tough time of it trying to deal with it because there was no dress code, basically it relied on everyone "doing the right thing". They couldn't discipline her for not following a non existent policy.

In the end the other staff doing the same job, including me, had a gentle word with her to explain that management weren't getting at her but dress code or no dress code there are professional standards and it's disrespectful to not bother to dress properly when you're seeing the public or even generally in the office - we didn't want to see her bum crack and manky feet every day either!

Biancadelrioisback Thu 21-Mar-19 20:57:51

Boobs/nipples do not equal male genitals

Wholovesorangesoda Thu 21-Mar-19 20:59:36

Oh God. Maybe the lighting at her home was different and she wasn't aware how see through it was?
Definitely not appropriate for a workplace though. I'm all for people wearing whatever they wish and outside of work if you really want everyone to be able to see your nipples then sure, whatever floats your boat, but not at work! Having said that, I'm obviously getting old cos I have no idea why you'd want everyone to be able to see everything!

Reters Thu 21-Mar-19 21:00:18

biscuitbiscuit

Bluntness100 Thu 21-Mar-19 21:00:51

Huge lol at thr nuggets trying to pretend a woman showing her nipples is the same as seeing a mans, and breasts have no sexual connotations, like they grew up under a rock and don't know better,

Yes op of course it's inappropriate.

Biancadelrioisback Thu 21-Mar-19 21:01:58

Do you think she was aware that everything was visible? I only ask because I ended up in a similar situation when I put a new white shirt on and it looked fine at home but once I got into work you could very clearly see my bra through the shirt. Very clearly.

furrybadger Thu 21-Mar-19 21:02:06

I’m all for #freethenip and not wearing bras but for people saying what’s the problem, would you go to work like that ?

Isth Thu 21-Mar-19 21:02:37

Yea, cause lady nipples, but not men’s nipples obviously, are absolutely the same as being able to clearly see a mans genitals 🙄

DontCallMeShitley Thu 21-Mar-19 21:14:37

Unless you work in a high class massage parlour she is being unreasonable.

That's not high class.

HennyPennyHorror Thu 21-Mar-19 21:16:30

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If she's happy so what? If you don't like it, don't look.

LtJudyHopps Thu 21-Mar-19 21:18:54

I put a black bra on today with a blue top - looked fine in my mirror. I got to the work toilets to realise you could see the bra! Luckily I kept my jacket on as the air con was in full force. It happens to me all the time my mirrors at home clearly aren’t as well lit as the office artificial lights! Same thing could have happened to her.

NearlyVegan Thu 21-Mar-19 21:21:32

No I wouldn't but I also wouldn't judge it's just some boobs imo but I'm happy to accept it's not the average opinion.

Billballbaggins Thu 21-Mar-19 21:24:53

I don’t want to see anyone’s nips in the office, male or female nipples (usually it’s men who are worse, well they were where I used to work, cheap white/pale pink shirts then helloooooooo Mr peanut smuggler eww)

Bluetrews25 Thu 21-Mar-19 21:25:24

Or even ((biscuit))((biscuit)) @reters grin

Dominobeauty Thu 21-Mar-19 21:27:25

Get all the ladies to put dried peas under their T-shirt’s (nipples) and start a Micky taking trend. The boss will put a stop to it then. Watch the men’s eyes bulge ant everyone.

AngelsOnHigh Thu 21-Mar-19 21:27:28

A young girl I used to work with dressed inappropriately and the boss gave me some cash to buy some "work" shirts for everyone to wear.

He didn't want to hurt her feelings but didn't want her bringing down the "tone" of his business.

Persimmonn Thu 21-Mar-19 21:28:57

YANBU! We have a problem person like this at work. I really want to tell her about bra intervention, because her boobs spill out and around, and bounce with every step.
I don’t think they realise what they look like and everyone is too polite to say anything.

Springwalk Thu 21-Mar-19 21:29:09

So what are you gonna do op? No good just complaining on here.
If you feel it is concerning talk to her. Be direct. Maybe she doesn’t realise, maybe she does. Either way I am not sure it is right to rip her apart on here.

Amrapaali Thu 21-Mar-19 21:30:20

Omg!! Are see-thru bras verboten? 😲 I have worn many delicate tops even though I knew my bras were visible through the transparent material...

But OP you are right NO bras and tight top seems so.oo inappropriate

staydazzling Thu 21-Mar-19 21:31:53

Tbh I think at work you should be wearing a bra, time and place to let them swing,

Skittlesandbeer Thu 21-Mar-19 21:32:45

Not ok.

Hard to believe no one picked her up on it, and made her find/buy a jacket. Every workplace I’ve been in would have resulted in manager ‘having a chat’.

Noticed at school assembly yesterday morning that two teachers had come to work in floaty sheer dresses with very obvious dark knickers underneath. No doubt in their case they’ll be informed with glee by 400 kids throughout the day! blush

Purpleartichoke Thu 21-Mar-19 21:38:53

If it’s just that you can tell she has nipples, then stop being ridiculous. The current obsession with nipple protrusion baffles people my age. Women have nipples and sometimes they place little bumps on the shirt. Deal with it. It’s also ok if you can tell her breasts bounce a bit instead of holding perfectly still in. An iron clad bra.

If you can actually see her breasts, then that is a different story and hr should probably speak to her.

furrybadger Thu 21-Mar-19 21:39:09

I think someone mentioned it to her manager but not sure if anything was said, the young lads in the office didn’t know were to put their eyes 🤦🏽‍♀️

Drogosnextwife Thu 21-Mar-19 21:40:52

Perhaps she didn't notice, the lighting in your office might have been making the top more see through.

Whoops75 Thu 21-Mar-19 21:47:36

I would tell her, if she knows then you look like a prude if she didn’t you’ll have a new friend.

A straight forward approach ‘ oh hi X, FYI your top is quite see through.

IncrediblySadToo Thu 21-Mar-19 21:51:01

the young lads in the office didn’t know were to put their eyes

Oh, I’m sure they did...

thedisorganisedmum Thu 21-Mar-19 21:58:17

this is exactly why companies have dress codes, and when they contain puzzling rules or ridiculous details, it's usually based on one case. Sometimes, it needs to be written in black and white what skirt length is appropriate hmm

FullOfJellyBeans Thu 21-Mar-19 22:05:15

YANBU maybe she didn't realise how see through it was? Otherwise I can't imagine how she thought this was a professional (even casual professional) way to dress.

Laloup1 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:05:32

A woman I worked with recently wore a white see through top with flower-shaped stickers over her nipples. I’m pretty relaxed but that was interesting office attire!

Whoops75 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:09:50

Laloup they are nipple pasties to hide protruding nips not an item of clothing grin
She probably had a sheer bra didn’t know they could be seen!

SkinnyPete Thu 21-Mar-19 22:15:22

As a bum man, I'd appreciate it a lot if you ladies only ever wore unflattering baggy sacks on your derriere in the office please.

Gth1234 Thu 21-Mar-19 22:21:22

sounds like a good look to me. smile

Peakypolly Thu 21-Mar-19 22:21:53

We used to have a receptionist who, if any of us young women arrived in what she considered inappropriate office wear, would whip out a (pretty grim, bobbly) cardi from under her desk and tell us to pop it on as “you never know if someone from Head Office may visit”. She really didn’t give you an opportunity to refuse! Inappropriate in her eyes was sleeveless or even very slightly transparent tops/dresses. We all thought she was batty and whipped the cardi off as soon as we were out of her sight.
In retrospect, maybe it made me consider my work attire a bit more

NearlyVegan Thu 21-Mar-19 22:25:43

What skinny Pete said

Lolwhat Thu 21-Mar-19 22:30:26

It’s just nipples, stop sexualising the female body when boobs are literally just baby feeders, if you think it’s inappropriate then don’t dress yourself like it🤷🏼‍♀️

MulberryPeony Thu 21-Mar-19 22:30:48

I have a Goddard glossies nude bra and absolutely cannot wear it with a fine merino knit jumper or it looks like I’m braless if it’s chilly. Her house might have been much warmer!

CheshireChat Thu 21-Mar-19 22:31:43

IME men know they need not to look and they just focus very firmly on the face (as they should clearly).

Sunonthepatio Thu 21-Mar-19 22:41:11

No. Women should not be leered at by men in the office and should know where to look, but women should also not go out of their way to flaunt their sexuality in the workplace.

At the very least, they won't be taken seriously as workers and that is a pity.

GabsAlot Thu 21-Mar-19 22:43:46

fine if someone doesnt want to wear a bra but not with a white see through top

U2HasTheEdge Thu 21-Mar-19 22:46:49

It’s just nipples, stop sexualising the female body when boobs are literally just baby feeders

Boobs are also sexual. You might not think they should be but the fact is they are. It is not appropriate dress for office work. Saying they are just baby feeders isn't going to change that.

DustyMaiden Thu 21-Mar-19 22:50:02

I attended a managers conference where a woman wore a string vest and no bra, no one mentioned it.

StoppinBy Thu 21-Mar-19 22:50:54

I wish I could go braless.... unfortunately my boobs have seen better days lol.

I would look for sure but in a jealous kind of way, as long as she isn't putting her crazy braless boobs in your face then they aren't really your problem.

EBearhug Thu 21-Mar-19 22:57:23

I do go braless most days, but usually in a dark-coloured, loose top. Besides anything else, the air-con is a bit too keen for a thin top.

NearlyVegan Thu 21-Mar-19 23:01:54

Lips are far more sexual than breasts

GruciusMalfoy Thu 21-Mar-19 23:07:53

I attended a managers conference where a woman wore a string vest and no bra, no one mentioned it.

Who even owns a string vest?! That's more offensive than a bit of nipple grin

Purpletigers Thu 21-Mar-19 23:10:40

Completely inappropriate. She sounds like an attention seeker . I wouldn’t want to see a man in a tight white see through tshirt at work either .

JazzyBBG Thu 21-Mar-19 23:14:33

Attention seeking springs to mind.

Deadringer Thu 21-Mar-19 23:16:07

Tell her to leave her nipples at home.

Whoops75 Thu 21-Mar-19 23:20:18

FYI Braless breast’s are obvious in all clothes, just saying.

limitedperiodonly Thu 21-Mar-19 23:27:16

She is a dusgusting hoor. I think you should brun her. Where did those pore young lads put their eyes??!! I hope thye poked them out. its what I would have done to them.

ShastaBeast Thu 21-Mar-19 23:28:06

The theory is that boobs are very much sexual - we don’t need them that big to feed babies. Primates don’t have huge knockers after all.

Although primates and some humans, past and present, don’t need to cover up lest some other human finds it distracting/distressing.

On balance it’s probably not ok and I’d never do it intentionally, at least not showing my bra.

Whoops75 Thu 21-Mar-19 23:32:07

Nude vest under a sheer top much nicer than just bra imo

Keep it classy smile

SocksInPeril Thu 21-Mar-19 23:34:22

Actually braless for sure or did you actually just see a bit of nipple? I have many a soft bra which is absolutely fine under a t shirt until I leave my home and enter somewhere with aircon turned up.

If braless and tight top then less, a bit inappropriate (though maybe as a society we need to consider why this is and do something about it), however you ABU for feeling sorry for the ‘poor lads’ not knowing where to look hmm

WaterQuarter Thu 21-Mar-19 23:48:34

Jiggly free range tits under a tight white tshirt is not appropriate work wear. And as for women's breasts not being sexual cos they're literally just baby feeders...massive eye roll.

Whoknows55 Thu 21-Mar-19 23:59:10

Definitely inappropriate!

Persimmonn Fri 22-Mar-19 00:13:22

A string vest?!!! Like this? Seriously really? 😳

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:26:09

I had a mishap on the way to work one day. So I went into M&S (a reputable store not in the business of supplying whores one might have thought) and bought a naice white dress. Looked fine in the mirror, went to work. In the mirror I could see the entire outline of my body. I told myself I was mad and carried on with my day - surely I was seeing things. I was looking too hard. Went to salsa class after work and my friend texted me that he could see everything. (We may have had sex that night). I have never mentioned it at work since, nor has anyone else.

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:27:47

I did have a bra and knickers on mind you - which everyone could probably see blush

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:33:07

I would be utterly mortified if someone at work dragged me into an office that day.
If she does it daily, maybe a quiet word might be in order, but don't humiliate someone when M&S fails to live up to the respectability you expect!

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:35:51

Also, if you don't wear a padded bra, your nipples will protrude. I also learned that the hard way.

WaterQuarter Fri 22-Mar-19 00:37:02

I went into M&S (a reputable store not in the business of supplying whores one might have thought)

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:43:50

My poor colleagues though were ever so polite and never mentioned the fact that I was effectively wearing a see-through dress.
I promise I normally dress appropriately!

Verynice Fri 22-Mar-19 00:47:53

When you're under pressure for time, it fits, it looks fine in the mirror 12 inches from you - you just sometimes end up parading around the office in a see-through dress! I've had so many wardrobe mishaps I could write a book. NOBODY tells me though! I'm left to my salsa buddy telling me that he can see everything. sad

Aridane Fri 22-Mar-19 00:49:40

Unless you work in a high class massage parlour she is being unreasonable

And probably still unreasonable in a high class massage parlour grin

DrVonPatak Fri 22-Mar-19 00:50:24

Completely derailing the topic, but how about boycotting white t shirts until they actually go back to producing proper non see through ones? It's like finding the holy trail sometimes, occasionally you hear roumors, but no-one has actually seen one. Personal pet peeve of mine.

DeRigueurMortis Fri 22-Mar-19 01:05:28

Of course it's inappropriate.

WaterQuarter Fri 22-Mar-19 01:08:37

DrVonPatak, diaphanous white t-shirts are a source of annoyance for me too! Not too see through, not too thick, not too clingy, not too baggy. Is that too much to ask! M&S could solve their woes by fixing that kind of problem.

Nameisthegame Fri 22-Mar-19 01:40:40

Personally I think it’s fine not to wear a bra, but I hate wearing them. But no way should your top be see. Through. She should atleast be wearing a vest.

PregnantSea Fri 22-Mar-19 06:46:19

I used to work in an office with no proper dress code - there was something about no offensive words on t-shirts but that was it. A small number of people dressed in a way that was wildly inappropriate - men in stained smelly t-shirts or arse cracks hanging out over baggy jeans, women with no bras with see-through tops, tight short leather skirts, crop tops with midriff showing etc. People used to talk about them and how inappropriate it was. People would laugh at them. Their own managers would come and moan to me about it sometimes in a gossipy way! It was very rare for anyone to actually speak to the employee about it though. I think that all offices should have a dress code, even if it's a very relaxed one. It nips these situations in the bud.

FenellaVelour Fri 22-Mar-19 07:00:25

my salsa buddy telling me that he can see everything.

Read that in the voice of Patrick Stewart.

Betsy86 Fri 22-Mar-19 07:00:37

‘It nips these situations in the bud’ grin

Although yes a dress code with a few little rules is best. We have to wear uniform at work im quite glad really as saves the stress of thinking what to wear. Although we can wear are own smart trousers now which has a few issues...x

strawberrisc Fri 22-Mar-19 07:19:01

@FenellaVelour

But it was too late. I’d seen everything. 😁

Thegoodthere Fri 22-Mar-19 07:22:41

YABU for that "the poor young boys didn't know where to look, she's distracting them from their work" schtick.

anniehm Fri 22-Mar-19 07:22:47

At my brothers work they had this issue so the bosses brought in company logo polo shirts and shirts for all (they can wear whatever bottoms they like as long as they are dark except skintight leggings)

badlydrawnperson Fri 22-Mar-19 07:25:47

t nips these situations in the bud. I see what you did there.

RisingLikeAPhoenix Fri 22-Mar-19 07:30:46

Possibly was not aware. I still blush when I think about the time I went to work in a navy dress that was pleated at the bottom. All absolutely fine in the bedroom mirror - went to the staff loo later in the day and you could see right through the bottom half. I had been walking around for half the day with my knickers on show and nobody told me!

megrichardson Fri 22-Mar-19 07:40:25

I think that often people who dress in a very revealing way know exactly what they are doing.

Happyhusband Fri 22-Mar-19 07:44:47

Sometime I think I work with a whole office full of tits but maybe not in the sense of this thread!

BlueEyedPersephone Fri 22-Mar-19 07:54:04

I started this thread in the not appropriate camp, then actually remembered how many times, pre-children when I had sheer underwear, that it would have looked like I was braless when in fact I wasn't, so in this case I am now thinking unless the company has an enforced dress code, leave her alone and focus on your own life. It is also not the law to have to wear a bra

MadAboutWands Fri 22-Mar-19 08:07:34

I don’t agree with anyone, men or women, showing their nipples off at work.
It doesn’t matter of that woman had a sheer bra that was showing up stuff (through TWO layers of clothing!!) or a guy wearing a light weight shirt that is transparent.

MadAboutWands Fri 22-Mar-19 08:11:02

As for no bra... surely it depends?

I wear an H cup and I promise you that I wouldn’t want to go out wo a bra.
A friend of mine is a small A cup and regularly wears no bra. No one would be able to tell.

I suspectthat sais woman often doesn’t wear a bra but no one noticed before. It’s the sheer material of the T-shirt that made it obvious.

Imacliche Fri 22-Mar-19 08:11:02

Did i miss the memo on nipples becoming wildly offensive.
Do i need to get rid of mine.

Stop looking and you wont be offended.
Doubt they were "jiggling" unless star jumps are compulsory in the work place

MulberryPeony Fri 22-Mar-19 08:11:55

Imagine my surprise when I get to work this morning and sit next to a braless colleague in a tight white tee! Should I tell him I can see his nipples or take off my bra in solidarity?

TOADfan Fri 22-Mar-19 08:24:29

I think it is highly inappropriate just like coming into work in see through leggings.

I don't want to see your tits nor your thong thanks very much.

Not a good look..even Heidi Klum and Miley Cyrus can't pull it off.

TapasForTwo Fri 22-Mar-19 09:11:44

I think you missed the human nature memo Imacliche

You can argue all you like about this, but the fact is that breasts are sexualised whether you like it or not, and most men will enjoy looking (and some women). If I saw a beautiful cat you I would want to look at it.

If someone turned up looking like that where I work they will get talked about, and the boss would tell them in no uncertain terms to cover up. We do have a dress code though, so no-one would come in like that anyway. And, yes, it is an attention seeking way to dress because it us out of context and inappropriate wear for the office.

nometal Fri 22-Mar-19 09:36:57

"I wear an H cup and I promise you that I wouldn’t want to go out wo a bra.
A friend of mine is a small A cup and regularly wears no bra. No one would be able to tell."

My wife wears an H cup too and occasionally goes to work without a bra, particularly in the summer. However, she only does so when wearing a top that provides plenty of control. I work in the same place as her and am happy that she doesn't look inappropriate. Sometimes I haven't noticed until bedtime. Besides, she's a 28H which really isn't that big.

Mummyshark2019 Fri 22-Mar-19 09:41:02

Yes totally inappropriate.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Fri 22-Mar-19 09:48:56

Yep, you can keep your nips for home and leisure. Not appropriate for work. Manager needs to have a word. Ideally not a male one. blush

Hushnownobodycares Fri 22-Mar-19 10:21:39

men in stained smelly t-shirts

That would bother me a whole lot more than someone giving the girls the chance to sway in the breeze.

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