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To think this is a last straw....

(4 Posts)
Hadenoughofitall441 Thu 21-Mar-19 16:43:50

DP has been grating on my nerves for weeks now, we’ve been together 16 years and have 2 dc. I’ve come to realise the gaslighting and I’ve had just about enough of it. We are supposed to be going to Disneyland Paris this summer and DS knows as he’s has asd and doesn’t like surprises. DP just got pissed off over a non issue and then all of a sudden says he cancelling it. But apparently it’s because of me and he thinks I will struggle because I’m always tired. Dd has been ill all weekend so I’ve had about 6 hours sleep over 3 nights and I said I needed this weekend to rejuvenate and he’s taken that to think I won’t be able to manage Disney land for 5 days. I do have a medical condition that affects pretty much my whole body but I’ve never complained to him, I always go to work, do the school runs etc. I haven’t paid for the holiday only some added extras ( he got the money from all deceased relative) he was the one who wanted to go, been excited for a year and now all of a sudden changes his mind. I’m just worried what it will do to DS who’s very excited (more for the rollercoasters) if he cancels this. I’m not sure where to take it from here but I feel like this is the last straw and I’m sitting here fuming about it....

KarmaStar Thu 21-Mar-19 17:27:35

Hi op,flowersfor you.
I hope your dc gets better soon and you manage to catch up on some sleep.
Very unpleasant behaviour from your you think he has spent the money on something else?or just doesn't want to go and deflecting 'the blame' on to you?
If it is paid for,could you manage two dc on your own if he doesn't go?
I'm not surprised you are fuming!
Is this really the last straw from your point of view?
So much for you to consider,but put you and dc at the top of your list,you deserve more than this!
Wish I could offer more help,but just wanted to say you're not alone,plenty of mumsnetters to help.🌷

Hadenoughofitall441 Thu 21-Mar-19 17:38:06

It’s all paid for as I’ve seen the final confirmation from when I’ve added the extras... it’s just he always pulls shit right before my birthday, letting it slide because I just think it’ll be a one off but then when I actually think about it, it all adds up. there’s no way I’m letting him blame this one me, no way. Of course I wouldn’t like to be a single parent but I’m not sure how much more I can put up with. It’s generally me and the kids most of the time anyway as he’s always at work. He does take DS out often but that doesn’t give him the right to belittle me, if I could work full time I would but I have the kids to think about and as you can imagine having an autistic child can be challenging and exhausting. Especially one that’s having a milestone this year, starting high school so I don’t wanna load anything else on him.

SpeedyBojangles Thu 21-Mar-19 17:54:09

He won't cancel. It's more gaslighting. Don't rise to it

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