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To think people these days have changed

(19 Posts)
Inliverpool1 Thu 21-Mar-19 09:52:04

So not having a great morning with work and personal life. People just not treating each other like there’s an actual person with feelings and expectations that they are dealing with.
I’m in a profession tbh where you have to be upbeat, on it like all the time. Constantly pumping people’s tyres telling them they are amazing and great. I do that. Why can’t they then respond with just the basics of politeness and courtesy. I think I must be getting old I don’t remember it being this bad 20 years ago

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Thu 21-Mar-19 09:56:04

I agree that people have become more rude and think that their feelings are the only ones which count.
I'm not sure what's happened tbh. Hope your day gets better though flowers

brizzlemint Thu 21-Mar-19 09:57:03

In the nicest possible way, do they think you are being too nice ? Somebody I work with is always wanting me to have coffee with her and she's always saying how nice I am and it's all a bit over bearing so I avoid her. Obviously I am always polite to her and ask how she is etc but I wish she'd leave me alone.

JustHereForASec Thu 21-Mar-19 10:02:32

Could it be that it's the role you are in has lost trust in some way?

I used to be polite and pleasant to chuggers for example when theh first appeared as I thought they were volunteers!

longwayoff Thu 21-Mar-19 10:07:00

Sounds exhausting. If I worked with you I'd be actively avoiding you. Constantly, and possibly insincerely, telling me how wonderful I am would be a serious irritant. Step back a little.

Margot33 Thu 21-Mar-19 10:10:53

Yes I agree with you there. I've learned to back off and not be so friendly, because people can be quite rude. Try reiki and meditation to make you feel good, and cleanse away other people's negativity. It works wonders for me.

kaytee87 Thu 21-Mar-19 10:11:17

I think you'll have to explain what your job is and what you mean by constantly telling people they're amazing?
If someone at work was constantly telling me I was amazing for no good reason then I'd find it awkward and insincere.

Margot33 Thu 21-Mar-19 10:12:13

Wish there are more people like you, I certainly wouldnt avoid you! I hope you have a lovely day.

Flicketyflack Thu 21-Mar-19 10:12:31

I agree with your comments. Many people now seem to like the sound of their own voice and want someone to talk to about themselves!

Everyone is busy and has a lot of stuff going on and I try and distinguish between people who I say hello to and share the niceties of life and real friends! It is sad but it preserves my sanity tbh.

Since becoming a parent many years back I have been surprised at how narcissistic many people are and if they are not talking about them it is their kids!


Brilliantidiot Thu 21-Mar-19 10:16:59

Yes I think things have changed in the way you describe. As @IWannaSeeHowItEnds says, I find that people think that only their needs, wants and feelings count, and even to the detriment of other people, they'll demand and demand.
I also think people are more materialistic.
I see a lot more complaints about other customers than I used to. And it's about 50/50 if they're warranted or not. Some are people behaving inappropriately and someone complains, some are someone complaining about someone when they're not being inappropriate.
The only sure thing is that I'm usually in the middle and end up pissing someone off!
I hope your day gets better - people who treat you like shit do get you down, but I try and remember it says more about them than me.

Inliverpool1 Thu 21-Mar-19 10:26:02

I run a sales team. It’s not insincere praise. I look for where they’ve done great things, I find the good in every call they make and focus on the positive.... I certainly don’t invite them for coffee or try and be their mate. The more you do it seems though

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz Thu 21-Mar-19 10:41:41

I'm with you OP. At the risk of generalising MASSIVELY what's the age demographic of your team? My DH does similar and finds his fairly young (late twenties) team a bit high maintenance at times. As in literally expecting praise for getting in on time. Questioning why they haven't been promoted within 6 months of expected performance. Then tears and tantrums at constructive feedback as it's "damaged their personal brand"! confused

But yes manners cost nothing and let's be honest pleasant conversation when appropriate can make everyone's day go a bit quicker, no?

Maybe follow their lead a bit and take the praise/chat down a gear. That way at least you feel you're not over investing in comparison.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Thu 21-Mar-19 11:05:23

According to Jeremy Vine, Brits are becoming more cheerful. We are at number 15, up from 19. I don't believe it though!

Inliverpool1 Thu 21-Mar-19 11:20:10

These guys are 35 !
I’ll hire over 33 and under 23 not the loons in the middle for the exact reasons you’ve mentioned.

kaytee87 Thu 21-Mar-19 11:24:24

I’ll hire over 33 and under 23 not the loons in the middle for the exact reasons you’ve mentioned.

hmm nice. Ageist and ableist.

You're probably not as nice as you think you are.

moosesormeece Thu 21-Mar-19 11:30:05

I find the good in every call they make

I am in sales and would find this really irritating, sorry! I don't need to be excessively thanked for doing my job and I would be a bit offended that you thought I did. I wouldn't be rude but I might get a bit huffy if you were really jumping in to tell me how great every single call was.

Though I am 32 so perhaps I'm the wrong sort of person for your team

DontCallMeCharlotte Thu 21-Mar-19 11:34:01

I work with a woman in her 50s.

She replies to colleagues - including her boss - with a grunt like a sulky teenager. I found it quite shocking.

Inliverpool1 Thu 21-Mar-19 11:47:29

kaytee87 - I never claimed to be nice

Inliverpool1 Thu 21-Mar-19 11:53:08

Certainly not today anyway. Although if I wasn’t it probably wouldn’t affect me enough to post about it ☺️

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