My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Sexual assault in school

242 replies

WeakAsIAm · 20/03/2019 21:20

So my 15 DD has been sexually assaulted by another pupil during a lesson at school.
The incident has been reported to the school and the boy has been removed from shared lessons.

I've met with the school today; the boy will return to normal lessons in 2 weeks, my DD has been offered mediation with the boy before he returns to discuss their issues.

During the meeting I was so upset for my DD that I just wanted to get her out of there and make sure she was safe.

Now the anger has set in, AIBU to think the school should be doing more about this and not passing it off as a slight misdemeanour?

I really want an example setting of this boy, I feel he should be permanently excluded, be reported to the police and let this be an example to all other pupils this behaviour is not acceptable.

Am I over reacting, I don't feel I am but I'm so upset about it maybe I'm not thinking straight?

If I am reasonable how can I get the school to take this seriously?

OP posts:
Report
Awrite · 20/03/2019 21:22

Report to the police.

The school is not the police.

Report
Tinyteatime · 20/03/2019 21:24

I would also report it to the police.

Report
Dramatical · 20/03/2019 21:25

Your DD has been sexually assaulted and school want her to MEDIATE with the assailant?

Shocking lack of awareness from the school. Totally unacceptable.

Report
CrabbyPatty · 20/03/2019 21:26

Report to police and social services- that's my professional opinion.

Report
Goposie · 20/03/2019 21:26

This is sadly all too common. Police.

Report
WeakAsIAm · 20/03/2019 21:27

Ye my DD is ashamed of what happened and I'm so bloody angry I just want to make sure I'm not being irrational.

OP posts:
Report
Gruzinkerbell1 · 20/03/2019 21:28

Another one voting for police. Schools aren’t above the law.

Report
maxinespalour · 20/03/2019 21:28

I agree, ring the police asap. It's vital you show your dd how serious this situation is, as school clearly aren't doing so!

Report
TeenTimesTwo · 20/03/2019 21:29

Yes it is totally unacceptable.

BUT

I think whether how the school has acted is proportionate or not depends on what the boy did, what his prior behaviour was like, and whether he is remorseful.

If he has been out of normal lessons for 2 weeks then the school are taking it pretty seriously.

Report
emilybrontescorsett · 20/03/2019 21:30

Report it to the police.
It's not your dd who should be attending any mediation sessions.

Report
burritofan · 20/03/2019 21:30

MEDIATION? THEIR ISSUES? I'm sorry, I have no advice, but I am furious for her and you and this is utterly unfair and wrong. I'm sorry.

Report
Mehaveit · 20/03/2019 21:31

Sexual assault is a criminal offence so the police should be involved if the child is over the legal age of criminal responsibility (aged 10+ so this boy is)

Report
NWQM · 20/03/2019 21:32

I'd be speaking to the police too.

You've probalay already done this but I'd also be checking the school's behavioural policy & asking them to explain their decision.

Our local High School's says:-

The second is where there are exceptional circumstances and it is not appropriate to implement other strategies, and where it could be appropriate to permanently exclude a student for a first or ‘one off’ offence. These might include:
Serious actual or threatened violence against another student or a member of staff
Sexual abuse or assault
Possession of or Supplying an illegal substances
Carrying an offensive weapon*
Arson
The academy will consider police involvement for any of the above offences.

If yours says something similar then I'd want to know why they decided it wasn't a permeant exclusion and did they consider police involvement. They may decline to tell you about the actions they have taken in specifics but keep asking about your daughter - why wasn't your daughter supported to call the police etc - if that's the tack they take.

Hope you daughter is okay - all things considered. What on earth did they mean about 'their issues'?

Report
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/03/2019 21:33

Oh fuck that shit
Mediation ?

Report and I so
Sorry this happened and listen to the warriors on here

So angry Angry

Report
WeakAsIAm · 20/03/2019 21:33

DD reports the boy has form for this, though nothing previously reported to school.

School report he is very remorseful and 'keen for this not to be spoken about by other pupils' I'll bet he bloody is. I genuinely don't see that as remorse but more I don't want to be in trouble.

No other girls have come forward as yet to report incidents, but I wonder if they would if they knew he was being dealt with?

OP posts:
Report
eastmidswarwicknightnanny · 20/03/2019 21:35

Report to police

Also contact safeguarding team at social care who knows what going on for that young person to have done this

School also have a duty to demonstrate how they are protecting all the children including your daughter and this other young person who has committed this offence.

Sounds like school are not following policies

Report
sue51 · 20/03/2019 21:35

Police now. The school's response is a disgrace.

Report
ADHMeeee · 20/03/2019 21:37

He's only sorry because he doesn't want people talking about what he did because he knows he will get a bad rep

Report
SabineUndine · 20/03/2019 21:37

Mediation? No chance. That would be like perpetuating the abuse, surely?

Report
NicoAndTheNiners · 20/03/2019 21:37

Has he admitted or or denied it? Because if he's admitted it I'm gobsmacked the school think mediation is appropriate. Ask the teachers (if they're women) would they be happy to mediate with someone who sexually assaulted them in the street? Or if the teachers are male ask them if they'd think it was appropriate of their wife was sexually assaulted by a colleague should she have to work with him still after a little chat?

Go to the police, if your dd agrees.

Report
AlpacasAreLlamas · 20/03/2019 21:37

Does the boy have rich parents by any chance?

Report
NicoAndTheNiners · 20/03/2019 21:38

And make sure your dd doesn't talk to other girls to try and get them to come forward. That could backfire, if she goes to the police they are best placed to know how to try and do this.

Report
QOD · 20/03/2019 21:39

SMe happened to a friends son at primary. The abuser was given a social worker and loads of support due to his abusive home background. Innocent friends child had to leave the school

Disgusting

Report
QueenofallIsee · 20/03/2019 21:39

Police, without question. I would be livid! The school might be glad of it, I understand that their guidelines for peer on peer abuse are bloody awful and many teachers find them so.

Report
dreichuplands · 20/03/2019 21:43

Report to the police.
I would ask to see a copy of their safeguarding guidelines, do they really support mediation.
As a pp said this is often a really minimized issue in schools.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.