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Sexual assault in school

(243 Posts)
WeakAsIAm Wed 20-Mar-19 21:20:34

So my 15 DD has been sexually assaulted by another pupil during a lesson at school.
The incident has been reported to the school and the boy has been removed from shared lessons.

I've met with the school today; the boy will return to normal lessons in 2 weeks, my DD has been offered mediation with the boy before he returns to discuss their issues.

During the meeting I was so upset for my DD that I just wanted to get her out of there and make sure she was safe.

Now the anger has set in, AIBU to think the school should be doing more about this and not passing it off as a slight misdemeanour?

I really want an example setting of this boy, I feel he should be permanently excluded, be reported to the police and let this be an example to all other pupils this behaviour is not acceptable.

Am I over reacting, I don't feel I am but I'm so upset about it maybe I'm not thinking straight?

If I am reasonable how can I get the school to take this seriously?

Awrite Wed 20-Mar-19 21:22:44

Report to the police.

The school is not the police.

Tinyteatime Wed 20-Mar-19 21:24:46

I would also report it to the police.

Dramatical Wed 20-Mar-19 21:25:25

Your DD has been sexually assaulted and school want her to MEDIATE with the assailant?

Shocking lack of awareness from the school. Totally unacceptable.

CrabbyPatty Wed 20-Mar-19 21:26:41

Report to police and social services- that's my professional opinion.

Goposie Wed 20-Mar-19 21:26:53

This is sadly all too common. Police.

WeakAsIAm Wed 20-Mar-19 21:27:08

Ye my DD is ashamed of what happened and I'm so bloody angry I just want to make sure I'm not being irrational.

Gruzinkerbell1 Wed 20-Mar-19 21:28:03

Another one voting for police. Schools aren’t above the law.

maxinespalour Wed 20-Mar-19 21:28:44

I agree, ring the police asap. It's vital you show your dd how serious this situation is, as school clearly aren't doing so!

TeenTimesTwo Wed 20-Mar-19 21:29:18

Yes it is totally unacceptable.

BUT

I think whether how the school has acted is proportionate or not depends on what the boy did, what his prior behaviour was like, and whether he is remorseful.

If he has been out of normal lessons for 2 weeks then the school are taking it pretty seriously.

emilybrontescorsett Wed 20-Mar-19 21:30:14

Report it to the police.
It's not your dd who should be attending any mediation sessions.

burritofan Wed 20-Mar-19 21:30:18

MEDIATION? THEIR ISSUES? I'm sorry, I have no advice, but I am furious for her and you and this is utterly unfair and wrong. I'm sorry.

Mehaveit Wed 20-Mar-19 21:31:16

Sexual assault is a criminal offence so the police should be involved if the child is over the legal age of criminal responsibility (aged 10+ so this boy is)

NWQM Wed 20-Mar-19 21:32:04

I'd be speaking to the police too.

You've probalay already done this but I'd also be checking the school's behavioural policy & asking them to explain their decision.

Our local High School's says:-

The second is where there are exceptional circumstances and it is not appropriate to implement other strategies, and where it could be appropriate to permanently exclude a student for a first or ‘one off’ offence. These might include:
Serious actual or threatened violence against another student or a member of staff
Sexual abuse or assault
Possession of or Supplying an illegal substances
Carrying an offensive weapon*
Arson
The academy will consider police involvement for any of the above offences.

If yours says something similar then I'd want to know why they decided it wasn't a permeant exclusion and did they consider police involvement. They may decline to tell you about the actions they have taken in specifics but keep asking about your daughter - why wasn't your daughter supported to call the police etc - if that's the tack they take.

Hope you daughter is okay - all things considered. What on earth did they mean about 'their issues'?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Wed 20-Mar-19 21:33:19

Oh fuck that shit
Mediation ?

Report and I so
Sorry this happened and listen to the warriors on here

So angry angry

WeakAsIAm Wed 20-Mar-19 21:33:47

DD reports the boy has form for this, though nothing previously reported to school.

School report he is very remorseful and 'keen for this not to be spoken about by other pupils' I'll bet he bloody is. I genuinely don't see that as remorse but more I don't want to be in trouble.

No other girls have come forward as yet to report incidents, but I wonder if they would if they knew he was being dealt with?

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Wed 20-Mar-19 21:35:06

Report to police

Also contact safeguarding team at social care who knows what going on for that young person to have done this

School also have a duty to demonstrate how they are protecting all the children including your daughter and this other young person who has committed this offence.

Sounds like school are not following policies

sue51 Wed 20-Mar-19 21:35:15

Police now. The school's response is a disgrace.

ADHMeeee Wed 20-Mar-19 21:37:28

He's only sorry because he doesn't want people talking about what he did because he knows he will get a bad rep

SabineUndine Wed 20-Mar-19 21:37:35

Mediation? No chance. That would be like perpetuating the abuse, surely?

NicoAndTheNiners Wed 20-Mar-19 21:37:42

Has he admitted or or denied it? Because if he's admitted it I'm gobsmacked the school think mediation is appropriate. Ask the teachers (if they're women) would they be happy to mediate with someone who sexually assaulted them in the street? Or if the teachers are male ask them if they'd think it was appropriate of their wife was sexually assaulted by a colleague should she have to work with him still after a little chat?

Go to the police, if your dd agrees.

AlpacasAreLlamas Wed 20-Mar-19 21:37:49

Does the boy have rich parents by any chance?

NicoAndTheNiners Wed 20-Mar-19 21:38:48

And make sure your dd doesn't talk to other girls to try and get them to come forward. That could backfire, if she goes to the police they are best placed to know how to try and do this.

QOD Wed 20-Mar-19 21:39:00

SMe happened to a friends son at primary. The abuser was given a social worker and loads of support due to his abusive home background. Innocent friends child had to leave the school

Disgusting

QueenofallIsee Wed 20-Mar-19 21:39:52

Police, without question. I would be livid! The school might be glad of it, I understand that their guidelines for peer on peer abuse are bloody awful and many teachers find them so.

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