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AIBU to be furious with my boss?

(102 Posts)
Poptasmagorical Wed 20-Mar-19 18:27:50

I work in a role I’m not strictly qualified for, but for which I get paid a lot less than an experienced would be. The company I work for has made hundreds of redundancies and my job was a ‘promotion’ to a position they couldn’t afford to fill, and which I’m doing well and also undertaking training and education to help me further.
For some reason, when a new manager took over the area she took a dislike to me and has been on my case constantly. It’s like she’s always looking for a way to trip me up or catch me out, but I don’t know why. If they wanted to get rid of me they’d be able to put me back in my old role and I’d be happy enough.
So as not to drip feed... I don’t want to say exactly what the job is as it’s very outing, but it’s a middle level job. Usually you’d have a degree to do it, or a substantial amount of experience, but I’m getting paid a couple of thousand pounds a year less than I would if I had those.
The manager keeps turning up ‘for an unofficial chat’ with a member of the HR team and I really feel like I’m being harassed. They do things like telling me ‘we need to have a meeting tomorrow’ but then I won’t hear from them until right before the end of the day. I’ll spend all day worrying about what the problem might be, and then they’ll leave me hanging all day before just turning up and asking about things they’ve already asked about. They’re checking my internet usage (there was one occasion in which I looked at a website that they didn’t think was relevant to my job, but when I showed them what it related to there was no issue, and one where I checked my personal email during my lunch break). They’re not doing this to any of my colleagues and have even told me directly that they’re watching me, but they never answer why.
Anyway the AIBU:
A few days ago I left work at my usual time (I finish early one day a week - always have in the four years I’ve been there) and went home. Twenty or so minutes later I realised I’d left something in my car, which was parked on the roadside. I went out and as I opened my car I noticed my boss’s car parked further down the road. I didn’t acknowledge it, and just went back inside. My phone then rang and she asked where I was because I was supposed to be in a meeting with her. No meeting had been arranged, and it was outside my work hours. I told her I was at home and she said ‘I know, we’re sitting outside your house.’ I was quite stunned and when she said she’d speak to me at work the next day (which again didn’t happen until the end of the day) I just let her end the call.
I tried to raise the issue of her being outside my house but it got brushed over and I was so flummoxed by everything that I sort of didn’t notice until afterwards. But, should she have had access to my address? Phone number? Should she have been allowed to turn up at my house? She didn’t even knock at the door! My thoughts are that this is against GDPR and that it’s also harassment, but I don’t want to make my life even more unbearable at work by causing a fuss if she’s done nothing wrong.

Butterfly84 Thu 21-Mar-19 09:32:18

Wtaf? Following you to your house? Watching you?

Report this ASAP to whoever is her senior.

Ratbagcatbag Thu 21-Mar-19 09:30:06

Echoing everyone else that this is just so crazy.
Do you have a union at work at all? Can they help.
I hope you have w sensible senior HR person who can deal with this for you.

Goldenbear Thu 21-Mar-19 09:24:56

YANBU, you are right in thinking this most likely contravenes the principles of GDPR and misuse of personal data in this way does not comply with the Data Protection Act 2018 unless their other reasons your boss could give for justifying using this personal data i.e home address to turn up at your house.

Fluffyears Thu 21-Mar-19 09:22:31

I would definitely send the e-mail re confirming her sittingnoutside your house. Copy in HR manager and daft assistant and whoever is senior to your manager.

MRex Thu 21-Mar-19 09:21:42

It's a shame you didn't get a photo of her at your house. You've got good advice above about how to escalate this as a formal grievance. If one of my managers followed a team member home to harass them then I'd raise a disciplinary and be aiming for a gross misconduct dismissal, it's simply shocking.

I would also send an email to confirm the details of the conversation (but agree it with the HR Director before sending it) e.g.: "You called me at 5.30 on Tuesday to say that you expected to have a meeting with me even though it's outside my working hours and then said you were waiting by my house so you could see I was home. In future please schedule any meetings so I have them in my calendar, only set them up during my working hours and only schedule meetings with me in the office. I do not want you to follow me in my car, nor to come to my house."

JakeBallardswife Thu 21-Mar-19 09:12:37

Totally out of order, I do hope it gets sorted.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 Thu 21-Mar-19 09:12:14

Good advice on here, I hope ACAS help flowers

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 Thu 21-Mar-19 09:07:51

Utterly bonkers! I'd put everything you can in writing and try to speak to a different HR person

Nat6999 Thu 21-Mar-19 09:07:42

If she turns up outside your home, take time & date stamped photographs, I would either contact your union if you are in one or if you have legal cover on your house insurance, see an employment rights solicitor. If she is outside your house or following you regularly I would contact the police, she is stalking you.

blueshoes Thu 21-Mar-19 09:02:39

I don't think the breach of GDPR will yield big dividends for the OP. HR will admit they messed up this time, do more training of their staff and that will be the end of it. It is more the stalking and bullying that is the concern, but that is an HR issue and a difficult thing to prove and may require an employment tribunal, after exhausting the internal grievance process.

Hopefully this ends well with HR and senior management taking the OP's side and speaking to the OP's manager. Even in that best case scenario, I am not sure whether the company would go so far as to sack the manager. The OP will still end up working for the manager in a toxic relationship. Senior management will see that and it comes down to the OP or the manager. OP has her experience at the company in her favour having worked for it for so long but the manager is more senior and possibly harder to replace.

That is why the best thing at this stage is to document the evidence, escalate the process within the company, but be mindful that the manager may not actually get sacked. In that situation, the best result for the OP is to angle for a payout but plan for an exit.

theemmadilemma Thu 21-Mar-19 08:53:53

Christ that is batshit crazy.

HR would not give me my employees home address to send a card, I had to give them the card for them to post to the address. So I think they've probably broken some rules there.

blueshoes Thu 21-Mar-19 08:53:35

This will not end the way you want it to.

Bluetrews can you elaborate?

I agree your manager/HR person is outrageous and with the posters who advise to find another job as a priority, even whilst you try to resolve this internally. Senior HR and management may act reasonably or they may not and instead see it easiest to get rid of you. In that situation, you would want to angle for a payout to go quietly, which brings you to the need to find another job anyway.

ResistanceIsNecessary Thu 21-Mar-19 08:27:02

Hope you are OK this morning OP. Please do speak to the senior HR person - and follow up in writing so that there is an evidence trail. Tell her everything that you've said here - the constant questioning and going over old ground, the fact that you're being challenged on your working hours despite the fact they are contracted, the fact that you feel like you are being singled out and bullied with a view to getting you to resign...

This behaviour is absolutely appalling and both your manager and the HR assistant should be getting formal warnings for their conduct.

Gazelda Thu 21-Mar-19 08:24:22

Don't let this carry on. I hope you get some useful advice from ACAS, no one should put up with this Harassment ent and bullying.

ApolloandDaphne Thu 21-Mar-19 08:18:12

She is stalking you. That is completely out of order. Find someone higher up in HR to speak to about this. Put it all in writing and e mail it to them requesting a meeting to discuss it.

CuriousaboutSamphire Thu 21-Mar-19 08:17:00

Yeah! That's the crux of the matter Yabbers

OP is already fearful for her job and you want to sneer, to shame/bully her into giving more details, details she has said that she is, rightly or wrongly, fearful of giving!

Tilikum Thu 21-Mar-19 08:12:19

Wow, she sounds insane.

Good advice to go to the head of HR, but companies do tend to close ranks so I would look at getting another job if I were you.

Yabbers Thu 21-Mar-19 07:30:22

Why would your job be outing? Unless you are the Queen, safe to say many others will have the same job.

PepsiLola Wed 20-Mar-19 22:20:21

That's not right at all! Is there any management senior to her you can also bring in to a meeting?

SmallAndFarAway Wed 20-Mar-19 21:20:46

I second BrusselPout - go in very deliberately, with an earnest attitude of 'If there's any concerns I would of course like to address them' and lay out the evidence to let it speak for itself. If you position yourself as sensible and level-headed, it will hopefully be clear where the issue lies and that it's not with you...

Bluntness100 Wed 20-Mar-19 20:36:34

That's terrible and clearly unacceptable. She's trying to bully you out and is looking for something, you need to get this on paper with hr and speak to acas as you plan because if you don't, at some point she will succeed.

Frenchmontana Wed 20-Mar-19 20:34:41

This is absolutely awful

I wouldnt want the HR assistant anywhere near me either

ItsAFuckingPotato Wed 20-Mar-19 20:33:37

That sounds super stressful! Can't add to the good advice above but wishing you luck.

UnspiritualHome Wed 20-Mar-19 20:30:12

The GDPR think will get you nowhere, but you need to start keeping a paper trail. For instance, after she spoke to you after stalking you outside your house, send her an email saying something like "Dear boss, Just confirming our recent telephone conversation when you said that I had a meeting scheduled with you at 5.30 p.m. on (date) and that you knew I was at home because you were sitting outside my house." That way it's more difficult for her to deny it later if she is so minded.

SnuggleSnuggleBlanket Wed 20-Mar-19 20:26:04

HR Manager here.

HR have stepped way over the line. I agree with @BrusselPout. You need to document everything down now so it is fresh and coherent.

Then, request a meeting with a senior HR person. Mark the request as confidential and raise within the email to said senior HR person that you are considering raising a formal grievance again your line manager and the HR person for harassment. However prior to raising it formally, you’d like an opportunity to discuss it informally with them first.

See if they want to speak to you.

I would want to see you if that type of request came into me; as Brussel said, not all HR people are ‘good’ and the HRA might be being influenced by the manager (I’ve seen it happen) so the senior HR person, if good, will be all over it and demanding to know what’s going on.

I’d be tempted to write in the email about line manager coming to your house unannounced. I’m shocked at that tbh. It’s not appropriate at all.

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