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To change primary schools for this?

(97 Posts)
Litttlepinkegg Wed 20-Mar-19 06:32:21

Dd in year one at school 1
she’s had been doing ok, she is friendly with lots of people, school has good reputation.
But class sizes are very big (32 in dd’s Case) and very uneven she is one of 10 girls. Despite ofsted outstanding school is not doing great , results declining. Dd complains that it’s noisy in class and hard to concentrate.
The boys are all quite lively and some strong characters. My dd has had issues with a couple of the boys. This week it’s esculated and in the last 3 days one boy has hurt her over 8 times, grabbing her, trying to punch her face, pinning her down.
She was hysterical when I picked her up from after school club.
Each occasion I’ve had to contact teacher. Yesterday when I called she said she flagged up to head but had forgot to call me.
Dd says she likes it but can be very upset by the time I’m picking her up wanting change class, leave school.
I feel like she’s got a bad year where the teachers are struggling to have any control. Dh thinks this with always be the case as it was the same last year and obviously this is her year until she goes secondary.
Do I bite the bullet now?
I’ve have 2 schools to visit that have said they could fit her in

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Tue 26-Mar-19 18:52:16

That sounds great, I hope your DD enjoys her taster and play dates.

Litttlepinkegg Mon 01-Apr-19 12:07:25

Dd’s Taster afternoon is this week now.
Things at current school have been ok. The boy was put on a monitoring system and did not hurt dd last week.
Dh is mightly pissed off as on Friday the boy was given The headteachers award as he had behaved this week. According to dd it was because he hadn’t hit anyone all week. I’ve got mixed feelings about this I do think that rewarding his better behaviour was a good idea but not the headteachers award as it’s sending out a strange message to the other children I think.

Litttlepinkegg Wed 03-Apr-19 22:02:51


Youngandfree Wed 03-Apr-19 22:12:19

I don’t think the fact that they are boys is the reason the teachers are struggling 🤨. Otherwise “all boys” schools would just be utter chaos constantly (having worked in one i know that is not true), it’s a mix of behaviour, personality, teaching experience (or possible lack of). Not all boys are boisterous, just like not all girls are quiet and well behaved. Having also worked in an all girls school, the dynamics can be similar either way 🤷‍♀️. But to answer your question; if you feel it is best for your daughter and she would like to..then yes move her. However, it is an awkward time to join a new class in a new school.

bellinisurge Thu 04-Apr-19 05:59:41

It's not a "boys" thing it's a "poorly handled by the school " thing.

Litttlepinkegg Thu 04-Apr-19 10:20:27

free awkward time as it’s coming to end of school year would you wait until after summer hols or do you mean in general as dd is 6 now?
Agree it’s not a boy thing I think it’s a too many kids not enough staff thing sadly.

ForgivenessIsDivine Thu 04-Apr-19 10:47:17

Interesting read.. .. Don't underestimate the impact of the boy / girl ratio and it's impact on your daughter. I know not all boys are boisterous and naughty and up until 2 years ago, girls were outperforming boys at A level. However, boys still significantly outnumber girls in their performance and participation in Maths and physics which in many cases lead to higher paid jobs, whereas girls end up in caring professions which pay less. I read some research on classroom behaviours and their impact on the participation of girls in STEM subjects, recently which showed that girls were more likely to be asked to sit with disruptive boys and help them to concentrate or help them with their work. This rarely happens to the quiet studious boys who instead are left on the table with the other quiet studious boys who then progress at pace together. Boys are given more support when they struggle to read than girls are when they struggle with maths. Those girls who overcome all the obstacles and finally make it into the higher maths and science classes on average outperform the boys but they are in the minority. We live in a world where money and power are held by men and in order to give your daughter the best possible chance in life, you are right to move her. In 20 years time, there will still be an imbalance in the number of women in highly paid positions and there will still be a gender pay gap.

Litttlepinkegg Thu 04-Apr-19 10:54:33

STEM subjects, recently which showed that girls were more likely to be asked to sit with disruptive boys and help them to concentrate or help them with their work exactly what’s been happening with her reading/phonics partners which dd has asked me to speak to teacher about a couple of months ago and teacher said they’d put dd with certain s boys as she’s a sensible pupil

ForgivenessIsDivine Thu 04-Apr-19 11:14:49

This results in isolating your daughter from the other pupils in her class and prevents her from forming relationships that are beneficial to her.

The relationship between the teacher and your daughter is also impacted. Your daughter is praised by the teacher for being sensible and a good role model and is rewarded (by attention) for that behave our when in fact, she might benefit more by being allowed to explore her own personality, finish the worksheet first, concentrate on her own enjoyment and her own work.

These expectations are rarely put on the studious quiet boys, partly because tehy are at risk of being bullied by the boisterous ones.

Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 10:47:45

Thanks all.
On paper new school much better option smaller class sizes, good facilities, much better results.
Dh loved it.
I took dd for a visit yesterday and I think we both fell in love with it - the children were so friendly and all staff lovely. Classes looked interesting and all the children so engaged. My dd came out and said can I come back tomorrow please!
Anyway speaking to council today but new school are happy to approve a place for her from Easter and always add my toddler ds to their preschool too smile

ForgivenessIsDivine Fri 05-Apr-19 12:58:09

That sounds really positive.

Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 13:02:25

Thank you Divine feel nervous about the transition but hoping dd will settle in ok and think by starting before summer hols that give us the chance to set up play dates with new classmates and hopefully encourage those friendships to grow.
All a bit nerve wracking but I’m as sure as I can be that this would be a sensible move and give dd a better environment to learn in 🤞

Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 17:29:34

It’s done - application for transfer in and told her current school. Eeeeeek

whatsleep Fri 05-Apr-19 17:45:03

Sounds like you’ve made the right decision. If your daughter is happy at school she will thrive. Starting after Easter will give her time to find her feet and make friends rather than worrying about it through the long summer holiday. Best of luck to you all flowers

NorthernBirdAtHeart Fri 05-Apr-19 17:58:39

I’ve just read the whole thread, well done OP. If I was in your shoes I’d move her in a heartbeat.

Frazzled2207 Fri 05-Apr-19 18:37:35

Brilliant. This sounds like the right decision. Best of luck to your dd after the holidays.

Litttlepinkegg Fri 05-Apr-19 19:10:37

Thank you all I feel nervous about alll the changes but certain that I’ve weighed up all the information I can as well as my gut instinct.

PotteryLady Fri 05-Apr-19 19:14:10

I was in your shoes when my daughter was in Y1. Class of 12 4 girls 8 boys then 1 girl left. The girls were placed with the boys who were unruly and I watched my daughter change over night. School were useless so I moved her at Easter and it was the best thing I did. She was the same as your daughter, went for a transition morning and just wanted to stay and not go back to her other school. Don't worry it's for the best.

DobbysLeftSock Fri 05-Apr-19 19:47:06

Definitely think you've done the right thing OP. You do sometimes just get shit year groups (still happens at secondary) and it sounds as though there's been this and some poor teaching and management going on.

Fingers crossed for a new start and a much happier dd!

Girlicorne Fri 05-Apr-19 21:13:37

I m surprised at the number of people shocked at the class size. my two are at state primary in the Midlands, ofsted good not rural but not inner city either. we have always been happy with the school and both are doing well. DS has 34 in his yr 4 class, DD has 30 (yr 6) just one teacher, no TAs any more and I think given the current state of education funding this is set to get even worse. This is standard for class sizes around here as well it's not just their school.

Litttlepinkegg Sat 06-Apr-19 09:58:03

Told the school mums this morning. They’ve been very nice. This week be dd’s Last week at current school so wanted to let them know before we disappear. Lots to sort out now need to collect dd’s Work from school, new uniforms, hopefully play dates before she starts too xx

Acis Sat 06-Apr-19 10:26:35

My son’s in a yr q1 class like this, they seem to have put all of the loud, difficult, boisterous boys (my son being one of them) in the head of year’s class

A lot of schools seem to do this. DSis is a head of year and always gets allocated the most difficult class in the year group. She doesn't mind, because she has no problems with keeping discipline, but what concerns her is that the nature of being HoY means that she regularly has to be out of class attending meetings, monitoring other teachers etc. She says they are noticeably more disruptive after they have been with another teacher.

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