Advanced search ask if anyone's taken a massive risk & left a job they hate to save their sanity & to avoid getting ill!?!

(55 Posts)
wolfgirl11 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:22:18

Hello MN massive,

I'm in a pretty bad way at the moment.

Can't give too much away but I'm in a highly stressful job in a very busy environment working with really vulnerable adults.
I can feel that the exhaustion is impacting my mental health and physical health.
I am constantly tired out. Support at work from managers is very poor.

I'm a single mum & renting a house in an expensive city. I have no support from family or my children's dad. Been in this situation for 6 years. I dream of being a writer and have been published in the past year (small thing but big deal to me!)
I don't have the energy to write in the evenings but have so many ideas and notes everywhere!

I have about £5,000 in savings.

I just think life is too short to keep working in this way & really worried I'll become unwell.

Any risk takers out there who have no regrets about taking a risk? Any advice?
I'm feeling so trapped and so sad.

Thanks for reading 🙏🏽

HoneysuckIejasmine Tue 19-Mar-19 22:25:02

Yes, I quit my job with nothing to go to because it was causing physical health issues. However, I was married and had no kids at the time so the risk was much lower.

RhiWrites Tue 19-Mar-19 22:27:37

I didn’t hate my job but it was eating my life so I took a risk and a career break. I don’t regret it. It changed my life.

But I had a bigger safety net than you do. And although I’m also a writer I didn’t rely on that producing enough income for me - which is just as well because at the moment it isn’t.

So I would say look for other work rather than just jumping into the void. But change is good and taking a risk got me what I wanted. (Better physical and mental health.)

whatsnewchoochoo Tue 19-Mar-19 22:28:57

Both my mum and husband did this. But husband could walk into locum work and mum was unwell so got disability pay until she could return to work.

Honestly? Can you find another job instead - your savings will be eaten up with no income.

Chocolate50 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:31:03

You could go part time or leave & get a part time job doing something less stressful & then you'd have more time for writing.
If you carry on you might end up becoming so sick that your GP has to sign you off & you'll have no choice.
Might be worth working out what you need to get by & do less - more life less stressed work!

fruityb Tue 19-Mar-19 22:31:32

I’m leaving my current school to go to another after ten years. I cannot cope with the shitty management and the lack of support so I’m offski. Im terrified but I’m excited. I love my colleagues but the people in charge need their arses kicking and if I’m sworn at one more time I am flouncing out of there tout le Monde as Del Boy would say!

Finfintytint Tue 19-Mar-19 22:32:13

Yes. Left good job of 20 + years (and DH also) to move across country with no jobs to go to. Adult DS had left home however and we could afford to cash buy property so be very careful.

Hedgehogparty Tue 19-Mar-19 22:34:50

I’ve left a job I hated as I felt it was making me ill, but had savings.
Realistically, can you afford to do this?

pisspawpatrol Tue 19-Mar-19 22:35:47

Yes, left my job two years ago. DH has an excellent job though and was happy to financially support me whilst I got back on my feet after a breakdown.

It's been great for my mental health, but i'm finding it a bitch to get back into work now i'm better. Two years out hasn't been great for my CV.

Sillybilly1234 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:36:44

My husband asked me to hand my notice in a few years ago.

He said I was so unhappy that he preferred that we had less but that I was happy.

He was right.

I was lucky and managed to get a job a week later.

Good luck.

Cornishclio Tue 19-Mar-19 22:38:05

Yes, I left a stressful job, retrained and did something else but I was married so we had an income coming in. I think I would look for something else if I were you. I get that writing is a dream of yours but I think you are being a bit unrealistic to think you will make a living out of it straight away. It is good you have been published but in monetary terms how much did you get? Enough to live off if you were doing it full time?

lisasimpsonssaxophone Tue 19-Mar-19 22:39:07

I saved up ten grand and used it to completely retrain in a much lower-paid industry because my job was destroying my soul.

No regrets whatsoever, even though I still have debts to pay off from my course and earn half what I used to. I absolutely love my job and wouldn’t go back to my old one for anything.

I didn’t have kids though, but still... if you have some savings to fall back on then I say go for it!

frugalkitty Tue 19-Mar-19 22:40:25

I did, I was a TA working in an increasingly toxic environment made tricky as it was our kids school. Got to a point where DH said 'we don't need the money, I want my wife back, just leave'. However, he earns good money so we could afford for me to leave, not too sure what I'd have done otherwise, apart from find a job to go to before I left. Life is definitely too short to be in a job that is having a detrimental effect on your health.....good luck flowers

Springisallaround Tue 19-Mar-19 22:43:17

I absolutely do think you should change jobs and preferably move to a cheaper area so you don't have to work long hours. Realistically, it is very difficult, even for published writers, to make a whole salary that way- there may be a handful who do, but I wouldn't think £5000 would get you very far into that career for now- but if you had a less demanding job, then it would free up time for the writing which would be fab. So- this is a 'go for it' with a caveat!

Luglio Tue 19-Mar-19 22:43:51

Jump, and the net will appear.

wolfgirl11 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:44:20

Thanks for all your replies!
I wasn't very clear.
Plan is to finish writing something over a couple of months while doing some temping work or something that's stress-free & then get another less stressful job (hope I would be able to!)
I just need to take a break. I'm disappearing.... & becoming someone who is short-fused and miserable.

nanny2012nanny Tue 19-Mar-19 22:45:17

I’ve sent you a message

mamalovebird Tue 19-Mar-19 22:45:43

What does £5000 buy you? How long will it let you live without work?
I've always gone with having 6 months salary as a safety net. Gives you some breathing space. All depends on what you need to keep everything going and if you could work part time to supplement your savings to make them last longer.

Go for your dream. Life is short. Just make sure you can cover your bases.

Mincingfuckdragon Tue 19-Mar-19 22:45:52

I did, best thing I have ever done even though I miss my former colleagues. 12 years in a really stressful job, was physically very run down and kept getting sick. Left, started my own business, lost nearly 60 pounds, and have a new lease on life. I have the mental energy now to have good ideas, and am much better at self care. It was scary, but I'm so glad I did it.

BringOnTheScience Tue 19-Mar-19 22:47:44

Hell yeah!!! I quit teaching with nothing to go to. Things were Bad. With hindsight, I realise that they were even worse than I realised.

Admittedly, I had a DH with a stable job & we had savings. I did land on my feet with the perfect job coming up quickly and I nailed the interview.

No job is worth making yourself ill. Your kids need you.

Could you do another job, any job, to just cover the bills, while you write?

mooncuplanding Tue 19-Mar-19 22:49:27

If you have work-related stress, you can get time off to recoup.

I would recommend you doing this as making such big decisions when your emotions are high is not usually wise.

Go and see HR / OH and report your symptoms (irritability, sleep, exhaustion are just some of the things that you have mentioned that are all symptoms of stress). Your organisation has a responsibility to you if they are causing the stress.

wolfgirl11 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:50:49

Thanks nanny2012nanny
Have no idea how to check messages on here?
Anyone? I'm on an iPhone 🤔

thedisorganisedmum Tue 19-Mar-19 22:51:56

yes, but before I had kids. I wouldn't do it now. The financial insecurity would stress me a lot more than the worst job could do.

I did look for jobs instead, took as many sickies I needed for interviews, and spent all my holiday allowance. Having kids completely knocked down the risk-taker side of me! Not sure it's always a good thing

Riv Tue 19-Mar-19 22:52:58

My DH walked out of his stressful after 30 years. No savings or benefits. And at an age that no one wants to give you a job no matter how well qualified. But I had a reasonable wage and a steady job. The DCs were in 6th form and first year at university. It was tough financially but so worth it. He has never had a long term or well paid job since (mainly part time and minimum wage)
Three months after he walked out I began to see a shadow of the man I married. Two years later and he was all he had been and more. I dread to think how awful it was for him or what would have happened if he had continued in that role.
Good luck op.

DonPablo Tue 19-Mar-19 22:57:14

When I graduated, we were told that we weren't as clever as we thought. Because the cleverest people find some tho g that they live to do and then find someone to pay them to do it. 25 years later I can finally see the wisdom in that weird pep talk. 40-60 hours a well, every week is a huge amount of waking hours to spend somewhere. So make sure you want to be there. Easier said than done, but I reckon there's truth in it.

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