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To be upset with DS cello teacher

(177 Posts)
DesperatelySeekingSu Tue 19-Mar-19 21:49:49

I’ve found out that the other children in my sons cello lesson have been entered for their grade 1 but not DS9.

They are all at the same level and started at the same time.

I contacted the cello teacher to ask why and she was very blunt and I feel insensitive. She said she decided not to enter him as she doesn’t feel he works hard enough or takes his lessons seriously!

She also said he can’t play in tune and maybe should try guitar or percussion! I believe his scales and pieces are up to scratch and feel he has been singled out.

I don’t agree or feel satisfied with this response, should I contact her employers to ask for further investigation?

worldsbestprocrastinator Tue 19-Mar-19 21:52:58

What feedback have you had before now? Is this the first you've heard about there being a problem?

altiara Tue 19-Mar-19 21:54:42

Bloody hell, I’d be satisfied with that response!

Crockof Tue 19-Mar-19 21:54:49

Face up to it. She isn't being mean or singling out your child just being honest. He isn't up to the grade

DesperatelySeekingSu Tue 19-Mar-19 21:54:57

Yes this is the first time I’m aware of a problem

BlueSuffragette Tue 19-Mar-19 21:55:00

Have you asked your son if he enjoys learning the cello? Maybe he does mess about or not concentrate in class. If she feels hes not up to it then why would you want to enter him for the exam? If he sat it and failed then what? Maybe ask your son what he'd really like to do instead.

Smoggle Tue 19-Mar-19 21:55:16

Why would she lie?

Crunchymum Tue 19-Mar-19 21:55:57

What a bourgeoisie non issue.

He is just crap at the Cello !!!!

LIZS Tue 19-Mar-19 21:56:22

Maybe he does mess about or lacks focus during lessons. Does he practice at home? Are the lessons at school or through a music service?

Littlefish Tue 19-Mar-19 21:56:28

Do you want her to lie and say that he's great?

If she doesn't think he's up to grade 1 standard, then it's pointless him taking the exam.

Whilst you might want her to put it more sensitively, you should listen to her feedback. What do you think is wrong with what she said to you? The way she said it, or the actual information.

String instruments are challenging to learn, and to be successful, you really need to be able to hear when you are playing sharp or flat. It sounds like your ds might do better on an instrument which doesn't require this skill.

HoneysuckIejasmine Tue 19-Mar-19 21:56:43

If she doesn't think he'll pass, which clearly is the case, there's no point entering him. What does your son say?

MamaWeasel Tue 19-Mar-19 21:56:55

Perhaps he just isn't very good at it?

DesperatelySeekingSu Tue 19-Mar-19 21:57:11

I have asked my son and he enjoys lessons and practises at home.

I think maybe she just doesn’t like him.

He sounds good and knows his scales

Boyskeepswinging Tue 19-Mar-19 21:57:12

When he practises at home does it sound out of tune?

DesperatelySeekingSu Tue 19-Mar-19 21:58:54

He’s in tune and I know he’s ready for his exam

howabout Tue 19-Mar-19 21:59:53

No you should appreciate her honesty.

If your DS starts applying himself and it clicks into place then there is nothing to stop him catching up later. Grades do not have to be done sequentially. Worth asking him how he feels about his lessons. I am a string player and not really a fan of group lessons for this age as progress can be so variable depending on home support, pupil commitment, natural aptitude etc.

Jamhandprints Tue 19-Mar-19 22:00:01

Oh dear, maybe cello is not for him. Did he want to do it or did you want him to? It is hard to accept that our children don't have the talents or abilities we want them to.

blue25 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:00:02

She's being honest. What's the problem?

He obviously doesn't really engage or have a particular talent in cello, so perhaps spend your money elsewhere for him.

I think it's best for teachers to be upfront about these things rather than worry about offending parents.

peachgreen Tue 19-Mar-19 22:00:28

His cello teacher obviously doesn't think he's ready for his exam and I suspect she might be better-placed to judge...

Boyskeepswinging Tue 19-Mar-19 22:00:29

If you're that confident why don't you just enter him for the exam yourself?

Wolfiefan Tue 19-Mar-19 22:00:47

Why aren’t you teaching him the cello then? confused
A teacher wouldn’t refuse to put forward a child who was clearly capable of passing. I wonder if he’s messing about in lessons and not showing what he can actually do.

LimaLemur Tue 19-Mar-19 22:01:36

Hi OP, ny feeling is that your DS’s teacher’s reply could certainly have been phrased in a kinder and more understanding way.

I think she is being very honest and upfront in her answer, which actually is quite helpful in the long run for you and your DS as it may mean he could become interested in an instrument that he enjoys more or in one that’s better suited to him (or that he becomes interested in totally different activities, outside of music, like sport, for example).

Also, she is saving you the cost of paying for a music exam that your DS may not pass (according to her). She’s not doing herself any favours through commenting on her DS’s progress, as she risks losing him as a student and therefore getting less income.

DesperatelySeekingSu Tue 19-Mar-19 22:01:52

The problem is I completely disagree with her opinion!

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule Tue 19-Mar-19 22:01:52

If she's worth her salt as a music teacher, she won't enter someone into an exam if they're not ready for it. It'd be a bad reflection on her as a teacher if he fails, not to mention it would cost you unnecessary exam fees. Also, music exams are really hard - they can be a daunting experience and if a child isn't taking their lessons seriously, then they're unlikely to take exam prep seriously.

It sounds like she's doing the right thing professionally, why would you want to force your son through an exam he's not ready for?

Starlight456 Tue 19-Mar-19 22:01:59

Tbh . You sound like you can’t here any criticism of your Ds.

I would assume he isn’t up to the standard of the others .

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