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AIBU?

AIBU to get very annoyed by Santander Bank?

81 replies

NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 19:00

I continue to get mail from Santander for my abusive ex-partner, even though he moved out 12 years ago and has been deceased for 2 years. He owed them money, he owed everyone money. I had no idea that he owed them money until he moved out 12 years ago, when I started getting all his post.

When he was still alive I kept telling Santander he didn't live at my address, but they told me he needed to contact them, which he probably never bothered to do, he told me he had, but probably lied to me about this.

I have never had a bank account or any association with Santander myself. I have told Santander repeatedly that my ex hasn't lived here for 12 years and he is dead. I contact them whenever I get mail from them, phone them and send most of the mail back, but they say they can't promise me they won't stop sending mail to my address. They basically said they don't believe he is dead so will keep sending me his post.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous way to run a business and to feel annoyed about this? What can I do to stop getting the post of a dead man sent to my address indefinitely? I have already lodged 2 complaints with them, which seems to have been a complete waste of time as nothing has been done.

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mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 19/03/2019 19:13

Can you apply for a copy of his death certificate (you will have to pay a fee, unfortunately) and send it to them recorded delivery? Here is how to get one:

www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate

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GPatz · 19/03/2019 19:16

Tell them you are just going to bin the letters in the future and it's their money they are wasting.

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ny20005 · 19/03/2019 19:18

They can't take your word for it so send them a copy of his death certificate - problem solved

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Malbecfan · 19/03/2019 19:19

Santander's head office is useless. However, my local branch is great.

In your position, I would go to the local branch and ask in a VERY LOUD VOICE what I needed to do to get it through to them that this person had been dead for 2 years. Pick a time when they are quite busy. I guarantee they will sort it out (but I am a blunt northerner in SW England and nobody knows what to do!!!)

I ended up having my account frozen by them because I wanted to pay my roofers by bank transfer but couldn't get their OTP code because there is no mobile phone signal whatsoever at my house. Head Office could not get their collective heads around this, but the local branch was well-aware of the crap phone signal. They arranged for me to come in on the following day at the end of trading and kept the manager and his deputy there after hours until all the transactions had gone through. Even they had trouble with their Head Office over it, but it all worked.

Banks hate people complaining loudly and in public. You have nothing to lose, so go for it

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caughtinanet · 19/03/2019 19:24

Shouting that someone is dead is unlikely to solve the problem however busy the branch is.

Large organisations don't simply believe things because they are said in a loud voice, get the death certficate, go to a branch and ask them to help you sort it out.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 19:25

Thanks. I don't think I should have to pay to get his death certificate when they could do this. Why should I waste more of my time and waste my money on this. I don't want to waste £15 on this. This really has nothing to do with me. I've told them what I know, it's up to them to follow it up. Why would I lie, it's insulting of them to just assume I am lying. I think Santander are a horrible company and I would never, ever bank with them.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 19:26

I think I will go into the branch. Thanks. I'm quite good at complaining loudly.

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TableforJane · 19/03/2019 19:28

Not your problem, OP. Just bin the letters and don’t let it stress you out.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 19:29

Thanks Jane. I do get easily stressed. I've had a hard life.

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GummyGoddess · 19/03/2019 19:54

Santander are rubbish, when I worked in a call centre for a time we had so many people calling and complaining about them even though they weren't anything to do with the company I worked for!

I was going to suggest you raise a complaint about being harassed by them, but if you get easily stressed perhaps the best course of action is to send one final email saying that he is dead, and you will be binning all mail in future.

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PettyContractor · 19/03/2019 20:04

I get American Express statements for the previous owner of my house. I have lived here for 21 years. I phoned them a couple of weeks ago and they said they would put a block on using the address.

Yesterday I got a letter for him inviting to him to send bank details to get the £50 the account is in credit. Well at least it shows they are trying to do something, I suppose.

Today I got another statement.

I wonder if I forward all the letters back to them, without a stamp, will they have to pay the postage to receive them? If so, I think I may have to start sending them all back.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:05

Thanks. I suppose I've been a bit worried that they could ask me to pay his debt back. He owed them over £1,200. But, if they did that then I should be able to ask them for the £28,000 he owed me.

Santander are rubbish. Bunch of idiots.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:08

Petty - send all the post them. I hope they have to pay for it.

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CheekyChappy710 · 19/03/2019 20:13

@Malbecfan I can assure you we don't hate people coming in complaining. What we hate is dick heads coming up shouting and generally being massive twats so we do our best to shut them up. There is no need to be rude, in our branch if you came in shouting and being that offensive you'd be escorted out and banned. A complaint or just any dealing with people in banks should be done respectfully as with anything else in life.

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CheekyChappy710 · 19/03/2019 20:14

Oh and I don't work for Santander but have worked in retail banking for years for 2 other banks. I've always treated people respectfully and those that come in and talk like a normal polite adult will get a lot more help and support than those that come in shouting and being offensive and trying to make a scene.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:22

I agree there is no need to be rude.

I think sending me the post of a dead man, after I have repeatedly asked them not to, is rude. They have told me they will keep on doing it, this is also rude. They told me they don't believe me that he is dead, this is also rude. I don't think Santander are in any way respectful. I will tell them this when I go into the branch. I won't shout, but I will make sure a few other customers hear me.

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adaline · 19/03/2019 20:24

But surely you understand they can't just believe you. Otherwise everyone who has debt could get someone to say they're dead!

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:27

It's up to them to investigate then. The onus is not on me.

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:30

I don't know anyone that would lie on someone else behalf, basically faking a death, so that person can get out of paying £1,200 back. It's not exactly plausible. Anyway, they can just check that he's dead and stop bothering me. It's got nothing to do with me.

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CheekyChappy710 · 19/03/2019 20:35

It is rude but that is not the fault of the person in the branch. Honestly you'll look like a massive twat if you go sounding off in the branch. Go in and calmly explain and say you need it resolving. I'm not sure why youd think getting a "few other customers" to hear you would help, I promise you none of them will give a single fuck about your issue and will just think "God shes loud!" Just be polite. Personally I'd just bin the letters if you're not prepared to get a death cert. Just bin and ignore. They can't ask you to pay it and they won't so just ignore.

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CheekyChappy710 · 19/03/2019 20:37

And it is completely plausible, people lie terribly every day to try and get out of paying debt (we see it in branch and you only have to watch 1 episode of any kind of bailiff programme) because its £1200 probably with more than 1 bank so could total thousands of pounds.

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Princessmushroom · 19/03/2019 20:38

When Santander were A&L my mum had opened a new account that Martin Lewis recommended. She deposited £1 in it then died the week later.

We went to A&L to tell them, and in person they told my dad and me that she had to be there in person to tell them she died.

I will NOT bank with Santander or have anything to do with them

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:40

It's not the fault of the cashiers, but it is the fault of the bank. I'm not going to shout, just talk loudly. I don't care if people think I'm loud. Anyway, I might not bother, I was just taking on the advice of another poster and thinking it might be a way to stop them sending me the post of a dead man for the rest of my life.

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Ohgodtheresaspider · 19/03/2019 20:41

YABU ofcourse they need a death certificate, like a previous poster suggested people would pretend to be dead to get out of debt. They can’t just believe your say so! Can’t you forward the letters on to his next of kin for them to deal with?

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NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 20:42

Princessmushroom - that is ridiculous. I understand how frustrating and insensitive that is.

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