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Am I over reacting here ?

(21 Posts)
bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:37:34

Had loads of issues with my partners ex-it almost split us up. He would divide his week up between us. I’ve no issue with staying friends with exes but this was way too much. They’d have cooking sessions together, days out , he’d take her dancing . I often think I shouldn’t even be with him. He does concede she’s not a nice person and he made some bad choices .Anyway she moved away -all okay he says he loves me, wants a future with me - tho the hurt that was caused ain’t going away over night . Okay-i love dancing -i was pretty good but I suffered a stroke which affected my ability to dance and set me back to say the least. The ex is great dancer which he rammed down my throat and I ended up with a huge complex and a big knock to my confidence about not being “good enough” on the dance floor. Fast forward to now -she’s in a big dance contest soon and he keeps liking on Facebook the videos of her dancing . Given the history and the difficulties Ive faced after my stroke -am I over reacting to feel bloody hurt by this or is he being an insensitive shit?

pelirocco123 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:43:09

Your partners ex didnt almost split you up , it was your partners actions that did that

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:46:56

He says he’s sorry but he wants us to move forward -but it’s bloody hard

PinkCrayon Tue 19-Mar-19 15:48:49

It doesnt sound like he makes you feel very good.
You need to higher your standards he is no good for you.

isabellerossignol Tue 19-Mar-19 15:49:48

It doesn't sound like an ex. It sounds like he has two girlfriends. Sorry.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Tue 19-Mar-19 15:52:27

You might need to rewind on this one a bit - are/were they a professional competitive dance couple?

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:53:31

No they weren’t a pro couple just went to classes together like we do now. She’s also got a new partner

LudoFriend Tue 19-Mar-19 15:54:31

Honestly, this doesn't sound like a healthy or happy relationship. The way he treats you isn't okay. I'm disabled and my partner has never made me feel bad because of it. The fact that he did that to you is incredibly unfair.
I don't want to say LTB, but are you happy? Is this something you can see getting better? Do you think he cares for you the same as you do him? You do need to think about yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Hersheys Tue 19-Mar-19 15:55:00

How old are you op?

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:56:01

He is incredibly kind -he says he didnt realise how badly the stroke had affected me

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:59:01

I’m my late 40s 🙄

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 16:01:42

I think he does care -I just he’s bloody stupid sometimes but that still doesn’t quite cover it

Shoxfordian Tue 19-Mar-19 16:02:59

He hasn't moved on from his ex at all. You can do better than a part time boyfriend op.

Sparklesocks Tue 19-Mar-19 16:08:21

You deserve someone who makes you feel good, and doesn't split all his time with someone else.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 19-Mar-19 16:10:33

Why did they split up?

Agree that he should back off massively from her (if not totally); it's really not fair on you.

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 16:14:45

He doesn’t split his time now. Never sees her. They split up cos she went off with someone else

SuziQ10 Tue 19-Mar-19 17:45:07

Sounds like he still has feelings for her.
Spending all that time with her.

Spiritinabody Tue 19-Mar-19 18:03:26

So, he thinks his ex isn't a nice person but during your relationship he would split his time between you and her. He no longer sees her but is in social media 'liking' her FB videos.

He hasn't moved on properly from her. Surely most people would want a clean break from an ex who isn't nice? Is he stalking her?

bagpuss90 Tue 19-Mar-19 18:12:36

No he really is not stalking her 100% not

Scorpvenus1 Fri 22-Mar-19 17:06:10

Oh wow

Ok am I being unreasonable to expect relations should not be this way, end of the day when normal people split up that’s it, no days out, no cookery classes and all that crap. I don’t think this is right, co parenting with a ex and getting along for kids is one thing this is in no way the same what so ever. Why are so many women letting men get away with pulling this lamented crap these days. If she is such a bad person then why does he choose to hang out, I call bu11shit on this one im afraid.

And the way hes bigging her up backs that up. Get rid my lovely and find a decent man, there is some out there, this isnt one of them. Who cares if she was a really good dancer, then tell his to go quickstep back to her then lol. Maybe admit an ex of yours had a really nice penis and see how he likes those apples lol

crimsonlake Fri 22-Mar-19 17:12:39

He only stopped seeing her because she moved away, that tells you all really. Do you really need a man in your life so much that you would put up with that nonsense.

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