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to not give my children desert for not eating thier veg?

(49 Posts)
Adam3322 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:35:11

Have always had an issue getting my 3 to eat veg. ( 7, 5 and 3 yo) lately i have taken the attitude of no veg no cakes etc. Is this too harsh? Any tips on getting those veg in them would be more than welcome

BarbarianMum Tue 19-Mar-19 14:41:52

I wouldn't personally directly equate the two ie no veg= no pudding but clealy if you can't manage your main course you dont need dessert.

My secret to getting them to eat more veg was to make sure veg cobsituted about 50% of what they were offered - as part of the main course and served with it. They didn't have to eat it but if they didnt that was it til the next meal. (It helped that I had a deep seated conviction that they wouldnt starve themselves to death).

Other than that, im a great fan of stealth begetables - pureed and hidden in tomato sauces, meat pies, casseroles etc.

ltk Tue 19-Mar-19 14:42:28

Make sure the veg are appealing - I love veg of all kinds but my MIL boils the bejeezus out of them and I can't eat them at hers.

Otherwise, a good rule is: finish your tea or no dessert. That assumes portion sizes are appropriate or child-chosen. Let them choose a v small amount of veg and work from there.

Ask them to rate/rank veg and how it's cooked. They make a list of favs.

Sexnotgender Tue 19-Mar-19 14:44:01

I always said if you’re not hungry enough to eat your main meal then you’re obviously not hungry for dessert.

Quartz2208 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:44:26

Not harsh per se but you are placing a value on them as it could backfire. So would avoid it

Have you tried raw mine love cucumber raw carrot fresh peas and raw pepper not cooked. And others such as broccoli steamed so just cooked through. They definitely prefer crunchy

WFTisgoingoninmyhead Tue 19-Mar-19 14:45:58

The secret to getting your DC to eat their dinner. STOP OFFERING DESERTS FULLSTOP, just don’t make a habit of it.

bridgetreilly Tue 19-Mar-19 14:46:17

Yes, perfectly reasonable. Make sure not to give them enormous portions of things they don't like, but in general, no one needs dessert and everyone needs vegetables.

ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere Tue 19-Mar-19 14:46:35


ILiveInSalemsLot Tue 19-Mar-19 14:49:14

I agree with making veg appealing.
Mine don’t like cooked carrots but will eat raw carrots cut into batons.
I always put veg or salad on their plate and rave on about what unique vitamins they have that other food doesn’t.
I serve baby corn and sugar snap peas raw as snacks.
I expect them to try it but I don’t punish them if they don’t.
I’m also a fan of hiding veg in food. Pasta and pizza sauce always has grated carrot and courgette in it.
Meatballs and burgers have grated sweet potato and blended chick peas in it.

Pretamum Tue 19-Mar-19 14:50:25

What @Sexnotgender said! My little one always tries it on at teatime, and I always say if he's too full to finish his broccoli/peas/carrots etc then he can't have any room for pudding. Sometimes pudding is just grapes or a yoghurt, but my reasoning still stands regardless of whether it's fruit or ice cream after. He usually manages to eat more veggies after this conversation.

NorthernRunner Tue 19-Mar-19 14:51:41

I think I must be the harsh one as I don’t do desserts in my house 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would do as PP suggested and make sure 50% of the plate is veg, if the children do not eat it, they have nothing but water until next meal.

I would also encourage them to get involved in cooking and shopping, so they feel they have a choice in their meals. Variety is key. Not the same boiled broccoli with every meal if you know what I mean.
Finally talk about why veg are important. Tell children why we need these nutrients and try not make it seem like a punishment to eat vegetables.

lunicorn Tue 19-Mar-19 14:54:07

If they are used to this and don't have any additional needs/anxieties it's ok in my mind.
My daughter has sensory issues around d food and only eats peas! She would go without pudding every time because there's not a chance she's eating veg.

Gruffin Tue 19-Mar-19 14:54:19

Just give them pudding once a week, on the weekend maybe as something to look forward too. Giving it everyday is over the top.

Quartz2208 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:55:58

How are you cooking and serving - it’s its boiled dark green broccoli of course they are not eating it. Over cooked boiled veg not only don’t taste nice but you are wasting nutrients- the whole point of eating them

troubleswillbeoutofsight Tue 19-Mar-19 15:02:39

As a child I hated most vegetables. My mother never ever forced us to eat anything even though this was the 60s and 70s. She would cook the meal and then place raw veg in a bowl on the table ( as well as the cooked veg on their plates that her and my df ate)
So we all learned to enjoy vegetable raw and now as adults eat almost everything cooked. We had a pudding on sundays only. I think the important thing is to not make any fuss over food. It's only a small part of life after all

Adam3322 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:04:51

Maybe thats the problem, every things gets boiled!! il try a few raw veg tonight carrots cucumber etc. Thanks for the advice

ParadiseLaundry Tue 19-Mar-19 15:05:13

Not being goady, genuine question. Why do you do a dessert with a meal every day?

Adam3322 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:07:02

im always a bit stuck on how big the portions should be if im honest. My way of thinking has always been to a fair bit on the plate so they can eat till full rather than put to little on there. Will try and reduce the portions though as i do see your point

Di11y Tue 19-Mar-19 15:07:09

it's not ideal as it makes veg a battle ground. I do simple pudding e.g. Greek yoghurt and frozen berries and don't worry if the girls don't eat the veg. I offer lots at lunchtime and snacks and sometimes even a pot of sweet corn if they're sooo hungry while I'm finishing dinner.

StarlingsEverywhere Tue 19-Mar-19 15:08:34

I don't make dessert dependent on eating mains. I encourage DS to eat some of each type of veg on his plate and I let him have dessert when I feel like it, on an ad hoc basis. I don't want him to a) get into the habit of continuing to eat when he's full in order to clean his plate, b) see dessert as a reward for positive behaviour or c) be forced to eat something he hates. My parents did all those things with me and I have an terrible relationship with food now.

BobIsNotYourUncle Tue 19-Mar-19 15:09:05

What sort of desserts are you offfering? We just do a yoghurt or those muller rice things. Proper puddings tend to be a treat at a weekend. My DC would still rather have a yoghurt over broccoli any day though...

my2bundles Tue 19-Mar-19 15:09:43

I don't do dessert. On the rare occasions I do then everyone gets it regardless. My kids eat untill they have had enough and I don't overload tne plates. Not linking sweet treats to mealtime works and they eat tne veg that they like, I don't enforce the veg they genuinely dislike.

Adam3322 Tue 19-Mar-19 15:09:45

Thats just the way ive been brought up so thats what i do. Only something little like a cake or ice pole. Its just what im used to . Im not sure if its a treat for eating dinner etc ive just always seen it as after dinner you have desert

Mishappening Tue 19-Mar-19 15:12:04

When looking after my GC the rule is that you have mains, fruit and then a treat of some kind - e.g. ice lolly. They know that they need to eat up everything before the lolly arrives - they just regard it as a law of nature now!


It sort of makes me think of Theresa May: you will eat your gristly meat or you will not get pudding - i.e you will keep having to vote on the same bloody motion (whilst I am busy bribing the DUP) or you will not get to move on to something more appealing to vote on!

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Tue 19-Mar-19 15:24:15

I wouldn’t. At that age I’d be more inclined to be simply trying to introduce them to a variety of veggies cooked in a variety of ways. So a child that won’t touch boiled peas and carrots might love roasted peppers and cherry tomatoes, or a brightly coloured stir fry or a soup with lentils etc. I’d try to get them involved in cooking as much as you can as well. My back up with mine if they didn’t like the veg I was serving was always tomato and cucumber slices which they really liked. Their palates have gradually changed and expanded naturally as they’ve got older.

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