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Sending this to my neighbour?

(155 Posts)
Andromeida59 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:04:29

Hi, we have Muslim neighbours that we say hello too, take in post for etc. I feel so horrified by the attacks in Christchurch that I want to send a card to them with not only condolences but also just a message of solidarity that should they ever experience any negativity, we are with them and would help where we can.

I know they celebrate the religious festivals and have wished them Eid Mubarak before etc. but I don't know if this is over stepping the mark.

Thoughts? AIBU

helpconfused Tue 19-Mar-19 14:07:04

What a lovely neighbor you are.
I've no idea if it would be a good thing to do or not though :/
Sorry - I'm no help.

Drum2018 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:12:31

I wouldn't. It would be strange to send someone condolences on the death of people they didn't know.

purpleboy Tue 19-Mar-19 14:12:54

I think it sounds very kind and thoughtful. Do you think they will view it in the same way.. if so then definitely send it, they are probably feeling quite vulnerable right now, and it's always nice to be nice.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 19-Mar-19 14:14:44

I wouldn’t either, it’s a hit strange and intrusive

Andromeida59 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:14:59

I wouldn't use the word "condolence", maybe I'll just make it a thank you card for them taking in parcels and also letting them know we're here for them. Not sure hmm.

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:15:48

It’s a nice thought but I think a little odd.

Bluntness100 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:17:47

I also think you're trying to be nice, but I don't think this is a good idea really, and would refrain from doing so. You don't know how they will react and I think it's a bit insensitive.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson Tue 19-Mar-19 14:17:51

I personally think this is a lovely thing to do. But I might go and say it in person rather than in a card.

KC225 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:18:12

No - I think its odd. You seem like a good neighbour, keep going as you are. No card.

ems137 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:18:29

I think it's very odd tbh. What would you think if they sent you a similar card after the Manchester attack or 9/11?

Babyfoal Tue 19-Mar-19 14:18:50

Not a card, but maybe a bunch of daffodils if you feel you want to do something.

thecatsthecats Tue 19-Mar-19 14:19:37

I think the thing that is odd about it is that in your own way, you're lumping them in with all Muslims. They aren't just your lovely neighbours, they're your lovely Muslim neighbours...

I would thank them and be friendly in the same way as you would if they weren't Muslims. If you want to show respect to their customs, gifts of food are common at Eid I believe.

glitterbiscuits Tue 19-Mar-19 14:19:58

Invite them for coffee. A card is a bit odd

stepup123 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:20:55

Don't do it!

AfterSchoolWorry Tue 19-Mar-19 14:21:09

I wouldn't. Too random.

Cafelatte2go Tue 19-Mar-19 14:21:38

No, trying way too hard. If it was the local mosque I'd fully understand but this is across the world. As someone else said, it's basically showing you label them as 'Muslims' primarily rather than individuals.

thedisorganisedmum Tue 19-Mar-19 14:21:42

Are you in New Zealand? A message of sympathy would kind of make sense there.

Otherwise I would find it incredibly patronising if I got a message like that!

GabriellaMontez Tue 19-Mar-19 14:22:10

Really weird imo

OnlyFoolsnMothers Tue 19-Mar-19 14:22:41

super odd- dont do it.

GottenGottenGotten Tue 19-Mar-19 14:23:22

I was going to say something very similar to what ems137 said. I would be very confused if someone sent me a card after an attack that affected people that i happen to share a religion with, but live thousands of miles away.

Andromeida59 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:25:12

Thanks for the responses, I won't be sending a card. Points absolutely taken. I guess I feel that I just want to do something against all of the hatred that is around at this moment.
In regard to "lumping all Muslims in", I'm really not. I remember when Dunblane happened and it really hammered it home because we were at school in the gym when it happened. I couldn't quite get my hear around something so normal being turned in to something so awful, the same with them being at the mosque.

FlagranceDirect Tue 19-Mar-19 14:28:31

Seems a bit odd to me too

Cafelatte2go Tue 19-Mar-19 14:30:58

Your intentions are obviously kind but yes don't do it x

Dotty1970 Tue 19-Mar-19 14:32:58

Oh dear, your intentions are good but it's a very strange thing to do and also sending it just because they are Muslim is just wrong! Omg.
It's like my neighbour sending me a sympathy card if someone/people are Jamaican (or shares the same colour skin even!) are killed!

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