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AIBU?

To think he should still pay maintenance if he takes a 'career break'

240 replies

PIPERHELLO · 18/03/2019 21:31

Just that really. He's very well paid (six figs) and planning a career break. I am struggling to find a definitive answer online as to whether he can be forced (by court / Child Maintenance service) to continue paying maintenance if he voluntarily leaves his job.

Thanks.

OP posts:

Report

TeddyIsaHe · 18/03/2019 21:33

In one word: no. CMS is based on his earnings before tax, so if he’s not working he doesn’t need to pay. The only way you can get around this is if you and him agree an agreement outside of court/CMS.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 18/03/2019 21:33

It is only calculated on earnings, so no he will not be liable for child maintenance. They will ask him to provide evidence to prove he is not working and/or earning though and he would have to inform them of the change, unless it was time for an annual review.

Djchickpea · 18/03/2019 21:35

I've had this. They don't have to pay unless they choose to do so.

ColeHawlins · 18/03/2019 21:36

If he's a high earner, you might be able to get it dealt with by the family court, mightn't you?

PIPERHELLO · 18/03/2019 21:39

:(

I just cannot believe this is legal. He is opting out of choice to take a break. He has a pretty lavish lifestyle and he is opting not to pay.

The system is so utterly fucked it is unbelievable.

The fucking patriarchy.

I am fucking fuming.

OP posts:

JaceLancs · 18/03/2019 21:42

Ex DH did everything he could to get out of paying maintenance
Becoming a student
Being SAHD to OW DC
Starting a business that on paper never made any money
He now wonders why grown up DC aren’t that close to him

toomuchfaster · 18/03/2019 21:46

It's not the patriarchy. It would be the same if it was a woman. If he is not working, he take them for more time so you can earn more?

blackteasplease · 18/03/2019 21:46

Wait...

Is he still being paid during his career break? Then he would obviously have to pay you.

Is any of the maintenance court ordered? He would still have to pay anything court ordered unless and until he applies to vary it.

If it's solely the cms and he isn't being paid you might be stuck. But I agree it's not right.

blackteasplease · 18/03/2019 21:48

It is the patriarchy becuase it's massively more common that men are paying the maintenance.

Becuase women are often the ones who took time off to be with the kids when they were little and a. They are the person the kids are used to and therefore have more residency and b. Have often taken a big pay cut.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 18/03/2019 21:48

Is he getting paid?

shiveringtimber · 18/03/2019 22:02

My ex is trying the same thing except he's taken "early retirement". Do they have to stop paying if they're receiving a big, fat pension?

lovinglifexo · 18/03/2019 22:08

How does this relate to the patriarchy ?

Yes, unfortunately he won’t be liable to pay as child maintenance is based of earnings. If you speak to him, perhaps he may agree to pay something.

he should definitely be continuing to support his DC; perhaps maybe more overnights ?

lyralalala · 18/03/2019 22:09

If he is a high earner and has high savings you can go to court for maintenance, but it’s not a quick process (for example a lottery winner couldn’t be touched by cms but could by court)

lyralalala · 18/03/2019 22:13

My ex is trying the same thing except he's taken "early retirement". Do they have to stop paying if they're receiving a big, fat pension?

If his pension is taxable then he’ll still be assessed on it.

ThePlaceToVent · 18/03/2019 22:16

It’s absolutely shit, a couple of these threads every day.

I am writing to my MP.

I will report back.

kateandme · 18/03/2019 22:33

is doing it to get out of paying.becasue surely if hes living his own life he'd want to help with his child too.

PIPERHELLO · 18/03/2019 22:36

Thanks @theplacetovent - it is utterly shit. I honestly cannot believe this is still no better in 2019.

As to those asking why this is relevant to the patriarchy; I am quite surprised you even have to ask!? It's because the whole system is geared in favour of men. Single parents with majority responsibility for children are overwhelmingly female, and the system is designed by men predominantly (government, legal system where men dominate still).

Yes there are single dads, of course there are. But the vast majority of single parents are mums. And the system is woefully, woefully ineffective.

On what planet is it OK for a father to not pay towards their child when they are rich enough to be able to afford a career break. It is an absolute joke.

OP posts:

PIPERHELLO · 18/03/2019 22:38

Sorry - I should re-phrase part of the above.

The system is geared in favour of men, but in this instance it's perhaps better to word it as 'the system hasn't been designed at all with women's interests or the reality of women's lives properly considered'.

OP posts:

reallyanotherone · 18/03/2019 22:41

So can’t he take rp while on his career break? He isn’t working, he can parent his own kids while you work.

ThePlaceToVent · 18/03/2019 22:42

And if the NRP is self employed you are totally screwed.

My DH pays around £600 a month through the CMS.

Apparently we are “wealthy” and shouldn’t worry when my sons dad fails to pay his money to me - even the attitude on here towards the RP (more usually the Mother) stinks.

ThePlaceToVent · 18/03/2019 22:44

So can’t he take rp while on his career break? He isn’t working, he can parent his own kids while you work

Fucking seriously?

CanILeavenowplease · 18/03/2019 23:03

So can’t he take rp while on his career break? He isn’t working, he can parent his own kids while you work

What? Uproot the children from their primary carer, their home, potentially their childcare and/or school, friends, family? How would that work? How would it feel for a child to suddenly not see the one person who had been caring for them everyday just a few times a week - or less? What about what the children want?

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TheCraicDealer · 18/03/2019 23:12

If you voluntarily leave employment you're not entitled to benefits for a certain amount of time, presumably because that's your own choice and the state isn't going to carry the can for it. So how the fuck can you leave a job and just walk away from paying for your own kids with no consequences? How can anyone justify that being workable within the system? Something needs to change that avoidance of paying maintenance is dealt with with the same severity as tax fraud. If it was HMRC being defrauded rather than kids and RP's you can bet they wouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

PerfumeandOranges · 18/03/2019 23:16

How awful-so his career break is also a parenting break-what a bumping weight cock!

Has he re-married? If so, it might be the case that his wife's income can be taken into account when it comes to paying maintence.

QueenEhlana · 18/03/2019 23:22

This is why a maintenance system that ignores assets is so very, very wrong.

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