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AMBU to think that my sister has gone a 'bit crazy?'

(8 Posts)
Yorkshirelady Mon 18-Mar-19 14:43:26

I'll try keep this short..I fell out with my sister following an argument at my house where she had drunk one to many (Sister gets very strange when she has had a drink.) FYI I can't be sure what exactly she took such significant offence to...the discussion was about Politics. My sister and I have had a really really close relationship since we were kids. It still causes major confusion as I really don't know what happened to cause the argument. You might find this hard to believe....but I really don't!
The only thing I can think of is that I told her what I thought about her partner a few weeks before she came to visit (long story - she's in a very complicated, toxic relationship, and although I have previously kept my opinions to myself about her partner, something happened that made me so angry that I could no longer bite my tongue.) She may have come to see me with a 'goal' to have an argument if that makes sense?

Anyway...back to the story....She tried to get in her car after storming out of the house and refused to speak to me. I was very confused and asked her to talk to me but she refused. I told her that if she attempted to drive I would call the Police. I asked her to come inside and to sleep it off, leaving her fit to drive the next morning. She complied reluctantly (giving me my husband the cold shoulder and a evil stare.) Next morning she refused to speak to me to discuss the situation, and chose instead to be overly affectionate to my 3 year old and then dramatically leaving without allowing me to resolve the issue

She then blocked me from all social media. I called her and left a message, but she did not return my call. A few months later my little boy received a letter from her (I recognised her handwriting and opened the letter - as he is unable to read.) In the letter she talked about the trips that she has been on and included photos of her and her boyfriend. I immediately called her and left another message asking if we could talk,as the letter appeared to be an olive branch. No response.

A few weeks later another letter arrives, with the same kind of stuff written in it....I considered this time that this was really nuts!

I called my mother (who I don't really get on with, to ask if she had any idea what was going on.) I mentioned to my mother about the letters and her response was 'Oh isn't that a sweet thing to do? I hope you read them to ...........(my child).' I promptly replied that I had not read them to my son, as I found the letters quite weird. My mother then said I was being selfish. (which isn't an unusual response from this woman to be honest.)

Just interested to know what everybody's thoughts are about this....

frazzledasarock Mon 18-Mar-19 14:49:27

My sister tried similar shit when I wasn’t speaking to her. She stated sending letters and ‘gifts’ to my youngest dc. I found it manipulative that she was attempting to emotionally black mail my youngest primary aged child into contacting her so she could find out what was going on with my life and yet not actually apologise to me and my older child for her appalling behaviour to us.

I chucked everything in the bin gave dc option of keeping gift tho if she wanted.

You’re lucky your dc is too young to read, next letter return to sender. She is nuts and being very manipulative. It is not nice or sweet using your kids in this way.

Tomtontom Mon 18-Mar-19 14:57:54

"Crazy", "nuts" ...

Is that your ignorant way of asking if she may be having mental health difficulties?

NoooorthonerMum Mon 18-Mar-19 15:05:29

Well she sounds like she's attention seeking. She doesn't just want to cut you off she wants to keep getting your attention so you'll try and contact her and she can ignore you.

As to why obviously I have no idea, is she usually a drama llama? How toxic is her relationship might she genuinely need help?

Chloemol Mon 18-Mar-19 15:07:32

You have tried to make contact and been ignored. I would now write a letter to her explaining you don’t know what you have done, that you want to make up and be friends again, but understand she may not want to. Then leave it to her. If she sends letters to your child I would open them , if she sends gifts I would give them to the child and write a thank you letter from them to keep communication with your child and her open but leave it up to her to get over whatever it is and make the next move between the two of you

Nairobe Mon 18-Mar-19 15:27:37

She's an idiot. She's having a tantrum and trying to keep reminding you how she's not talking to you. I wouldnt want someone so rude, passive aggressive and disgraceful (she was forced not to drink drive!) In my child's life. You should remind your mother of that or is it a case of 'birds of feather'?

RedBerryTea Mon 18-Mar-19 15:38:53

Time to turn the tables on her. Stop pleading for answers and explanations and give her a taste of her own medicine -next time a letter arrives for your toddler 'return to sender'. Also, do you really want to facilitate a relationship between your child and such a strange and unpredictable woman?

Yorkshirelady Mon 18-Mar-19 20:43:23

Thank you for taking the time to reply. You know when things just weigh on your mind a bit more than they should do? Well that's how I've been feeling lately and you've really helped. I'll be taking your advice. :-)

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