To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

[MangoBiscuit]

If you are BU, then so am I. She sounds like a right cow.

[HouseOfGoldandBones]

Some people are just arseholes OP.

My DC are older now, but I always sympathise with any parent having to cope with a toddler tantrum in the Supermarket.

[Persimmonn]

I’m so happy my kids are school age now. I always try to smile at parents with tantrumming toddlers because I was in that position just a few years ago!

The lady was a cow.

[Tinkerbellisnotafairy]

YANBU. She's clearly a smug parent who thinks that HER little darling Tommy would NEVER behave like that in a supermarket

I always smile at someone whose child is having a meltdown - they're stressed enough already, why would you add to that?!

Poor you OP, hope you are ok. In case no one has told you today, you are doing a great job.

[MaMaMaMySharona]

I don't have children yet but would still give all the time needed to a parent dealing with a child having a meltdown!

She was definitely a cow, I'm glad you told her to grow up. I would have said far worse!

[Georgeofthejungle]

Her day will come and her smugness will fade away

[upsideyerelephant]

She wasn't so much smug as angry. She was glaring at me at entrance. I ended up hiding in the paper bit until she'd gone.

[whitehalleve]

I'd have probably stuck my foot out as she barged past.

[Spiderbanana]

I have a friend whose son had a massive siezure as a baby and stopped breathing. (He made a full recovery and is fine now). Whilst he was being resuscitated, the dad ran to get something from the car, only to be accosted by a neighbour who wanted to know how long they would be as the ambulance was blocking her car and she needed to go to the shops before they closed

Some people are unable to see their own needs in the context of other people's.

[itbemay1]

YADNBU if I'd have seen this I would have turned around and walked away, no one with an upset child needs an audience or to be barged past. She sounds awful.

[Otterseatpuffinsdontthey]

What is it with toddlers/supermarkets?
Very first time I took my Granddaughter (Age 2) into a supermarket (we needed ONE item). I thought I'll leave the buggy in the car/walk. Mistake - which won't be repeated! She metamorphed into something I didn't recognise!
In your situation - the other woman was unnecessarily rude.

[thedisorganisedmum]

She's clearly a smug parent who thinks that HER little darling Tommy would NEVER behave like that in a supermarket

I had 4, they never did because I didn't let them! It's not being smug, it's being strict enough. If you are happy with tantrums and kids expressing their personality, it's your choice, but at least own it!

That woman was just rude though, any normal human being would have gone through another isle if they couldn't wait.

[cheeseypuff]

Ignore her OP - if that had been me in her situation I would have offered to see if you needed a hand!

[JellyBaby666]

Would love to hear your tips from preventing a tantrum, nice way to shame the OP and every other mum. Your kids never tantrummed? Ever?

[NoParticularPattern]

They’re not one way chuffing streets! They have this handy feature where the aisles are open at either end so that you don’t HAVE to go past anyone if you don’t want to. She’s a dick. And clearly a smug cow who thinks it will never happen to her. Lots of people are like this- they never believe whatever it is that is happening will happen to them until suddenly it does and then naturally they’re the only person to have ever experienced it ever since the dawn of time. Naturally up until this point they are parenting experts who have obviously done everything right.

[upsideyerelephant]

@thedisorganisedmum

What do you do? Hog tie them?

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

disorganisedmum I wholly disagree with you and I am the mum of a perfect little 4yo who hardly ever had tantrums and I did discipline strictly.
Some kids get the memo and go with it, some kids are different and no amount of disciplining will iron out the behaviour and you just have to cope with it until they grow out of it.

You do sound a bit smug tbh. I don't claim responsiblility for my DDs good behaviour, I think we were lucky that's all.

[Crabbyandproudofit]

I had 4, they never did because I didn't let them!

Ooh, you're brave.

I actually used to like seeing other children "misbehave" because I felt it made mine look better. I hope I was/am always sympathetic though. OP I'm sure you are doing a great job and this is something which will pass. Sometimes turning a child upsidedown breaks a tantrum (keep a firm grip on their ankles though)!

[BeefTomato]

I can't wait for thedisorganisedmum to tell us her tried and tested plan to guarantee no supermarket tantrums!

[Petalflowers]

I’ve done the let-them-scream-it-out scenario before in a supermarket (not local to me). Once dc realised he wasn’t going to get what he wanted, he calmed down.

However, you have my sympathy. We’ve all had that screaming toddler who wouldn’t get into a trolley, car seat, pushchair etc.

[thedisorganisedmum]

JellyBaby666
my kids had tantrums but they have never been allowed to make a scene, screaming and trowing themselves on the floor and I would never have tolerated to be kicked and bitten! That's not normal!

If I had let one of my kid bite me, what would have stopped him from bitting his sibling or another child at school? That is absolutely not acceptable!

Not being happy to be told "no" is one thing, but a full on hysterical scene is another entirely.

I can't stand the smug parents who laugh when their kids are throwing themselves on the floor screaming and raging because they think they are being superior. They are not, and no one find the child cute.

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

sounds horrible but maybe she was having a bad day too.

and all round.

[upsideyerelephant]

@thedisorganisedmum

How do you stop them, then? Or even prevent them?

Go on, do tell us!

[BeefTomato]

So... do we just have to tell our kids that we won't tolerate their behaviour? And then they stop?

[sue51]

thedisorganisedmum I would love to know how you managed that. OP she was a cow. My DDs were usually as good as gold but the odd meltdown was always in a public place.