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Sleeping with boyfriend

(49 Posts)
Brumbee6 Mon 18-Mar-19 07:59:55

I've completely had enough of sleeping with him.
I wake up atleast 10 times a night because he is smothering me and I get way too warm. I find myself waking up at the very edge of the bed with him right behind me trapping me. I shove him off and tell him to move but it doesnt work. I sometimes just give in from all the waking up and feel totally fed up and il stay up playing on my phone for hours which means I'm running on next to no sleep. The most annoying is he will dig his boner into my back every morning. It can be from 4am onwards or reoccurring, he will dig it into my back and touch me / grope me like a piece of meat. I ignore him and swat him away but this can carry on for ages obviously disrupting my sleep. This morning I got so fed up of it I just stormed out of bed. I have a 1 year d to sort so sleeping in the day isn't much of an option. He gets to stay in bed and sleep as much as he likes before work so he isnt effected. Coping on less than 5 hours of sleep a night is giving me horrible headaches, changing my mood and anxiety, it's just really getting to me now

Am I being unreasonable to want to be left the fuck alone?? Can anyone help me i dont want to just send him packing

LovingLola Mon 18-Mar-19 08:02:27

Can anyone help me i dont want to just send him packing

Have you spoken to him about it during the day?

Furrydogmum Mon 18-Mar-19 08:02:45

Do you have room in bed for a bolster pillow?

GoldenEvilHoor Mon 18-Mar-19 08:04:09

Does he live with you?

Brumbee6 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:05:02

Yeah I have I've even tried going to bed early on purpose but unless his shifts change at work he follows me to bed and it starts all over again

Quartz2208 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:05:26

At the very least send him to a spare room
The groping you is bad

ShatnersWig Mon 18-Mar-19 08:05:32

How long have you been together?

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Mon 18-Mar-19 08:05:55

No yanbu
unless he has done this every single night since you met him I don’t buy this is “involuntary”, he has some control over this behaviour.

Have you spoken to him about it?
I’d personally want to send him packing but he’d be on the sofa as a minimum in my house

Brumbee6 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:06:11

No he has his own place but comes to mine all the time

QueenofmyPrinces Mon 18-Mar-19 08:06:24

You have my sympathy!

For the best part of 12 months following the birth of our second child, me and DH slept in separate rooms and it was blissful for lots of reasons.

A month ago he moved back into the marital bedroom and I hate it! grin

I’m learning to accept it and it’s not grating on me as much as it used to but given the choice I would rather sleep on my own again grin

I can’t really see any benefits to sharing a room/bed if I’m honest grin

ShatnersWig Mon 18-Mar-19 08:07:02

So he's not the father of your 1-yr old?

theresafoxunderthedecking Mon 18-Mar-19 08:08:07

putting it quite bluntly, ffs just talk him about it.

Quartz2208 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:08:47

Send him packing if you don’t live together and he isn’t the father the overruling of your physical boundaries is a huge red flag

Middlrm Mon 18-Mar-19 08:09:03

Make sure he stays at his if he can’t control himself ... sounds like he is just super horny 😬😬

circlemat Mon 18-Mar-19 08:10:40

Just tell him he isn't welcome to stay 🤷‍♀️

TapasForTwo Mon 18-Mar-19 08:11:24

Cut down the nights he stays over then.

Brumbee6 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:12:37

No I escaped an abusive relationship with my child dad, I've known this guy 10 years + not romantically though. Hes great just an arsehole at night and in the morning

Luaa Mon 18-Mar-19 08:15:07

Tell him if he can't respect that you need space and sleep in bed then he needs to sleep at his own place. Or on the sofa.

Holidayshopping Mon 18-Mar-19 08:16:38

You need to speak to him and tell him to stop. If he’s a nice bloke, he will. If he’s not, you need to tell him to go away and never come back.

Quartz2208 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:18:07

You need a calm discussion OP the grop8ng and overruling of your bo7ndaries are red flags

Brumbee6 Mon 18-Mar-19 08:18:08

I've spoken about it but it still happens I dont really have the confidence to tell him to go away incase he gets upset with me

LovingLola Mon 18-Mar-19 08:18:55

He's great just an arsehole at night and in the morning

He doesn’t sound too great
But bet your 1 year old adores him and he’s great with him/her ???
Why the hell do you put up with it? Are you planning a baby with him ??

theresafoxunderthedecking Mon 18-Mar-19 08:19:35

in case he gets upset with me what does that exactly mean ?

Hedgehogblues Mon 18-Mar-19 08:19:40

He's an arsehole who clearly doesn't respect you. Dump him

GruciusMalfoy Mon 18-Mar-19 08:21:40

If he's ignoring you he's being an arsehole. Tell him to go home, you need a decent sleep and want space. Don't end up with him semi moving in without having your agreement.

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