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Friend etiquette

(2 Posts)
RainbowCushion Mon 18-Mar-19 05:05:00

I'm quite socially anxious and needy at present, which I know is a problem and I'm in the process of getting help. But, I'm still in the process of feeling OK.

One of the things that has been hard is I feel like I have lost all intuitive sense of friendship etiquette and are constantly making faux-pas. So I've started to try and think of 'rules' to help me and not feel like I'm going to drive away all my friends, for example:

- If I ask someone to spend time with me and they say no without an alternate plan (ie "sorry I can't, but I can do X" as opposed to "no I can't do that sorry"), don't ask again, it's up to them next.

- If someone writes nothing more than 'lol' or 'haha' or something like the thumb emoji in an online chat, consider the conversation over, don't drag it out further.

AIBU to ask - what is your unspoken friend etiquette? What unspoken 'rules' are you aware of?

HarrysOwl Mon 18-Mar-19 05:49:12

I'll be honest, I think this is your anxiety. Making rules and guidelines for yourself is a coping behaviour, but it serves only to encourage negative thought patterns.

I'm glad you're getting help, if I were you, I'd drop the rules and just enjoy conversations with friends, try not to overthink your responses. Good friends won't be on the lookout for anything you do 'wrong', as long as you don't go sleeping with their partners or calling them ugly fuckers then it's actually pretty hard to really piss a friend off!

Good luck.

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