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To think I'll always be a fatty

(76 Posts)
foreverfat Sun 17-Mar-19 22:07:43

I really do want to be told to sort myself out
I lost 3 stones on 2017 have regained the lot
Was so so hard to shift the Weight but so si easy to regain it
Feel like a lifetime of hating myself and starving then binging is impossible to reconcile
I have a good husband job kids bit can only think k about weight and what I'm going to eat or drink or not eat or drink.
I have a friend and all we ever talk about is weight
Slimming groups seem to perpetuate things.any ideas how can I actually change
I really do not want diabetes or weight related cancers but cannot see a way out of this

Neome Sun 17-Mar-19 22:09:52

Hello flowers it's difficult isn't it. Didn't want to read & run.

Hiddenaspie1973 Sun 17-Mar-19 22:10:38

Hope you can beat it. I can't and am closer to accepting I'll probably never be a 10/12 again.
It's just a constant battle.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sun 17-Mar-19 22:13:09

Following because I feel the same.

I read a thread where lots of (thin) people were slagging off slimming world saying diets don’t work, 98% of people put the weight back on. I then thought why fuck am I even bothering? Then you get judged for being fat and not trying to lose weight. You can’t win.

CheekyChappy710 Sun 17-Mar-19 22:14:17

I'm right there with you. Otherwise "successful" in life but just cannot get my arse in gear to lose weight. Have tried everything bar a gastric band, even expensive options like personal trainer, private dietician, hypnosis, psychiatrist everything!! I feel like it does hold me back and I'm embarrassed about it but I just can't get it to click in my brain that I need to lose the weight. I have about 5 stone to lose.

user764329056 Sun 17-Mar-19 22:17:07

You sound stuck and that’s exactly where I was for a very long time, I have recently started back at the gym after 3 years of no exercise and I can honestly say it’s the best thing i’ve done, I can feel the benefit in every aspect of my life, am only in week 4 but wish I had done this a long time ago, is any form of exercise an option for you? My food obsession has lessened a great deal, probably because I feel better about myself and want to carry on improving. Honestly, I think it’s the answer, you deserve a break from the grips of what you are describing, I was exactly the same just a month ago, good luck OP xx

foreverfat Sun 17-Mar-19 22:20:25

I lost the weight after my father died because I felt that the medical staff did not take me seriously as I was so fat!
I don't think this was actually true just me projecting
It's become everything about me and informs everything I do .
What is the answer?
Was litening today to a comedian who has a show about being bulimic and I honestly thought that's an option??

Craftycorvid Sun 17-Mar-19 22:25:12

It’s just so bloody frustrating, isn’t it? It’s not anything you’re doing ‘wrong’ OP. Our bodies find a set point of weight and will do everything to maintain it. That’s why diets work short-term but then tend to stop working. I’m also convinced hormones play a part. It’s definitely not the simple equation of calories in/calories out many would have you believe. As others have posted, finding an exercise you enjoy really helps - doesn’t matter what it is (everything from salsa to sex), snd being as kind as you can to the body that looks after you including enjoying dressing up whatever the size label says (and they are mostly bollocks anyway). Good food, only when you feel hungry, don’t obsess about calories. 💐

delilahbucket Sun 17-Mar-19 22:26:04

You need a full lifestyle overhaul not a diet. Try calorie counting for a few weeks. Even if just to see what you are eating. It's quite an eye opener when you suddenly see what is in the food/drink you consume and you learn what an actual portion should be. It certainly made me rethink what I eat as after losing three stone a few years ago I have successfully maintained my weight ever since without much effort. I do still weigh myself every month or so to check I haven't started to put weight back on, and I tend to fluctuate between the same few pounds.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Sun 17-Mar-19 22:27:57

No answers just sympathy

I am the same...

I am so so cross with myself
I lost about 4 stone to get down to 10lbs overweight (this was the healthiest I have been in my adult life - I have weighed as little as 9st but did that using Cambridge diet and was a mess)
I did it with healthy eating and gym - since then I have gained 1 and a half stone

I decided after Christmas enough was enough...
I did no alcohol/restaurants in jan went to the gym religiously did 15k+ steps and lost a measly 2 lbs in 6weeks.
since then, I have gained the 2 back and another 4 blush

I just think what is the point in trying... and also why can’t i crack this????
I am smart and I understand nutrition why is this so hard?????


SofaSurfer20 Mon 18-Mar-19 09:43:22

Try slimming world. I've lost 17lbs in 6 weeks. Even after a couple of shitty weeks I didn't put on any at all x

Sexykitten2005 Mon 18-Mar-19 09:45:44

You don’t have to be. A lot of good alternatives to change your lifestyle rather than just diet on here

CutesyUserName Mon 18-Mar-19 09:51:58

All and any 'diet' - SW, WW, keto, etc, work because you eat fewer calories than you burn by just living and exercising. You really don't need a diet club which is just a money-making business. Join MyFitnessPal (free) and track your calorie intake. Stay within the calories you are given and you will lose weight. There are no restricted foods or food groups, so long as you stay within your calories you can eat what you like. Keeping it off means you can't go back to eating the way you did before that resulted in you putting on the weight in the first place. I've lost nearly 6 stone this way and have kept it off for nearly 3 years now.

stevie69 Mon 18-Mar-19 09:54:03

It is possible to lose weight and not put it back on. I promise blush

Is it hard work to keep the weight off? Yes. Does it need to make you miserable? Absolutely, not.

Don't talk yourself out of it before you start. Go for it smile

womanhuman Mon 18-Mar-19 09:57:04

Go to Facebook and look for Team RH. It’s calorie counting but not like you’ve ever tried before, with a massive amount of support, humour and more support.

I was totally in the position you are now, had tried everything, knew SW screwed with my brain, couldn’t see a way out. This has changed my life. 💐

SallyWD Mon 18-Mar-19 10:01:06

I'm like you in that I obsess about to eat. I love food and am always thinking about it. I was yoyo dieting my whole life. Being slim and getting fat again. Everything changed when I switched to the 16:8 diet (eat for 8 hours, fast for 16). It's truly changed my life. I've lost weight and I no longer fear putting it on again. It's changed my appetite. I don't count calories or fat but eat what I fancy. I do naturally love healthy foods like lots of vegetables but I also eat mountains of cheese and indulge in whatever I fancy. I find I no longer have the desire to massively overeat. I do sometimes go for it and eat too much but find that later that day or the next day I just don't want to eat much so it all balances out. I have more energy and lots of niggling health problems have disappeared. My mum started it and lost weight easily. She said she no longer obsessed about food and found it liberating.

codenameduchess Mon 18-Mar-19 10:02:45

I'm the same. I yo-yo diet and loose some then gain it back but never get properly 'slim'. I hate myself and my body, at size 18/20 I can't even buy clothes in most shops and I know I'm judged on my weight before anything else.

I did recently join ww and it's a lot less culty than sw and focuses on genuine, sustainable changes (rather than gorging on muller lights and pasta) but I still find on weigh day I'll not eat all day and am really stressed about getting on the scales... i

I know that exercise is the key for me, dieting I can loose a lb a week or so but get pissed off at lack of progress and give up. If I add in exercise that speeds up to 3-6lbs a week and I'll stick it longer if there are real results. BUT I'm always the fattest person at the gym or in the class and end up feeling self conscious or leaving because I feel like the skinny people are judging me.

So, no real answers OP just solidarity.

Beebee8 Mon 18-Mar-19 10:05:28

Gonna go against the grain here and recommend you STOP DIETING. Counting calories is still dieting for whoever mentioned that.

If you are sick of living as you are then maybe try looking in to intuitive eating. The premise is letting go of food rules and restrictions, learning to listen to your body and rejecting diet culture.

I started by reading books like Body Positive Power and Just Eat It. Listening to podcasts has also helped me massively (not to lose weight as that is not the point but to find some kind of peace with my body and food after years of eating disorders) free podcasts I can recommend are by Laura Thomas and also The Food Psych. These are easy to find by googling but feel free to ask me for more direct resources!

Please consider what I've said.. It's a miserable life to put your worth in to your looks and you can be overweight and healthy, contrary to what people believe.

2cats2many Mon 18-Mar-19 10:12:01

Start running. It's not only good for your weight and fitness, it's also brilliant for your mental health.

Find a running club near you and see if they have a beginners programme. I can guarantee that there will be all types of shapes, sizes, fitness levels and backgrounds in the club. Runners are very friendly and supportive, so you'll make friends too.

Go for it. This time last year, I couldn't run for 2mins without getting out of breath. I'd failed the couch to 5k so many times and thought I'd never be able to run. Now I regularly run 6 or 7k. I did a 10k race and am looking for a 10miler for later this year.

Good luck x

Thisisnotwhatiwant Mon 18-Mar-19 10:19:37

Try reading the obesity code by dr Jason fung. It’s quite scientific in places, but explains so much. He basically recommends intermittent fasting, but I think you’d find it helpful.

ragingmentalist Mon 18-Mar-19 10:21:12

That’s why diets work short-term but then tend to stop working. I’m also convinced hormones play a part. It’s definitely not the simple equation of calories in/calories out many would have you believe.

You might think you're being nice & helpful, but comments like this, really do not help at all.

Unless you have an underlying medical condition, then it is EXACTLY calories in Vs calories out. Unless you are some sort of solar panel.

You lose weight by doing the opposite of gaining weight. When you're gaining, it's because you are in excess of your real TDEE. In order to lose weight, you need to be truthful to yourself. Eat well, track every single thing that goes into your mouth & if you are consistently in deficit, you WILL lose weight. Otherwise you're some sort of medical miracle.

It's not easy. It takes a long time & you will probably fall off the wagon every now and then. As long as you stay in deficit on the whole though, it will happen.

Personally, I try and stay away from any faddy diet, of cutting out major food groups (other than obvious of sugar & processed crap) or any silly notions of 'windows' of eating & stick to the above. They are all variations of a theme though, and the theme is calorie deficit. Hell, you can do the McDonalds or Greggs diet if you want - you can lose weight just by eating them too.

stevie69 Mon 18-Mar-19 10:22:14

Please consider what I've said.. It's a miserable life to put your worth in to your looks and you can be overweight and healthy, contrary to what people believe.

Is that a medical fact or just your view on the issue?

Also, the OP did not suggest that she was assessing her worth by her looks. She said that she did not want diabetes. And she's spot on. It gets treated far too lightly. You really do not want diabetes sad

thecatsthecats Mon 18-Mar-19 10:24:01

This is why I tend to advocate exercise over diets.

Someone will be along to tell you that you can't outrun your fork.

I say bollocks. Exercise is addictive - dieting really isn't. Exercise improves your metabolism for hours if not days. A good meal can be outbalanced by just one very bad one.

Not to say you shouldn't diet - I have developed a series of rules over time. No snacking. No alcohol casually. Lots of veg etc. But exercise is essential, IMO, for your health, as opposed to your weight. Your bone density, muscle mass and heart health will all improve through exercise - all as important as your weight.

Beebee8 Mon 18-Mar-19 10:24:37

All these comments may be well meaning but they are incredibly ill informed and will be detrimental in the long run.

The more your weight goes up and down the more your metabolism will be negatively affected and the higher your set weight point will climb.

Diets do not work. Any form of restriction is a diet.

Beebee8 Mon 18-Mar-19 10:26:35

Stevie She said a lifetime of hating herself.

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