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AIBU at this nasty comment??

(17 Posts)
Scootagal Sun 17-Mar-19 20:12:36

This is quite an old comment but something reminded me of it today and it got me riled again...

I was pregnant and out for lunch with my female work colleagues. One of them started saying she would probably never have kids because....'it would probably have Downs Syndrome, or die inside me'....

Nobody said anything but I was seething at how inconsiderate it was to say in front of someone who was pregnant and also just how ignorant and callous. And also that nobody thought to pipe up to say um that's maybe a bit inappropriate...

Am I being unreasonable in my anger about it or should I have been more thick skinned??

Bezalelle Sun 17-Mar-19 20:13:34

She was saying it about her potential child, not yours. Having said that, it's pretty crass to even mention something like that in front of a pregnant woman.

ColeHawlins Sun 17-Mar-19 20:14:21

She sounds potentially mentally unwell, TBH.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 17-Mar-19 20:15:47

She’s a dick.

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-19 20:16:01

You might want to ask MNHQ to delete this thread OP as you've double posted.

People are replying on your other one.

Stayawayfromitsmouth Sun 17-Mar-19 20:16:29

It's a very strange comment to make in any context really. But it indicates deep seated issues with her rather than aimed at you I would think.
I would feel a bit sorry for her and a bit meh at her insensitive comments.
Let it go.

Foxmuffin Sun 17-Mar-19 20:17:16

Strange and twisted. I would have felt uncomfortable.

Scootagal Sun 17-Mar-19 20:19:41

Sorry I've double posted. My phone crashed! She said it whilst laughing...it was really odd. There were a lot of strange dynamics in that office. She once kept saying to my single boss about being over the hill...on the shelf...past it...thinking back she probably did have issues... just managed to upset me again today.

Casmama Sun 17-Mar-19 20:26:05

I think probably no one said anything because they were all cringing and wanted the conversation to move on ASAP rather than they didn't see a problem with it.
What an arsehole

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-19 20:28:46

Replies on your other thread

NannyRed Sun 17-Mar-19 20:49:47

How long ago?

Maybe her family had a history of missed miscarriage or DS.

Why get vexed about it today?

Hedgehogblues Sun 17-Mar-19 20:53:23

I would assume she had a family or personal history of these things. Not everything is about you

BellaVista1540 Sun 17-Mar-19 20:57:49

Do where do we draw the line OP? People should never talk about death/cancer in front of me/my kids because my partner/their parent died of cancer? Or never talk about disabilities because someone somewhere may have a disability??? Where’s the red line? Or is it only pregnancy?

Scootagal Mon 18-Mar-19 18:00:34

Bellavista1540 - was more the way she said it/phrased as opposed to the subject matter.

Hedgehogblues - maybe not but I thought a tad insensitive if she did have a history of those things she might understand why....also she had a habit of saying what I consider strange things occasionally.

Nannyred- last year - I thought about it again as a friend was worried about amniocentis results.

Thanks all - I think I'm going with the arsehole diagnosis.

mrsdavys Mon 18-Mar-19 18:04:19

I think that’s so weird...it would make me uncomfortable too. Sounds a bit of a weird thing to say when discussing whether she’d have kids. Couldn’t she have just said something like ‘oh no, things probably wouldn’t go well anyway’ rather than ‘die inside me’!! Very odd

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Mon 18-Mar-19 18:08:05

I don't know, based on what you've said here, she was not talking about your baby or pregnancy. For all we know she could have had losses or dx. YABU to let it still bother you and to think you were the only person to have been pregnant. She might well have posted: AIBU to think it was insensitive of colleagues to bring pg woman to lunch when they know my history?

burgundyjumper Mon 18-Mar-19 18:11:53

Sounds to me like she is the sort of person who has had a lifetime of disappointments, disasters, bereavements and things never working out.
But a bit foot-in-mouth to say something like that in front of a pregnant woman though.

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