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4 year old dd at football match?

(51 Posts)
rose789 Sun 17-Mar-19 18:48:14

My father in law occasionally gets cheap tickets for him and dp to go to football matches. Neither of them are avid supporters by any stretch of the imagination.
Today at lunch he said he had a very very special present for dd and totally hyped it up until by the end dd was expecting him to bring out a flying unicorn or something. He said he has got her a ticket to the match with him and her daddy!
She’s 4. There will be so many crowds and chanting and drunk people and swearing I just think it’s totally inappropriate. Can guarantee she will need a wee at least twice and the thought of the men’s toilets in a football ground is just vile. She will be with her dad so I’m not worried from a safety point of view more hygiene. She’s never shown the slightest interest in football in her life.
Dp is pissed off that it means he won’t be able to go for a couple of pints before and after the game. And pissed off that his dad hadn’t told him he planned to invite dd.

I said I didn’t want her to go and that we should just say she’s not old enough.
Dp thinks he should just take her and that she might like it, and if she doesn’t they can just leave.
I asked dd and she said she wants to go with grandpa.

What do I do? I’ve never been to a match in my life’s and he has so he knows better than me.

Jemimapuddleduk Sun 17-Mar-19 18:52:57

My dd is 5 and has been going to Football games for around a year with dh and FIL. She has a season ticket. She doesn’t do every match and we give her the choice. She takes snacks, a bag of distractions in case she gets bored and a flask of hot chocolate. She go’s to the pub after whilst the traffic dies down. I’ve never been to a match in my life but she seems to enjoy it and likes the atmosphere and cheerleading etc.

Fatasfook Sun 17-Mar-19 18:54:52

I’m sure your fil wouldn’t bother if he didn’t think she would be safe. Let her go!

HopefullyAnonymous Sun 17-Mar-19 18:55:28

My DD has been going to local games/Old Trafford/Wembley with DH and DS since she was 3. She loves it. If she hadn’t enjoyed it I wouldn’t have sent her again but I don’t think 4 is too young. I think you’re over thinking it.

hidinginthenightgarden Sun 17-Mar-19 18:58:42

I would let her go. FIL will probably not bother to invite her again when he realises how diiferent the experience is with a child in tow.

CostanzaG Sun 17-Mar-19 19:00:42

My DH takes DS aged 4. It's really not as bad as you think it will be. They're far more family orientated now.
It'll be fine.

Yoyo10000 Sun 17-Mar-19 19:01:04

I was at a gig the other night and there was a 6/7 year old there. Band didn’t come on until 9.15 and she was asleep virtually the whole show. Sweating, loud and Lairy. What would you take a child to that?

Yoyo10000 Sun 17-Mar-19 19:01:25

Swearing

GrubbyHipsterBeard Sun 17-Mar-19 19:03:03

Depends - which ground is it at? Is the ticket in the family stand?

TheQueef Sun 17-Mar-19 19:03:24

Matches are mostly family friendly these days.
Let her go she may love it.

CostanzaG Sun 17-Mar-19 19:03:30

yoyo what has that got to do with anything?

rose789 Sun 17-Mar-19 19:04:20

Thank you, that makes me feel slightly better about the whole thing.

QueenofStella Sun 17-Mar-19 19:07:25

FIL is being ridiculous and unreasonable to not at least discuss this with you both first. I would say that a 4 year old will get bored very quickly/not really understand what is going on.

I was at a match yesterday and a little lad (about 4ish) behind me got very agitated when his Dad wasn’t paying him enough attention as he was trying to watch the game. Dad eventually bought him a fuck ton of sweets and crisps to keep him occupied (shut him up). Not the lad’s fault - he’s too young to understand.

I would graciously decline his offer and ask if the ticket could be used for someone else.

Otherwise, I hope FIL is prepared to not see much of the game!

FairfaxAikman Sun 17-Mar-19 19:07:58

I went to my first match at around the same age. If they are a top-tier club the facilities are generally a bit better and some games even have family friendly sections.
I'd just make sure she knows what to do if she gets lost.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Sun 17-Mar-19 19:08:58

If she's not shown any interest in football before, I'd veto because I don't think it'll be a great trip for any of them. Especially as your DH doesn't seem keen either. It's a waste of 1 ticket if she doesn't go but it's potentially a waste of 3 if she goes, hates it and impacts their trip.

Homerjsimpson Sun 17-Mar-19 19:10:42

I’ve been taking my son to games from just after his fifth birthday. Mostly at Man City but also Stockport County and facilities etc are fine at both.

He loves it and only got a bit scared when the first goal went in at the first match. I was still trying to explain what had happened when another one went in 😂😂. By the time the fourth one went in he was fine......

Totally depends on the child of course though but she might really enjoy it. Swearing was my biggest worry but it’s been fine so far - totally depends where you sit in the ground though. We sit in the family stand at Man City but no way would I take him in the South Stand

Redglitter Sun 17-Mar-19 19:14:01

My niece went to her first match at around the same age. Had never shown an interest in football but wanted to go with her Daddy She loved it. 12 years later they still go to matches together

OKBobble Sun 17-Mar-19 19:15:15

There won't be drunk people there! I think you are used to stereotypes! Football is very family friendly.

ErickBroch Sun 17-Mar-19 19:17:56

First started going to see West Ham with my dad when I was 2. Used to eat a banana and fall asleep. That was it, nothing negative ever happened.

RitaFairclough Sun 17-Mar-19 19:18:03

My son has been going since he was four (he’s 12 now, a devoted fan and a season-ticket holder). He also used to take a bag of distractions at first. His younger brother goes occasionally and isn’t that interested but loves going out for the day with Daddy. I think your daughter might enjoy the atmosphere and the excitement.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 17-Mar-19 19:19:14

I'm amazed people would 'veto' this - unless there is some SEN in play you cannot know how your child would react to this situation, she'll be with her father and grandfather which would surely make it a safe experience, if she doesn't like it she doesn't go again, simple!

rose789 Sun 17-Mar-19 19:20:34

It’s Newcastle United and dp says the tickets are in the family section.
At a similar age my dad took me to a speedway race and I was terrified by the noise and had absolutely no idea what was going on. I said to dp to prepare her first for when they score, he laughed and said that’s not likely grin Such a loyal fan!!

Also I adore the flask of hot chocolate idea. I’ll be packing her off with a picnic to go with it too

FunkyKingston Sun 17-Mar-19 19:28:05

chanting and drunk people and swearing I just think it’s totally inappropriate

Ahh your father in law made the classic mistake of taking her to a football match in a Danny Dyer straight to DVD film about 1980s hooligans rarher than an actual football match. Foolish man.

Visually intoxicated folk won't get past the police and stewards. As for loud chanting, most top flight games have the atmosphere and noise levels of a morgue run by trapist monks.

sweeneytoddsrazor Sun 17-Mar-19 19:34:40

I very much doubt that a flask of hit chocolate will be allowed in but a bag of goodies is fine. It will be noisey, who are they playing?

CarpetGate Sun 17-Mar-19 19:36:41

Of course "let" her go! I went to loads of matches from a similar age - really interesting experiences, being part of such a big group. I really value those experiences.

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