To moan about my son coming home smelling of smoke

[Loopeylou92]

Just that really.. my son goes to his dads 1 or 2 weekends a month and every time he comes back smelling of smoke. Hes only 5 and i know they smoke around him without a care in the world but what am i supposed to do i cant exactly stop them (his dad and his family). I finally said something today.. well by text and he just read it and didnt reply. Am i being unreasonable for not wanting my son to be around smoke?

[PregnantSea]

YANBU, it's really dangerous for your son's health.

I'm not sure what you can do about it though :( would they at the very least go outside to smoke when he's there?

[Loopeylou92]

I know what they're like if i said that they'd just laugh and say dont be stupid we're no way near him. Even if they do go outside they'll come straight back in and not wash there hands or anything like that. They're oblivious to the dangers. I hate that an aspect of my sons health is out of my control.

[PoptartPoptart]

I have this too op and I hate it so much.
DS comes home from his dads smelling like a dirty ashtray and it’s horrible.
I have spoken to his dad numerous times over the years about it and he insists that he only smokes outside when DS is there and never in the house. But clearly he smokes indoors at other times so the carpets/curtains/sofa all stink.
As soon as DS gets home I put his clothes straight in the wash and make him have a shower and wash his hair. And I tell him why!
Not sure what else I can do really.

[Loopeylou92]

Poptart - thats exaclty the same as what i do tbh. Like you said not much more we can do. They just dont seem to get why its important not to let them be around any smoke in any form even if its just on furniture and clothes its still affecting them and makes them smell.

[Loopeylou92]

Anyone else have any ideas?

[Queenofthestress]

Unfortunately there isnt anything you can do as smoking is legal and you don't exactly have a say where they smoke during their contact time

[Loopeylou92]

Needs to be illeagal!! Nothing good about it.

[MaryBoBary]

This must be horrible for you and DS. If there is a law to say you can’t smoke in a car with children, there should be a law to say you can’t smoke in a domestic property with children. It’s just not fair and so awful for them. What does your son think about it? Maybe if he didn’t want to go to his dads because of the smoking, his dad would sort his act out and go outside.

[Loopeylou92]

Marybobary - totally agree. Well he doesnt have much of an opinion about it as hes autisitc and doesnt talk as much as a normal 5 year old but he did say earlier 'nanny smokes next to me' how vile is that?!

[LoubyLou1234]

When I visit my dads he doesn't smoke around me while I'm there but I come home stinking cos it's ingrained in everything! Hate it.... have to shower and wash clothes.

[NoooorthonerMum]

YANBU! :( Not sure what the solution is. I would imagine you'll get further with a gentle approach but this would seriously concern me too.

[ThePlaceToVent]

My step daughters always stink of smoke.

We wash all their clothes and their coats most times they come.

It’s shit for them.

[FunkyKingston]

Did tgey start smoking after your son was born or dis thet promise to quit when you got pregnant but didn't?

Otherwise, you chose ro have a child with a had a smoker and it is a vit late to start getting indignant now.

[Loopeylou92]

Funkykingston - promised to quit from day one but never did!

[ThePlaceToVent]

I think if it’s Illegal to smoke in a car with a child it should be illegal to smoke in a home where a child lives.

[Loopeylou92]

Theplacetovent - definetly! And even illeagal to smoke when a child is in your care.

[Amelia910]

I grew up with both parents chain smoking in the house. I stank it was humiliating, embarrassing and just made my childhood horrible. Wish parents could see that!