to ask people to pay for their own drinks at my wedding?

[TheLastKingdom5]

We are having a small wedding in the summer with around 12-15 people.

Money is tight and we never wanted a big do - we don't really have many people we would want to invite in the first place, and the hought of spending thousands to be the centre of attention all day makes me shudder.

So we're having a registry office wedding, followed by a buffet lunch in a pub (£13 pp). We will obviously be paying for this, but drinks are not included - AIBU to ask people to buy their own drinks? We don't drink alcohol (I'll also be driving), but I know certain people in the party would literally take the piss, and drink a lot if it was an open bar.

[NannyRed]

It’s your wedding, you decide what you want and what you want to pay for.

I’d have no issue with a paid bar as long as I knew.

[BuffaloCauliflower]

I think offering at least one welcome drink would be good hosting, but I don’t think anyone expects open bar these days

[HarrysOwl]

Absolutely fine!

Sounds lovely, I hope you have a wonderful day

[troubleswillbeoutofsight]

I think it would be hospitable to provide a couple of bottles of wine at each table at the very least

[Merryoldgoat]

I’d pay for wine on the table at dinner and after that everyone pay for themselves.

I think no drinks with the meal is a no-no.

[MiniEggAddiction]

I would offer one drink each and dodt drinks maybe.

[CoffeeNeeded2019]

I think you’d need to provide a welcome drink or toast & maybe wine for the table-even just a few bottles- no one really expects a free bar now though so certainly don’t do that!

[BinaryStar]

Not having an open bar is fine but not providing anything feels a bit inhospitable to me. So a bit of wine on the tables or some welcome drinks if you can afford it.

[BinaryStar]

But do make clear up front what the arrangements are so people can plan and also avoids any embarrassment on the day.

[daisypond]

I think it’s fine as long as you make it clear beforehand. I wouldn’t expect a free bar.

[burritofan]

Cash bar is fine, especially for a pub buffet. If you're having toasts/speeches though it's usual to spring for a glass of fizz for everyone.

[HogMother]

We provided wine during the meal, and for the toast. They topped themselves up at the bar as needed. If you’re having a buffet I think it’s fine not to provide wine.

[funnystory]

It's completely up to you and I've been to a mixture of weddings where there were free drinks all day and night and some where there wasn't. If it was me, I think I'd have one welcome drink on arrival per person for that bit when there's some hanging around and pay for some bottles of wine on the table (probably half a bottle per person). I don't think that should be too expensive for 15 people but would be a nice gesture and they can buy their own drinks after that.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

I’d agree about paying for wine on the table. However, I don’t think anyone expects an open bar. It seems more of an American thing.

[IWantChocolates]

I'd have no problem biting my own drinks in this situation (or at any wedding). TBH I've not been at a wedding where all drinks are paid for, usually you get a drink on arrival at the reception and a toasting drink and that's it, in my experience.

[SnowyAlpsandPeaks]

Every wedding I have attended, has given a drink for the toast and on arrival and then buy your own for the rest. One wedding done orange juice on arrival, that was fine no one complained.

[ShirleyPhallus]

I think that for £13 per head it’s very tight to not offer any drinks at all. Put on some welcome drinks, or wine on the table, or £100 behind the bar but buy your guests something.

Otherwise they’ll be spending more on your own day than you are

[Banhaha]

I'm doing something similar and having a cash bar but providing everyone with a welcome drink. I'd just make sure it's clear on the invites there's a cash bar and it should be fine.

[Oysterbabe]

Yes it's fine but I'd personally buy a few bottles of wine, enough for a couple of glasses each.

[CookPassBabtridge]

I've always had to pay for drinks at weddings apart from on the table.

[donajimena]

My friend put little love hearts on the table which was a token for a pint or glass wine or a spirit with a mixer.

[Hollowvictory]

With that very small number of people I'd pay fir their drinks up to a max budget.

[TheWernethWife]

We had a small register office wedding (12 of us) and then on to a gastro pub for a fabulous buffet lunch. Guests were offered bucks fizz on arrival and then paid for their own drinks.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

We had a welcome drink and wine on the table but there was no way I was paying for all drinks and I don't think anyone expected it

[Rubicsboob]

As PPs have said, totally normal for guests to buy their own drinks from the bar (but for you to provide something to toast with and maybe wine with dinner or a drink on arrival). I went to a wedding once where we had to pay about £50/head in advance for the meal, plus all the drinks once we got there. Needless to say, many people declined the invitation. Thought it was a shame as the couple had clearly spent a huge amount on the dress, suits, flowers etc, at the cost of having their loved ones there. Their wedding, their rules I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I felt a bit sad for them; it wasn't a low-key affair and they'd obviously hoped people would be willing to absorb some of their expenses.
I think if your wedding is clearly a low-key, "we just want the people we love to share in our day and aren't worried about all the trimmings" type affair, people are far happier to chip in as they don't feel they're paying for your extravagance.