Am I in the wrong...(11 Posts)
Hi guys.... so I'm just feeling really down in the dumps as me and My boyfriend have just had a major argument this morning and he stormed out of the house, we haven't spoken all day.
Let's back track....
My boyfriend is addicted to watching shit on YouTube all day long...
Today we had loads of plans to go out and see a few people.
But as he works all week, only get to spend my time with him over the weekends x
I nag at him to stop spending so much time on his phone when he's with me because I love spending as much time with him as possible due to the fact I only see him 2 days a week.
But today he said I overreacted as he woke up in the early hours of the morning to watch shit on his phone.... waking me up in the process and I got mad saying there is a time and a place,
But now he's making me feel as if my overreaction was wrong and that I need to give him the benefit of the doubt...
I can't help that I want to spend all my time with him and not his phone...
But am I being unfair to him....
If you only see him 2 days a week and he'd rather spend that time on his phone, this 'relationship' is dead in the water. I say dump him, especially as he's rude enough to wake you in the night with his phone (!) and storms out during a row instead of resolving things.
Overreaction would be taking his phone and smashing it into his face.
Your reaction was mild.
Don't waste your life on someone like him.
Bin him. He's clearly more interested in his phone than you.
He’s not in a relationship with you, he’s in a relationship with his phone!
Dump him and move on to someone who values you.
(Don’t use “nag” about yourself, that’s a word men use about women, to belittle and dismiss things they don’t want to hear.)
It's not OK that he wakes you up in the middle of the night to watch stuff on his phone.
He may however at other times be using it as "downtime", so just as someone would watch a TV or whatever, he'll use his phone. That's OK if it's occasional, but if it's all the time, you're soon going to feel ignored, and that's not good. You're not in a relationship to be ignored.
If he can accept it's not healthy, then he can explain why he feels the need to be on it so often - perhaps he is using it to destress? From his job?
You say you want to spend ALL your time with him, and he may find that suffocating. Not sure if you work, or what your interests are, but I think developing some separation from him would help you both.
It's not unreasonable to to want to watch shit on his phone.
If he is not interested in spending time with you, it's up to him.
You can either move on, or you can stay with him and make your own plans. When he realises he is left alone all weekend, he might wake up.
YANBU to say that he woke you up in early hours watching YouTube videos in the night when you were sleeping next to him! That's not an overreaction.
I sometimes can't sleep but wouldn't dream of waking a partner or child up sleeping next to me by being so selfish. I'd take myself downstairs if I was tossing and turning and genuinely couldn't sleep.
It's a shame he's not buying into the spending positive family time together given he's away all week, and that's a problem. It won't make life fun for you as you have different priorities and he sounds a phone & You Tube bore.
Sometimes when my DC have a sleepover party theres one child who won't join in and wants to sit separately watching You Tube (usually as their parents rightly limit their phone use!) Even with children I suggest they join in or go home as the top of their head isn't what we expected when we invited them.
One of my mum friends takes phones off children, to leave and charge in kitchen (so available if they need it) and she says no phone-bores allowed! I admire her chuptaz! YouTube videos are fine in moderation if shared as "look at this funny thing" in company but not excessive alone watching at expense of everyone else waiting or being woken by a selfish person!!
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