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Never invited...

(34 Posts)
CocoChanel22 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:25:04

I have no body to ask in RL so I'm hoping you guys can help me out here.

I've been with OH for 8 months, we live together and do mostly everything together. Except see his family. When it comes to seeing his family it's always 'I'm' meeting everyone for a curry tonight, 'I'M' going to my grandparents to see everyone etc etc...but when it's my family stuff it's always 'oh what time are we leaving' etc etc, he comes to everything with me and excludes me from everything he does. They all know about me, I'm on his fb page and all that jazz.

So I just want to know if I'm Being unreasonable to be annoyed by it, he knows I'm pissed off this morning but doesn't know why.

Mememeplease Sun 17-Mar-19 10:26:23

How does he explain never inviting you?

Cherrysoup Sun 17-Mar-19 10:28:03

So tell him the same, you’re meeting your family, he’s not coming, then ask how he feels.

Margot33 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:28:33

Just ask him why you're never invited?! If he shrugs and continues then stop allowing him to visit yours. Maybe he needs that hash reality that when you do the same...its not actually fair.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:29:39

Have you asked him why? Or if you could go too?

MRex Sun 17-Mar-19 10:30:01

Tell him you want to meet them, can you come. If he says no, ask why not.

Middlrm Sun 17-Mar-19 10:33:03

I think you should talk to him about it... as 8 months is a long time with the added commitment of living together to not know his family.

It may be an issue with them not you ... but it’s time at least talk about the next step
Occurs ... if it helps my brother didn’t introduce ( his now wife ) until they got engaged to my parents and I met her only a couple of times ... he is just that private... he clearly loves her as 14 years on and 2 kids later safe to say she is a keeper!

But I never until considered how she felt until now.

My husband introduced me to his family really quickly we have been together 12 years and got married last year .. first time I briefly met his friends .. and that kinda bugs
Me ... men are odd creatures x x

Middlrm Sun 17-Mar-19 10:34:04

* when we got married was the first time I met his friends

rritchie44 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:43:32

I would have thought meeting each other’s family comes way before moving in together. You are right to be concerned. He’s keeping things from you, this is not an equal relationship. There is no satisfactory excuse for this.

JenniferJareau Sun 17-Mar-19 10:49:16

Turn the tables on him with his own behaviour 'Oh, what time are we going for curry?' etc.

Luckingfovely Sun 17-Mar-19 10:51:19

Good grief. Just ASK him!!!!!

GreenTulips Sun 17-Mar-19 10:54:37

If you do everything together maybe he needs a bit of breathing space?

BlueMerchant Sun 17-Mar-19 10:55:57

I'd think he is either embarrassed by his family or embarrassed by me.

Dippypippy1980 Sun 17-Mar-19 10:59:47

I would assume he doesn’t see a future for the relationship, and therefore isn’t involving me in his family life.

I had a relationship like his in my youth, boyfriend rarely if ever included me in family events, or in his friendship group. At the time I thought it was normal. Wish I had realised what it really meant!!

NorthEndGal Sun 17-Mar-19 11:01:38

You need to ask him
If you have, what did he say?
If you haven't asked, why not?

AWishForWingsThatWork Sun 17-Mar-19 11:03:58

Have you not asked him why he is excluding you from meeting and doing things with him and his family, but he happily expects to be doing everything with you and yours?

Listen carefully to his answer. Don't let him evade answering. You deserve to know what the hell is going on.

seven201 Sun 17-Mar-19 11:05:05

It sounds like you haven't asked him about it?!?

dragonsfire Sun 17-Mar-19 11:09:42

It could be he has a difficult dynamic with his family and is wary of exposing you to it.

You really need to sit down and talk to him, not in an accusing way in a calm way ask “is there a reason I have not met your family yet?” It’s an 8 month relationship and your living together so your not going to come across crazy clingy!

Pinkbells Sun 17-Mar-19 11:19:20

You do have someone to ask in RL - your husband! You need to sit down with him and ask him why he goes by himself. I can’t be doing with stepping around each other not getting issues like this addressed, it woukd drive me mad!

Pinkbells Sun 17-Mar-19 11:19:46

Sorry OH not husband

Petalflowers Sun 17-Mar-19 11:23:30

“I'd think he is either embarrassed by his family or embarrassed by me.”

I’d think this, or that he doesn’t consider you has a long term part of his life. Do they know about you? What/why is hiding?

Gwenhwyfar Sun 17-Mar-19 11:28:56

"as 8 months is a long time"

It's not though really and it's very soon to have moved in together isn't it?
FWIW my family's like this. Girlfriends are not invited because the place is a mess. We also speak a different language at home.

bevelino Sun 17-Mar-19 11:29:18

OP, you are not being unreasonable to question why you have not been introduced to your partner’s family. Although I am surprised you haven’t asked him for reasons or worked it out for yourself.

FriarTuck Sun 17-Mar-19 11:29:59

Good grief. Just ASK him!!!!!
This ^^. Wouldn't this be your first solution?!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Sun 17-Mar-19 11:35:52

Perhaps his family are like 'Shameless' and he's embarrassed about them or something ?

Eg wannabe socialists who declare them selves working class, when in reality they are very middle class get embarrassed when confronted with Mummy and Daddy; as do the working class who have clawed their way out and developed aspirations and have to go back to the old estate they've outgrown.

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