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Sorry another wedding one

(16 Posts)
Notanotherweddingone Sun 17-Mar-19 10:16:17

Friend of 25 years is getting married to very long-term partner. They have 2 DC tween and early teen.

They having smallish wedding of 50 same size as mine about 10 years ago and their eldest then a toddler of about 3 came.

They have said no kids apart from theirs. No problem their choice. We've had to call in major favours to be able to attend, due to health issues in family no-one to have them.

Spoke to friend week ago they told me colours bridesmaids are wearing. I asked if bridesmaids were her fiance nieces. Told they were A and B kids, (who are younger than mine). AIBU to feel hurt that A and B kids are going? friend knows it's difficult to get someone to have our kids (and I think what we have in place may fall through), we have been friends for much longer than A and B. My friend has told me on numerous occasions how much B winds her up.

I will just suck it up but feeling devalued

HolesinTheSoles Sun 17-Mar-19 10:17:53

I think you're right to suck it up but I can see why you're hurt.

Hollowvictory Sun 17-Mar-19 10:20:23

They are the bridesmaids so of course they are going. Your children are older. It's not a competition for who's kids she likes best. It's weird having a big faffy wedding when they've already got kids anyway, bit embarrassing in my book.

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 17-Mar-19 10:22:13

Those kids are going because they are bridesmaids, so yabu.

Mind you, I don't get the logic of not inviting children to the wedding, but happy to have them as participants. (Unless they are the bride and groom 's children obvs.)

Notanotherweddingone Sun 17-Mar-19 10:25:20

My youngest is only 2 years older than the eldest bridesmaid so small age gap.

I agree it's seems odd they are having bridesmaids with such a small wedding.

ElspethFlashman Sun 17-Mar-19 10:26:58

You have to suck it up. But you don't have to be happy about it.

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon Sun 17-Mar-19 10:29:29

If your friendship is longer standing I would also be miffed.

AntiHop Sun 17-Mar-19 10:31:28

I can understand why you're upset. That would annoy me too.

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 17-Mar-19 10:32:08

The age gap between your younger child and the bridesmaids isn't relevant. They're bridesmaids so they attend the wedding; yours aren't so don't.

By all means be miffed that your friend asked the children of someone she doesn't seem to like to be bridesmaids.

SandyY2K Sun 17-Mar-19 10:32:47

If the A and Bs kids are part of the bridal party, they have to be there. So I'd say YABU.

emilybrontescorsett Sun 17-Mar-19 10:34:18

I understand this is annoying, however my advice would be to suck it up and enjoy the day.

Rainbowshine Sun 17-Mar-19 10:38:21

They may not want the child bridesmaids but have been put under pressure by overbearing parents or family, so they may well be having to make the best of the situation. Just because they’ve made a different choice from one you’d make doesn’t mean it’s wrong or invalid.

Drum2018 Sun 17-Mar-19 11:12:46

If they are kids are they not flowergirls as opposed to bridesmaids? It would make more sense to have younger kids as flowergirls. In any case your kids aren't invited, end of. Either go and enjoy the wedding or have a sulk for the day. Doubt the bride and groom will care either way. They'll be too busy enjoying their day.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 17-Mar-19 11:16:37

Knowing someone for a longer time doesn’t mean you are closer than A and B, though. And there will be a reason they have chosen these kids.

Are their any friends that the kids could have a sleepover with for one night or is it a whole weekend do?

MiddleClassProblem Sun 17-Mar-19 11:16:49


happymummy12345 Sun 17-Mar-19 11:32:50

Why is it odd they are having bridesmaids as it's a small wedding?
We had 30 people including us, and the bridal party and we had a ring bearer, and I had a flower girl and a bridesmaid.

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