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To think that her perspective will change now

(39 Posts)
TitusAndromedom Sat 16-Mar-19 23:03:34

I’m friends on social media with a friend’s wife. I fully admit that I find her very irritating and have often considered hiding her or whatever, but can’t bring myself to look away.

She has a tendency to post very sanctimonious statuses about what people should believe, how they should behave, etc. Last year on Mother’s Day she made a big point of posting about how it is a difficult day for some people who don’t have good relationships with their mothers, and that we should all be mindful of that and sensitive to their pain.

Now, my mum died when I was 19, so I understand why people find the day difficult, but I would never presume to tell other people that they shouldn’t celebrate their relationships with and appreciation for their own mothers just because of my personal situation.

This year, she is pregnant and has been posting about it multiple times per day, including scan photos, the baby’s name, judgments on how other people parent, memes about how to raise children and weekly updates on her baby’s gestation. AIBU to think that it is likely she will be keen to forget about her advice to the rest of us from last year so that she can take part in celebrating her impending motherhood this year and, as a result, is a massive hypocrite?

And yes, I should just unfollow her, but I really just wanted a good moan.

Dramatical Sat 16-Mar-19 23:09:26

Mother's Day from a parents POV is entirely different to Mother's Day from an adult DC's POV.

Jupiters Sat 16-Mar-19 23:13:34

I think unfollowing her would be the best idea.

TitusAndromedom Sat 16-Mar-19 23:13:57

I don’t disagree, but if her stance pre-pregnancy is that we should all be sensitive to people who have poor relationships with their mothers, shouldn’t her stance now be that we should all be sensitive to people who can’t have children or who have lost children?

PurpleDaisies Sat 16-Mar-19 23:14:48

Last year on Mother’s Day she made a big point of posting about how it is a difficult day for some people who don’t have good relationships with their mothers, and that we should all be mindful of that and sensitive to their pain.
Friends of mine with children still post stuff like that.

Why are you friends? It sounds like you don’t like her at all.

TitusAndromedom Sat 16-Mar-19 23:19:15

I don’t like her. We are friends because she is married to a friend and I think he would be hurt if I unfriended her. I should unfollow or whatever the option is, but as I said, I can’t seem to look away. I am simultaneously irritated by her, and fascinated.

OddCat Sat 16-Mar-19 23:29:43

I find people on fb that post stuff about 'my door is always open .....'
and endless sentimental or 'inspirational' nonsense are the least likely to actually practice what they preach.

PCohle Sat 16-Mar-19 23:32:52

God I follow loads of people I find irritating for the same "hate watching" reason you do.

If she does, you should totally post something sickly sweet saying how delighted for her you are that she's managed to move past her negative emotions about the Day and you thought her message last year about bearing in mind those for whom it is a difficult day was soooo thoughtful.

SparklySneakers Sat 16-Mar-19 23:35:24

I don't get why people are "friends" with people on Facebook that they don't like or barely know. I wouldn't want people I don't know well or like knowing about my life. Just delete her and if asked just say your keeping Facebook for close friends and family only. Facebook is toxic. I've deleted it off my phone and have deleted most of my friends now as preparing to completely delete my account. I just want to make sure I've got all the photos on there backed up somewhere first. I deleted it before Christmas and haven't missed it. Set yourself free!

TitusAndromedom Sat 16-Mar-19 23:41:42

I can’t even imagine how that would go over, PCohle. She would probably write another post about it.

LovingLola Sat 16-Mar-19 23:43:59

I think you need to find something useful to do with your time

flingingmelon Sat 16-Mar-19 23:51:36

Guilty pleasure 🤷🏻‍♀️

StepCatsmother Sun 17-Mar-19 07:01:39

I completely agree with OddCat

TheMidiMitch Sun 17-Mar-19 07:06:31

Oh gosh I have people on FB like this. It's the social media equivalent of rubbernecking. Mine are people who post 10 pics a day of their children and talk about how hard it is having to leave them for work. They work like two days a week for a couple of hours. Drives me insane (I work a 60-70 hour week) but I can't help but look.

chuttypicks Sun 17-Mar-19 07:08:53

Find her sanctimonious post from last year, screenshot it and post it on her FB Page on Mother's Day if she annoys you with her posts this year. Show her to be the hypocrite she is!

Figmentofimagination Sun 17-Mar-19 07:39:22

You could always unfollow her so she isn't on your newsfeed, but if your need to have a nosey about what she is doing you then go on her FB page.
I have a friend that I have done that to. I can't help but have a look at what she is doing but hide her from my newsfeed as she comments on too many things. I also had to hide her as she shares multiple updates of her amazing toddler every day. I'm really happy for her, it's brilliant that her child has come along in leaps and bounds, but I don't need to see every day what her outfit of the day is, that today her 23month old has learnt to play the flute(?!) 🙄, or 10 different photos of her future Picasso drawing. Instead I limit it to looking once or twice a week.
Plus, stupidly, I can't help but compare my own DS to her DD, and it makes me feel inadequate.

pictish Sun 17-Mar-19 07:50:57

She sounds like Facebook gold...I have a couple of similar ‘friends’ on mine whom I only keep for the eye-rolling factor. To be fair, they are people that requested me and most likely only to be nosey, which is fine because my Facebook is slim pickings on the gossip fodder front.

If I’m being honest it’s probably a little boost for me on days of low self esteem. I can sneer at them safely and feel better about myself, albeit momentarily. I know I’m risking a pasting by admitting that but I imagine plenty of other people think the same about one or two people on their list too.

I get you.

HomeMadeMadness Sun 17-Mar-19 07:52:56

I think you're giving it way too much thought. If she literally just posted to say be mindful of people having a hard time on mothers day I don't think it sounds like a massive deal. I'd just hide her to save myself from her daily fetus updates and think no more about it.

pictish Sun 17-Mar-19 08:02:46

And do remember, people are allowed to shift perspective when their life circumstances change. I bet yours has.
You don’t like her, that’s fine...but be wary of attaching too much importance to these wee things. Forget the Mothers Day stuff. Seriously.

flyings0l0 Sun 17-Mar-19 08:05:04

you are completely overinvested. just delete her and spend less time on Facebook smile

Siameasy Sun 17-Mar-19 08:06:29

I know people like that but I don’t do FB any more. It made me hate people and I would end up feeling irrationally angry yet at the same time I enjoyed these “hate reads”

ataleoftwothenthreethenfour Sun 17-Mar-19 08:16:39

If you unfollow her, she won't know, you just won't be commenting on her statuses. I often mute an annoying friend for that very reason. She's fine IRL, but her social media persona is a real bore.

pictish Sun 17-Mar-19 08:18:43

I sometimes consider leaving Facebook for the same reason. I don’t post regularly because I don’t want to add to the saturation of narcissistic drivel on there. It has become very old hat hasn’t it?
I think I’m too curious to actually do it though. And everyone I know uses it as their main means of communication now.

lljkk Sun 17-Mar-19 08:24:50

I'm another one who finds such people amusing rather than irritating. She'd stay on my FBk for sure.

Worlds0kayestmum Sun 17-Mar-19 08:27:19

Now I need to know whether she does or not grin

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