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AIBU to be petrified

(15 Posts)
Curiousmum69 Sat 16-Mar-19 06:53:46

Dd is 10 and has 'self identified' as a boy for a few years now.

My stance is a constant affirmation that she can wear what she likes, have her hair cut how she likes, participate in any games and sports she likes, have the friends that she chooses even have a nickname that is gender neutral. Which I support and use.

But that fundimentaly she is a girl. Girls can do all of these things and still be a girl.

My argument is that society has it wrong by assigning genders to activities and clothing styles. I was 100% a total Tom boy at her age....perhaps i'd have even been told I was transgender.

I wholeheartedly believe she is too young to know...heck she still wants to be a cat some days.

But... articles like this scare me so much!

Monty27 Sat 16-Mar-19 06:57:28

Don't read them biscuit

RebootYourEngine Sat 16-Mar-19 07:40:25

I feel the same as you.

I feel that because the world is so gender specific that girls think that because they love 'boys' things it means they must want to be a boy and vice Versa. When really it shouldn't matter.

Happyspud Sat 16-Mar-19 07:43:37

I think you are right about some kids but not about others. If your DD is in fact trans, she will educate you eventually on that difference. But I think letting her be and appear in whatever way she wants is the right approach at this point.

Happyspud Sat 16-Mar-19 07:45:10

(If you listen to her I mean, she will educate you eventually on the difference).

Curiousmum69 Sat 16-Mar-19 07:46:51

@Monty27 but I don't want my child taken away because I refuse to say she is a boy!

Its hard to Not read articles like this when it's a reality in your world.

SummerHouse Sat 16-Mar-19 07:47:06

Your stance is perfect.
Don't read the daily mail it's a hate fest. I don't trust them to report anything accurately.

Catscratchclub Sat 16-Mar-19 07:49:38

Honestly, I wouldn’t know how to begin to even get my head around this but your approach seems level headed, accepting and drama free. The daily mail is NONE of those things. I wish you and your family happiness for the future flowers

TidyDancer Sat 16-Mar-19 08:31:13

I think you're approaching this sensibly OP. IMO it's a case of keep your head down and move along quietly (but supportively of your DD) until the world catches up. At the moment, there is hypersensitivity around this issue, and people are so afraid to offend the trans community that there is not enough scope for questioning/therapy/etc.

There will be what I imagine is a relatively large number of children who are currently identifying as a different gender who are just finding their way in the world and are not 'genuinely trans'. The daily fail sensationalises everything - you as a parent can only do the best you can for your child and ignore the scare stories.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Sat 16-Mar-19 08:37:28

Happy because those who think that gender is regressive nonsense and don’t buy into trans ideology need ‘educating’? shockangry

OP, you are absolutely doing the right thing. Others would have your child turn your child into a medical guinea pig. It is they who will end up in the dock soon enough, I have no doubt about that.

The tide is turning, I truly think it is - slowly, but I do believe it’s happening. The vast majority of the public don’t buy into this belief system. It’s worth noting that Mermaids have been told in the past to keep away from a child because of their push to trans that child (through the courts).

In the meantime you know that you are keeping your child safe from harm, and there’s not much more a parent can do. I wish you both all the best flowers.

FudgeBrownie2019 Sat 16-Mar-19 08:39:51

OP you sound genuinely lovely. As PP's have said, stop reading anything in the DM (which at the best of times is a shitrag designed to bring everyone's worst fears to the fore) and focus on your child.

I think you're handling things perfectly and you need to just focus on your lot in life. flowers

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Sat 16-Mar-19 09:36:31

Actually, on women’s rights being under fire from TRAs the DM is pretty sound, they have published some very good articles. They know better than the Guardian, for example, seem to, that a woman is an adult human female. Which is a pure statement of fact.

nauseous5000 Sat 16-Mar-19 09:57:37

Don't forget that this rag in particular is quite famous for being divisive- this is a current issue at the mo that as a right wing paper they disagree with, so it's quite likely there's more to this case that they didn't report because it didn't fit in with the agenda. Just keep doing what you're doing with DD- it sounds perfect

PregnantSea Sat 16-Mar-19 11:03:19

I think this is a fad that will pass. I hope so, at least

Prequelle Sat 16-Mar-19 11:33:54

You're right.

What happened to us smashing gender norms and making sure kids knew that there's no clothing, you, job, hobby etc was inherently girl or boy. That they could do/play with/look however they wanted.

Now though there seems to be a small but VOCAL minority that benefits from conforming to certain gender norms being the definition of who a person is, and that preferring the 'opposite' of what society things they should like... means they're transgender?

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