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To ask how should I reply to my daughter requesting brown face makeup?

(21 Posts)
Drizzlehair Fri 15-Mar-19 23:29:11

DD is 5, recently watched Moana and loved it.

She wanted to dress up like Moana for a bday party next weekend, she chose a red dress and then asked her dad if she could put some brown face paint on so she looked more like Moana.

I wasn't there and I think he dealt with it fine, but just wondering what you'd say to a 5 yr old who asked that?

For context she goes to a fairly mixed school with plenty of children of all ethnicities. I think she thinks it's just like painting her face like a lion after enjoying the lion king. And I'm struggling to find the right words to explain why it's different

Merryoldgoat Fri 15-Mar-19 23:38:50

This is the time to be honest in a simple way - kids accept things easily at this age.

Tell her that Moana is from a country where people geberally have browner skin, that skin colour isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

TacoLover Fri 15-Mar-19 23:45:56

I think Merryoldgoat has an excellent idea of what to say.

Drizzlehair Fri 15-Mar-19 23:49:35

Very nicely put, thanks

HennyPennyHorror Sat 16-Mar-19 00:05:50

Beautifully put Merry "skin colour isn't a costume"

mrwalkensir Sat 16-Mar-19 00:10:40

Merryoldgoat - perfectly put xxx

HardofCleaning Sat 16-Mar-19 00:16:27

Tell her that Moana is from a country where people generally have browner skin, that skin colour isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

This is perfect IMO. She hasn't done anything wrong by asking and you should just reply honestly as to why she can't do it.

Sparklesocks Sat 16-Mar-19 00:18:40

Yes agree with Merry, well put

EmeraldShamrock Sat 16-Mar-19 00:19:02

Merryoldgoat - Your wise words are so kind & true.

Lalliella Sat 16-Mar-19 00:36:20

This will be one of the shortest threads ever because nobody could possibly improve on Merryoldgoat’s post. Well set goaty!

Lalliella Sat 16-Mar-19 00:36:53

*said!

wowsertrousers Sat 16-Mar-19 02:14:40

I've actually just bookmarked this thread in case this issue ever comes up for me with my DD.... What a perfect way to explain it Merryoldgoat!

Dottierichardson Sat 16-Mar-19 02:23:16

Well as many of us with brown skin come from this country - insert any country in the world btw - you might want to rephrase it slightly!!

AJPTaylor Sat 16-Mar-19 03:14:53

Keeps Merrys details on speed dial for instant help with awkward situations

FurrySlipperBoots Sat 16-Mar-19 03:50:51

Well as many of us with brown skin come from this country - insert any country in the world btw - you might want to rephrase it slightly!!

No, it's fine, Merry is saying browner than the OP's daughter, not browner than the people of Britain!

CircleofWillis Sat 16-Mar-19 13:40:22

I agree with Dottie. Why not make a tiny change in Merry's message.

Tell her that Moana has brown skin. People have all different skin colours. But this isn’t a costume - it’s part of a person. It’s ok to want to look like anyone you want to but skin colour isn’t something we copy.

Talking about different countries and skin being 'browner' suggests that there is a default colour that people 'should' have.

dudsville Sat 16-Mar-19 13:44:36

You're fabulous merryoldgoat.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Sat 16-Mar-19 13:47:11

Tell her it’s racist and you will end up in the daily mail with a sad face ‘my
Poor lickle baby just wanted to dress like
Moana’
Actually - listen to PP

That said kids learn young and fast about racism these days happily

toastonbean Sat 16-Mar-19 14:08:55

Reminds me of the young (white) boy who wanted to dress up as his hero, Malcom X.

No 'blackface' make up required

Merryoldgoat Sun 17-Mar-19 11:30:10

Goodness! I’m rarely agreed with so much!

FWIW Dottie I’m a British mixed race person.

Acknowledging people from some places are browner does not mean brown people can’t come from here. It’s finding an explanation suitable for a small child that they can understand easily.

CircleofWillis Sun 17-Mar-19 19:43:20

Acknowledging people from some places are browner does not mean brown people can’t come from here. It’s finding an explanation suitable for a small child that they can understand easily.

True, but it also makes it unnecessary to mention different countries. I would love the next generation of British people not to have anyone ask them where they are from and get a raised eyebrow when they say "Islington", which has been my lifelong experience.

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