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Relationship breakdown

(9 Posts)
mrssalvatore14 Fri 15-Mar-19 22:28:22

Posting here for traffic sorry
My partner and I have split.
We have had some issues & he has become distant he's very selfish and self centred
We were supposed to be saving for a house deposit. He hasn't saved anything
He doesn't contribute to the house or the children one of which is his
Our daughter is 8 months old he doesn't buy anything for her.
I told him I didn't want to discuss anything tonight as I have a migraine and he said he's going back to his mums. Took his stuff and left.
My future just walked out the door and I'm half sad and half relieved 😔
Now I feel sad for my children I have a great relationship with my ex my sons father ds is 3.
And now if I ever find someone I'll have 2 children by 2 dads and not be with anyone and I'm really struggling with that

Bobbycat121 Fri 15-Mar-19 22:34:15

why think about the next relationship. your baby is only 8 months. Just concentrate on your kids.

mrssalvatore14 Fri 15-Mar-19 22:49:12

Harsh! No that's not what I was getting at & certainly not now my kids are and will always be my priority. my children are going to wake up tomorrow and wonder where he's gone. How do I explain that to a 3 year old!
My point was do I try to fix the situation so I don't end up in one I'm afraid of

FauxJoMalaux Fri 15-Mar-19 23:51:50

Hello OP, sorry to hear that. I’m in a similar situation.

If you feel the relationship can be saved then you should try. However I don’t think trying to save the relationship is the thing to do if it is only because you are scared of being a single mum with two.

It sounds like you have had enough of him at the moment - use the time at whilst he is at his mums to think about what you want. If he comes back then you need to satisfy yourself that his attitude will change. It’s sounds like he has it quite easy with you - not contributing etc. Also going to his mums; running away?

I get why you are scared. my husband left at the end of Jan after an argument to do with lying and his family. I’ve been okay, me and DC have got into a routine. That said this week it’s hit home that there is no going back and I am scared but really it’s just adjusting.

Have you got friends and family you can lean on? I find I’m okay but once the DC have gone to bed I am lonely.

I get why you are thinking about if you meet someone new but as previous poster indicated try not to think about that so soon. I’m trying to take it day by day but, like you, I do wonder about the future.


SausageAndEgg Fri 15-Mar-19 23:55:55

My friend has three kids by three different dads and I don’t see why that makes the slightest bit of difference to anything in the world? Life happens. It’s not like you were impregnated by a random.

Anyway, it’s a non issue. Just focus on your kids and life will get better. Sounds like you won’t even have to adjust much as he never helped anyway Xx

Bobbycat121 Sat 16-Mar-19 00:01:24

I didnt mean it to sound as harsh as it did. I really wouldnt worry about it honestly 2 kids by 2 different dads really isnt unusual these days.

HardofCleaning Sat 16-Mar-19 00:31:35

Of course it's difficult now OP. I would not worry about the next relationship. Concentrate on your kids for a while - lots of men are happy to take on step kids but I wouldn't make that a priority now as you'll likely end up with someone less than you deserve out of anxiety.

mrssalvatore14 Sat 16-Mar-19 10:12:32

Thank you for the replies. I have an amazing support network I see my mum and Nan Nan everyday, we are very close I'm not afraid of the future I know I can do it alone I've done it before but it's still a little sad isn't it 😒
I've found it's not him I'm missing it's the very odd things I could have or would have had with him around.
Ahh well starting my application for uni this weekend. I will buy a bloody house even if it kills me!
Enjoy your weekend ladies!
Chin up, crowns on 😘

mrssalvatore14 Sat 16-Mar-19 10:13:22

Also I've only just learnt how to reply to a thread and comment on one that's not mine but I haven't mastered responding to a particular person sorry

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