Bit of a long one so thanks to anyone who reads it all!
So for background, myself and DH have been together for approx 1 year and 4 months (not married but engaged). We started dating and ended up moving in together after a few months and roughly a month later I was pregnant with DS, now 3 months.
When we met, through work, I had heard rumours of him having been dating another coworker for the past 4/5 years. Now this shocked me at the time due to a combination of; there was never any chemistry between them, they never seemed to speak about anything other than work, and also, excuse my lack of political correctness, but she was rather unattractive in comparison and didn’t have much of a personality 🙈. He explained me from the start that he had slept with her and went on a few dates with her a few years back but he never wanted anything more, however she clung on to the idea of a relationship for years, frequently texting despite lack of replies etc. He claims he went along with it instead of shutting it down for an easy life. When we started dating he hadn’t slept with her in over a year and that was a one off after a night out.
Problem is thus.. I left the job around about the time we moved in together and no one there knew we were together (both our choice) though he was still within the same company. He no longer saw the other coworker in work daily but still occasionally and over the phone for work. I accepted the situation wasn’t a relationship so told him I didn’t mind him not telling her we were together and just to not reply to her messages so he blocked her. Though in December shortly after DS was born, and about a 9 months since he “blocked her”, I discovered a texting a personal texting conversation to her, and obviously went ballistic. He explained that he only messaged her to bide time, keep the peace and make life easier regarding work(he was leaving the job with the month), both for him but even more so for a close family member of his that worked beneath her and he knew how difficult she’d make life for his family member at work(who was also leaving within the month). He agreed this it was utterly wrong for him to do and begged for my forgiveness. I accepted eventually as I understood that he had no intent to ever see her and it genuinely was for that reason, I also know 100% he hasn’t saw her out with work as the text messaged between them confirmed that.
More recently I discovered that it wasn’t just one set of text messages, but occasionally ones throughout the year, not untoward text messages but still keeping contact, once or twice a month.
So, AIBU for considering ending things for this? Part of me can’t shake the feeling of betrayal that he kept contact with an “ex”, particularly while I was pregnant. And the more rational part of me understand he made a stupid mistake that I truly believe he’d never make again, and he genuinely never had any intent to cheat on me. He is a good guy and this is the only issue we’ve ever had but it’s just created trust issues I’m struggling to shake.
Opinions please? And thank you to anyone who’s read to the end :)
AIBU?
To consider ending relationship over this??
Breastfeedingmama · 15/03/2019 21:15
All this secrecy is bullshit OP 
Also his excuses about protecting of his relative working under this woman is also bullshit there are laws against bullying in the workplace and she wouldn't have a leg to stand on should the young relative take it farther.
He's lying through his teeth, he loves the fact she fancies him and he loves being chased. What you do with that information is up to you. 
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