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Party invites 3 months ahead?!!!

(60 Posts)
Shadowboy Fri 15-Mar-19 19:24:49

I don’t know if it’s just the pre-school my daughter attends but the party invites are ridiculously far ahead.... so today she received a party invite for the 8th June! That’s three months away!! I have no idea what commitments we will have in June so there is no chance of me RSVPing for a while! This is not the first time- we also have invites for May, June the 1st etc.

Am I being unreasonable in finding these early invites being given out far too early? Plus the kids get excited about going.... only to forget about the party 3 months later!

Friedspamfritters Fri 15-Mar-19 19:28:43

That is ridiculously far in advance. Two months was our longest record (and two days the shortest notice). In big preschools I think people are trying to "save the date" so no other party clashes. It does make it impossible to RSVP and will mean lots of people have forgotten though.

TheMoistvonlipwig Fri 15-Mar-19 19:33:58

Ok, I'm watching this with interest. I've booked my DDs party for July just as school breaks up and I'm not sure why but I have been itching to get invites out! I haven't because I didn't want to be that parent and have people rolling their eyes at me! It will be interesting to find out what people think is the perfect amount of time before a party to send invites out!

JMKid Fri 15-Mar-19 19:37:16

I don't see a problem with it. Surely the commitment should be that party since invite was 1st and then no to anything else confused.

BinaryStar Fri 15-Mar-19 19:41:55

Meh. I’ve done the same in sending out invites. Why? Because I find the children are all busy with other commitments and so if you “book” them in early you’re more likely to get people there. Whereas when Shortish notice people often say “oh no we have promised aunty Mary we would visit that day” or whatever.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery Fri 15-Mar-19 19:44:04

You can't win. Some people want lots of notice as their weekends get booked up quickly. Some people don't. Surely if you don't have a commitment on the day in question then you just RSVP yes or is this a case of you want to see if a better offer comes along?

EleanorLavish Fri 15-Mar-19 19:45:03

I genuinely cannot see an issue with this. They are sending it out early so that people are free and can come to the party.
So you write it in your diary and if other stuff comes in for that date you say, Oh. We have a bday party that day.
That’s the whole point of it.
Talk about waiting for a better offer!

edwinbear Fri 15-Mar-19 19:45:22

I usually send DS’s out the last week of the Summer term because his birthday is 26th August so we usually hold his party the first weekend they are back in September. I usually feel the need to justify this to parents as it does feel early to me.

HouseplantInvasion Fri 15-Mar-19 19:45:51

I booked DS’s party for the last week of term in July and sent invites out first week back after half term, almost everyone came. I usually aim for invites out about 6 weeks before and always put an RSVP deadline so I know when I’m “allowed” to start chasing. 3 months seems ridiculous to me.

HouseplantInvasion Fri 15-Mar-19 19:47:27

Edwin in that situation that makes complete sense

GreatDuckCookery6211 Fri 15-Mar-19 19:48:07

It’s a bit unusual but nothing to get excited about really. If you’ve nothing planned as yet why not agree to it?

Shadowboy Fri 15-Mar-19 19:50:31

I work weekends some weekends so when it’s far ahead I can’t commit to more than 6 weeks ahead. In those days the grandparents look after the kids in a nearby town- so it’s not about a better offer from another party.
Plus sometimes the OH goes away competing- again, some competitions he won’t know if he’s qualified for until a month ahead. I did forget to RSVP to one for tomorrow as it was given out in Jan- I completely forget- only remembered when my daughter came home from preschool saying party is tomorrow! She won’t be going as I don’t think it’s fair to say we are attending with less than 24 hours to go!

Ellieboolou27 Fri 15-Mar-19 19:53:48

Waaaaaaay to early! Its a preschooler’s party not a wedding 😂
3-4 weeks notice is fine.

GloGirl Fri 15-Mar-19 19:55:02

Yes talk about a better offer - it's a preschool party. For a lot of people it wouldn't warrant a commitment worth planning a whole weekend around so far in advance and you would feel awful RSVPing and then with 2 months notice to go cancelling even though its still plenty of time. It's only a children's birthday party for someone you presumably don't know well.

Last year in January I got an evening invitation to a wedding (with a gift list included, natch). Wedding was 8 months away! She's a work colleague and I didn't really want to go. Not an easy one to decline!!

Mrscog Fri 15-Mar-19 19:56:04

I send out invitations 4 weeks in advance but plan the date about 3 months ahead - I might give the parents of 'best friends' the head's up when the party is but other than that a month's notice is more than enough!

PaddingtonMare Fri 15-Mar-19 20:02:54

Why not just RSVP what you have put on here. DD would love to come but I can’t commit for 8 weeks - hope that’s ok? and then put a reminder in your phone to RSVP properly.

Re tomorrow - why not text the parent? She might have had someone drop out - with preschool there’s always bugs etc and would be glad to have your DD not miss out if there’s space.

dietcokemegafan Fri 15-Mar-19 20:05:52

Pretty standard, I've had loads of acceptances for my son's party in early June, invites went out last week. If you don't have plans then you can accept!

Xmasbaby11 Fri 15-Mar-19 20:06:39

I think a month is more than enough notice. I wouldn't commit to any more than that. I'm not organising my weekends around dd's birthday parties!

NotGenerationAlpha Fri 15-Mar-19 20:14:45

I don’t see a problem at all. You can put a to do on the phone or calendar, and then RSVP when you know your schedule, for example a month ahead. Wait till you get to school and you get a lot of advance notice from school for this and that. And you have to remember when it is non uniform day with what costume. We have 4 this month hmm, 3 with costumes. And then there are other random 20p for word search, 30p for cake sale days thrown in.

You just need to organised with calendars.

lyralalala Fri 15-Mar-19 20:19:45

It’s common at DD’s class as it seems almost all* the kids have birthdays in the same few weeks so it’s a case of getting in first with a party date.

*its not all, but all of the ones who think an invite is a summons seem to be in the same few weeks and it gets tetchy

AmIRightOrAMeringue Fri 15-Mar-19 20:21:26

I have sent out invites early before, because it fell on a bank holiday weekend and we were only inviting a handful of their friends anyway, so I didn't want her to have no people there. If everyone had said no I'd have changed it

Xmasbaby11 Fri 15-Mar-19 20:22:00

I think school events are different as there's no choice. With parties, I have dc in reception and y2 and there are quite a few party invites - we don't accept them all even if we're free as it does get too busy. The furthest in advance we've had an invite is about a month. 2 to 3 weeks is the usual, and then I'd reply immediately.

Dinosauratemydaffodils Fri 15-Mar-19 20:23:53

I've already accepted one on Ds's behalf at the end of June. I know we will be here as it's still term time. I prefer to that to those rushed out with a week to go.

mindutopia Fri 15-Mar-19 20:45:57

Dear god, no, the earliest we’ve ever gotten one was end of July for a party first weekend of September but in primary school so had to be sent before they broke up for summer holidays. Normal life commitments always trump parties, so the usual here is maybe 2 weeks. I would absolutely forget by June as it’s not a priority but would gladly rsvp if we were free and it was sent a few weeks before.

ADHMeeee Fri 15-Mar-19 20:51:25

Whether it's for the kids or for myself, doesn't matter if I book stuff in advance (my 30th was booked just after my 29th, popular band booked, all sorts) and even my own brother turned round nearer the time and said there was a wedding that same weekend and 'of course, a wedding is far more important'. I'd like to say that was the last time I organised anything for myself but it wasn't. Both kids have had one party each which gathered friends, beyond nursery age. Now the both of them just do stuff with us. It's not worth the hassle of trying to actually get people to commit. Specially when ones bday is always in the last half term before summer and the other is IN summer. Poor kids. People are unfair sometimes.

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