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To no longer tell MIL about DDs medical issue

(55 Posts)
flothatchicken Fri 15-Mar-19 10:18:36

DD is 2 and has a medical issue that we are hoping surgery will resolve in a couple of months time. But we don't know what the outcome of that will be and it could lead to much more surgical and non surgical intervention.

We live in a small town, a place where everyone knows everyone's business which is something I've always disliked about the area. MIL is a bit of a gossip in all honesty and will constantly be saying "don't tell them that I told you but blah blah blah". I've told her that I don't want to know if they've asked her to keep it to herself but she doesn't see a problem with it.

I've found out from bumping into someone that she has told them all about DDs medical issue after we've told her so many times to keep it to herself, it's not nice for DD to have everyone know her private business especially if we stay in the same town when she's a teen/adult etc. She obviously hasn't listened and this isn't the first time she's done this. We've asked her several times not to.

I've told DH that's it, she's made this issue herself and she's no longer to be told about anything to do with DDs medical info. Positive or negative. She can't be trusted and I want DD's private information to be respected.

He is in agreement but admitted it is an awkward situation, which I agree with. I'm worried I might be projecting because I was mercilessly bullied as a teen because of a medical issue that my mum told everyone she bloody met about. The issue was no longer present but bullies can be horrible and I was reminded of it constantly.


ItWentDownMyHeartHole Mon 18-Mar-19 12:57:45

Ah, so she’s gone with Attack rather than Apology this time. Stick to your guns. Make husband do the same. You poor thing, it must be tiring.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 18-Mar-19 13:10:21

She's a passive-aggressive manipulative twat.
Just smile and agree with her.
And never tell her anything ever again.

Jux Mon 18-Mar-19 18:48:17

Oh dear, I suppose that's not entirely unexpected. She was going to go one way or the other - apologise and stop doing it, or make it all your fault.

Where does your dh stand?

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 18-Mar-19 22:02:22

"She now feels stressed about being around me because she doesn't know what to say anymore in fear of offending me because I'm so easily offended hmm "
Oh, fuck her then. Have nothing to do with her. Then she won't be around you to get stressed. It's the kind thing to do, clearly.

starshollow1 Mon 18-Mar-19 23:44:15

I guess the only solution is that she isn't around you. Shame, I'm sure you'll really miss her.

Yanbu OP. Your mil seems to have some issues. Maybe some space will give her a chance to consider what is more important to her.

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