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To pack my family up and go travelling for an extended period.

(35 Posts)
plumsarepurple Fri 15-Mar-19 07:58:18

And by travelling I mean nice hotels or a round the world cruise.
Dh earns a good salary & we all have an ok life. The problem is we are all very stressed out. Dh hates his job and has been looking for months now for a new one well almost a year. I was a sahm but recently got a really bad job just to take some pressure from dh ie to get school hours I’m now back to being a junior in my career which is hard tbh and I’m on the lowest wage I’ve been on since about 12 years ago!

We’ve been thinking about selling our house and buying something outright to let out and go travelling for a year. The only problem obviously is when we come back we’d have to sort schools and jobs anyway which hasn’t been easy! Dd is 5 so we believe she won’t be held back and I already do a lot with her now. We have no childcare and are all exhausted constantly by everything, we just seem to be putting one foot in front of the other everyday.

mummymeister Fri 15-Mar-19 08:05:25

We were in your shoes. More children though so the idea of just going travelling was not really on our agenda. we decided to go self employed and moved to the back end of beyond and set up our own business. best thing we ever did. We earn a lot less money doing it but neither of us have ever missed a school play or an open evening with the children and although we work much longer hours we can fit them in around the family more easily. When we were going through this, someone said something that I will always remember "you might travel, but you take your baggage with you" I'm sure you will have a great time away but when you come back the stress will still be there. better to spend the time planning a completely different life not a temporary escape.

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt Fri 15-Mar-19 08:11:27

Guy who posts on a van forum I read did this. Whole family went round all of Europe last year. They are back now but think they really enjoyed it.

I'd agree about more long-term changes tho. We've moved around a fair bit & it's good to get different perspectives.

TheSandgroper Fri 15-Mar-19 08:16:53

Lots of Australians do this. Loads of info on Google. Try here and see what info is transferrable.

ArfArfBarf Fri 15-Mar-19 08:17:45

I agree wurhwould just be delaying your problems for a year.

shinyNewPound Fri 15-Mar-19 08:22:26

I think you should do it! You have no idea who you are going to meet and what experience you'll have that might lead to a totally different place than coming back and picking up where you left off. I went travelling for a year yonks ago and that led me into a very different career/life than I would have had if I'd gone the route I was planning to head down before I left. The experiences I had totally changed me/my outlook.

plumsarepurple Fri 15-Mar-19 08:29:14

Whenever I google this I can’t seem to find people in my circumstances ie lots of people who were already home Ed going away or people trailing after their dh job move. I’m sure they exist but I can only see ‘perfect photos’ rather than any real kind of shit wish we hadn’t got ourselves into this kind of thing that I’d like to see to weigh up honestly what might happen.
Absolutely agree the baggage will come with us and this will not be the miracle cure. We are looking at moving areas in uk but by the time we’ve spent stamp duty etc we’d well and truly be grounded here. I think the only reason we aren’t just doing it is dh taking so long to find a job. I’m daydreaming that it’s brexit cashing this and will all be over soon but probably not in reality!

Meretricious Fri 15-Mar-19 08:34:19

If you’ve got a house to come back too and all like each other. Why not? I’d only do it if I had enough in savings to travel for a year and come back to enough savings for a year living expenses (plus emergency fund).

Have to say a cruise sounds awful to me. I’d plan to rent s house for a few months in a couple of different countries and travel in between them. So you get a break from moving. And do a short cruse and stays in luxury places.

It would mean you’d have more savings to come back too to take off the pressure.

W0rriedMum Fri 15-Mar-19 08:36:19

Where are you thinking of traveling to?
Being on the road (e.g. campervan) is tough for a prolonged period: washing clothes in launderettes becomes boring after the second time.
Where would you go? Most parts of Europe are quiet outside summer periods because everyone is back at work/school.
Why not arrange to take the summer off and travel through Europe in a campervan? Remember it's a holiday rather than a trial at life. Your DH could take a few weeks unpaid or bank up hours..
This might give you time to relax and see what you really want to do with life.

Singlenotsingle Fri 15-Mar-19 08:38:41

If it's something you really want to do, then now would seem like the ideal time to do it, while DD is still young enough and before any more dc come along. You need a break, a change of direction, and to come back revived and refreshed. Can I come? wink

Sakura7 Fri 15-Mar-19 08:40:46

I don't agree with the "You're just bringing your problems with you" comments. I heard this from people when I went travelling (albeit as a single person). Sometimes you need a long break and a change of scenery to help get you out of a rut. If the problem is having jobs you hate and the stress it puts you under, then getting away from that is a good thing. But obviously you need to consider what to do when you return, so you don't end up in the same position again.

mummymeister Fri 15-Mar-19 08:45:22

there is no need to stay in the same place and in the same jobs and in the same rut with the same stresses. There are excuses why you are doing this like "wouldn't want to compromise on the house size" " wouldn't want to compromise on where we shop and what we eat" etc etc and I know these excuses inside out. But what you really need is a complete change. a new career, a new area and a new way of living. We left 2 six figure salary jobs (I was on mat leave from mine) because we were just working ourselves into the ground. no amount of holidays in naice hotels made us feel any better. You wont come back revived and refreshed you will come back to exactly the same house, same area, same shit. sorry but its true. Spend the time, effort and money thinking about career and life changes. it will mean compromise it will be mean shopping at lidls not waitrose it will mean battered old car but its so liberating when you do it and now I look back and think how did we ever live with the grind.

geekone Fri 15-Mar-19 08:52:02

Do it. We went on holiday and met a family who did this. It gave them a great experience and time to reflect and when they came back their outlook was different and they got different careers. They did it in a camper van though and had a ball. They took their 8 year old out of school and home schooled him for a year. It has had no effect on his education and he is doing well.
If you can do it and life is too difficult then go for it.
You will get naysayers on here but life shouldn’t be difficult you are here once make the most of it. I will be suitably envy

IncrediblySadToo Fri 15-Mar-19 09:00:12

I think you should do something while you have the opportunity.

However, I don’t think going on a cruise/hotel holiday is the answer.

I think you need something more life changing than a long fancy holiday.

Do it now, while DD is a good age to enjoy it but not miss much at school and before (if you’re even considering it?!) you have a baby/toddler to factor in or one of you has a great job etc.

Travel properly, meet people from different backgrounds, with a different outlook on life. Consider starting in NZ and working your way back or something. Or renting a house somewhere overseas. House swapping is quite cool. Anything. Don’t just waste your time lying on sun loungers. Think about both of your careers, where you’d like to live etc really take the time to think about the future.

Go do it

Sakura7 Fri 15-Mar-19 09:06:43

Agree with IncrediblySadToo. You'll get so much more out of that type of travel than doing a cruise.

MatildaTheCat Fri 15-Mar-19 09:14:37

I was just about to add the exact same thing as incrediblySad.

Plan a real trip, not a long holiday.

spanishwife Fri 15-Mar-19 09:17:50

I think you should absolutely do it! It will completely reframe your mindset and you'll be able to come and start refreshed and make the necessary changes to ensure you don't fall into the same trap again.

Obviously do the sensible thing and have a plan B e.g. somewhere to go 'home' to, more than enough money to keep you going.. perhaps a way to create some sort of income whilst you are travelling..

FlippinNora1 Fri 15-Mar-19 09:19:33

My friends sister and her family have just done this. From what I know they are doing things like Airbnb and staying with friends of friends around the world. They have rented out their house and jacked in jobs (although I’ve a feeling they will probably get back into their lines of work fairly easily when they get back). School wise they have timed it to coincide with the last year of reception for their eldest daughter. They will return for her starting high school in September. I’ve no idea what will happen to their younger child school wise.

They post regularly on social media and it looks amazing! Such an experience!

My family did a huge trip round Europe when I was 7. It was a really wonderful time and something I clearly remember and look back on with such good memories. We did it in an estate car and a 5 man tent grin

Coronapop Fri 15-Mar-19 09:22:20

I think you would need a better plan for your return, ie income. If you don't you could find yourself in an even more stressful position when you come back. Could your DH get an unpaid career break so he has a job to return to?

Amortentia Fri 15-Mar-19 09:23:23

I don't agree with the "You're just bringing your problems with you" comments. I heard this from people when I went travelling (albeit as a single person). Sometimes you need a long break and a change of scenery to help get you out of a rut. If the problem is having jobs you hate and the stress it puts you under, then getting away from that is a good thing. But obviously you need to consider what to do when you return, so you don't end up in the same position again

Totally agree, doing this can really change your perspective and broaden your horizons in ways you can’t imagine when you are trapped in the day to day drudgery of life.

I would recommend traveling across south east Asia, it’s surprisingly easy to do, cheaper than Europe and enough of a culture shock to give you the change you’re looking for.

Have a look on the Lonely planet Thorntree website, there is loads of advice for each continent and traveling with children.

plumsarepurple Fri 15-Mar-19 11:20:04

We have savings and have the sense not to leave ourselves with nothing on return.

We could adjust our lives here we are very modest people don’t care about houses cars etc our house is 1000 sq ft hardly the dream home!!! But worth enough as close to London.

I don’t think we want to change careers. Since having dd we both don’t care about the career but realise we have to work and that’s that, before dd we were chugging along working so hard to get to the top now we both just don’t care but obviously won’t just let it all go unless we have something else we are prepared to do. There isn’t anything else we care to retrain in. I do think the change of scenery will help. But on the other hand I’m worried we’ll burn our bridges here and come back and the biggest worry is we might argue about what we’ve done to ourselves I suppose if it all goes wrong. We get in very very well now but we are all a bit down about our situation. And I’m not silly of course we can change it but this is the change we’ve sort of come up with.

Sakura7 Fri 15-Mar-19 13:22:28

Are you both working in fields that are in demand? If so, you should be ok. Especially if you keep up to date with what's going on in the industry. Is there a possibility of doing ad hoc freelance work in that field while you're away?

PregnantSea Fri 15-Mar-19 15:50:22

Do it

justmyview Fri 15-Mar-19 15:56:22

You wont come back revived and refreshed you will come back to exactly the same house, same area, same shit

I agree with this. Your plan sounds like running away from your problems, not dealing with them. I wonder if relocating to a cheaper area, less stressful job, lower salary might give you better work / life balance

user1497997754 Fri 15-Mar-19 15:59:57

We have decided to do something to shake thing up and have a change. We are going to buy a house in Crete next month. My hubby taking 25% out of his pension funds next August and retire at 55. We will rent our property out here to cover mortgage and agents fees and abit left over for repairs etc. It's just me and hubby and our 2 dogs. We will prob come back in about 20 years time. Can't wait......a couple of our friends died recently having just retired at 65 .....one of them wanted to retire to Spain and the other retire to France. life is far to short if I was you I would go for it and enjoy it x

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