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Who is BU? Babysitting and siblings

(66 Posts)
GremlinDolphin1 Thu 14-Mar-19 23:39:29

My dd1 (17) has a well established babysitting circuit that she has built up.

My dd2 (14) is now wanting to do some babysitting and has been doing the nights when her elder sister is asked twice.

Dd1 has now decided she wants a cut of when her sister sits! So now dd2 says she won’t sit as she’s not giving her sister money she hasn’t earned although from dd1s point of view, dd2 wouldn’t have the job with out her!!

I think they are both really biting their nose to spite their face but can’t decide if it’s outrageous to take a cut from a sibling or quite a reasonable/enterprising suggestion?

What do you think, hive mumsnet mind?

Toooldtocareanymore Fri 15-Mar-19 14:23:43

dd 1 cant do job sends away dissatisfied customer they ask someone else unrelated, as I assume they don't know about dd2, next time who do they use dd1 who wasn't available or someone else I'd go with the person I used last, dd1 offered job cant do but has replacement handy who they accept so next time who do they ask dd1, that's how id explain it to dd1, she's only thinking of this job which she couldn't do anyway and gets nothing but next job she could loose too, and if dd2 in time builds up her own network she might need dd1's help

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 14:25:35

(I meant M4J4 indicates quite rightly that it's a good future sign DD1 has a business head, even if DD1 has misjudged it this time!)

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 14:26:49

@toooldtocareanymore
That's a really good way to explain it to DD1

Mookatron Fri 15-Mar-19 14:31:50

I think people should definitely declare where they come in the birth order of their own family before replying grin. Younger sibling here.

I for one think DD1 is being mean and risks losing a back up babysitter.

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 14:49:30

Also, DD1 aged 17 might be going off to uni soon? In a year or so, And she may be glad DD2 keeps up her babysitting business clientele for when she returns for those long summer and Xmas holidays...

Sunonthepatio Fri 15-Mar-19 14:52:17

DD1 is a CF.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Fri 15-Mar-19 15:14:20

i think people should declare where they come in the birth order of their own family before replying grin. Younger sibling here

Older sibling here, my little sister is no longer alive, but I would never have been so mean as to do something like this. It's horrible. My parents would have given me a right telling off as well for trying it on.
Well done to your younger DD for telling her to get lost.

Mookatron Fri 15-Mar-19 15:23:54

Sorry about your little sister, onemorecup. flowers

SilverySurfer Fri 15-Mar-19 16:22:11

I'm the eldest, have never had a great relationship with my younger sister but it would never have occurred to me to take a cut in similar circumstances.

I can't help feeling the OP almost admires DD1 for her greediness.

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 19:08:34

I don't think OP is "admiring her DD1 for being greedy". She asked as she's acknowledging DD1 built up this babysitting clientele and DD1 was trying to make a business argument for taking a cut... .
DD1 needs a talking to that it is counter productive and no added value and how DD2 is helping her, but I don't think you can add 2 and 2 together to make 22 by telling OP she is condoning greediness!

OP asked in MN to get others views as she wasn't sure, and it didn't sit right with her. Jeez pp on AIBU do get carried awayl 🙄

PCohle Fri 15-Mar-19 19:15:26

I agree that DD1 is being unreasonable.

Yes she is referring DD2 for a job that DD2 wouldn't otherwise have, but DD1 is also benefiting by keeping her clients even when she is unavailable.

In your shoes I would be much firmer in telling DD1 it isn't on. Or I'd tell DD2 to undercut DD1's rates with the clients and keep them as her own - see how DD1 feels about it all then.

Waveysnail Fri 15-Mar-19 19:15:52

Tell dd2 to uncut dd1 price wise grin

Friedspamfritters Fri 15-Mar-19 19:18:24

DD1 is Sooooo unreasonable. DD2 is keeping her customers coming back by providing an alternative sitter in the family rather than them going elsewhere and possibly finding another regular sitter.

Peanutbutterforever Fri 15-Mar-19 22:01:48

Dd1 is being horrid. She's not starting up a national franchise, her sister is offering to do jobs her sister can't.

NCforthis2019 Fri 15-Mar-19 23:31:28

Yeah I agree - dd1 will make a good business women one day - however - along the way she has screwed over her little sister, so, if morally she can reconcile that, then great - carry on. I could never ever do that to my sister though - I’m not an asshole. Dd2 must feel quite sad - imagine your big sister taking a cut of your babysitting money, just because she wasn’t available to do it herself.

Crunchymum Fri 15-Mar-19 23:37:54

Tell your DD1 she isn't a pimp !!!!

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