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Who is BU? Babysitting and siblings

(66 Posts)
GremlinDolphin1 Thu 14-Mar-19 23:39:29

My dd1 (17) has a well established babysitting circuit that she has built up.

My dd2 (14) is now wanting to do some babysitting and has been doing the nights when her elder sister is asked twice.

Dd1 has now decided she wants a cut of when her sister sits! So now dd2 says she won’t sit as she’s not giving her sister money she hasn’t earned although from dd1s point of view, dd2 wouldn’t have the job with out her!!

I think they are both really biting their nose to spite their face but can’t decide if it’s outrageous to take a cut from a sibling or quite a reasonable/enterprising suggestion?

What do you think, hive mumsnet mind?

Thatoneoverthere Fri 15-Mar-19 00:50:47

Your DD1 is shooting herself in the foot, I have 2 sisters so people would call our house cause there was a higher chance of getting someone, its not like we advertised and went out drumming up business, its just word of mouth normally. Plus what happens when its the other way around? I took over some from my older sister (she partied a lot more than me so said no a lot more and younger) but over time had my own but when she came home from Uni in holidays etc I returned the favour.
She wouldn't be looking to take a cut off her mates who's numbers she could have given out just as easily. She's using DD2 to protect her jobs.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 15-Mar-19 01:20:57

Your DD1 is being a greedy, unreasonable cow and you should tell her so. FGS, she is being absolutely ridiculous. Put an end to this right now.

Stompythedinosaur Fri 15-Mar-19 07:00:28

I think dd1 is being really mean spirited.

Nairobe Fri 15-Mar-19 08:45:07

Unreasonable dd1 and potential stupid and not future proofing. Given her age she may well go into higher education, be more restricted during term time to babysit-especially during exam time. She keeps dd2 sweet and encourages her to take on more as she can't with the proviso that outside term time they split the work.

givemesteel Fri 15-Mar-19 08:58:36

I'd be concerned about where my dd1 learned to be so cold and mean to her family.

GremlinDolphin1 Fri 15-Mar-19 10:28:01

Thanks for all your thoughts!

She’s not usually mean but we had a friend for lunch last week whose daughter has set up a babysitting business and I think it had inspired dd1 although her business empire at the moment is only her sister which as you have pointed out doesn’t really work from a business point of view! Xxx

thecatsthecats Fri 15-Mar-19 10:37:52

If DD1 sets up the two of them as an agency, with her charged at 50p more an hour as experienced, all jobs come through her, all advertising, her sister as a freelancer who accepts the jobs given... sure.

Or the little madam could get real with the current situation, which as creditable is, is a teenager being a bit twatty about a casual job.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Fri 15-Mar-19 10:40:08

DD2 is muscling in on DD1's client base.

DD1 could theoretically charge DD2 a finders fee for the business shes pushing her way !

Or they could actually merge resources and assets and split 50/50 - which would be the amiable solution.

blackteasplease Fri 15-Mar-19 10:40:51

Cheeky of dd1. Although I slightly admire her nerve!

LannieDuck Fri 15-Mar-19 10:41:39

DD1 isn't thinking it through. If she wants her sister to get her own clients, she'll be in competition.

At present, DD1 retains control of all the clients. Push DD2 to do it separately, and DD1 might find that she loses some of her clients.

Ozziewozzie Fri 15-Mar-19 10:46:43

I used to cover for my older sister when we were teens and not once did she ask for a cut of the money.
Your dd1 is being selfish. For example, she could never go babysitting again and still make money out of her younger sister!

Your dd2 is excellent, as she is covering whilst her older sister can't make the jobs, therefore keeping the job position going. There's nothing worse than an unreliable babysitter that can't make it on a few occasions. If I had a babysitter like that, I'd find another one.

She either does the grafting or goes without.

Blobby10 Fri 15-Mar-19 11:41:02

Just before I read your update @GremlinDolphin1 I was thinking yes its a bit mean but good on her for showing her potential business acumen grin

Hope it gets resolved to everyone's satisfaction flowers

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 12:36:58

I'd have a chat with both of them at the table and Kay it out. Whilst DD1 is trying to be entrepreneural she's missed that she hasn't added much value.

DD1 - has she paid for advertising, bought a uniform for both, is she guaranteeing DD2 X number of jobs that come in each week or in any way added value? (Likely not!).
She's clearly just passing on jobs she cannot do or doesn't want to do. Which means people still approach her rather than find an alternative babysitter when she can't do it and risk them going to other babysitter first next time.

It seems to me DD2 is adding value to her babysitting business by ensuring people stay with DD1 knowing if she can't do it her sister DD2 may be able to.

My DD2 babysits with a friend. DD2 set it up , I advertise on FB and do the first checks/intros. Mostly the friend can't do it or they babysit together (if 2 or more children or a baby) , rarely when DD2 can't, her friend does the babysit alone. They split fees gained only when they both babysit together, otherwise they each keep what they earn. Her mum and I split lifts to/from if they both babysit which I love! They charge £5/hour minimum fee £15 and £7/hour after 11pm. Non one has asked for later than 12:30 as they are both just under 15.

It's really DD2 that takes the bookings and arranges it all via whatsapp but she wouldn't dream of asking her friend to pay her a cut when she (DD2) can't do it and friend does it instead. They both benefit as DD2 is getting regular customers / repeat business as parents know DD2 can ask friend if she can cover (if they are happy with that on occasion that DD2 isn't available) , so they always come to DD2 first. Customers even say that. DD2 is always 15 mins early as that's good for business 😁.

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 12:38:50

*lay it out, not Kay

Unless DD2 is picking up her sister, then she could ask for contribution to travel, I can only see an equal mutual benefit to both of them if she's handing down work she is double booked for.

NannyRed Fri 15-Mar-19 12:41:22

Your dd1 is being a twat, I don’t blame dd2 for not wanting to give a cut of her earnings.

M4J4 Fri 15-Mar-19 12:57:40

Your dd is being a twat, put your foot down OP.

I suspect she will have her own chain of businesses in the future though, or running franchises grin

M4J4 Fri 15-Mar-19 12:57:54

That would be dd1

PregnantSea Fri 15-Mar-19 13:00:12

Dd1 is being ridiculous. Tell her to stop being so greedy and treat her sister like a sister

steppemum Fri 15-Mar-19 13:05:17

missing the point entirely, your dd2, at 14, is too young to be babysitting.

Drum2018 Fri 15-Mar-19 13:33:43

No way should dd2 have to give dd1 any of her money. Tough shit if dd1 is booked and dd2 gets asked instead.

SilverySurfer Fri 15-Mar-19 13:45:48

DD1 sounds greedy and grabby - not the most desirable of traits. I hope DD2 shows equal 'business savvy' by undercutting her sister's price.

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 14:08:54

@M4J4 😂😂

Chloemol Fri 15-Mar-19 14:18:26

Why haven’t you stopped this! DD1 is being extremely unreasonable and greedy. Surely you can see that and should be speaking to her. If dd1 can’t babysit then the people will simply go elsewhere anyway. Would she get a cut if that baby sitters money, no so why should she get a cut of her sisters. Try asking dd1 how she would feel if this happened to her.she is being mean and you need to stop this now before she goes out into the wider world

AryaStarkWolf Fri 15-Mar-19 14:20:49

DD1 is being unreasonable by a mile. Very greedy of her

OffToBedhampton Fri 15-Mar-19 14:23:41

Like M4J4 indicates, I wouldn't criticise DD1 for.showing entrepreneuralism but I would sit her down and explain the benefits she's getting herself for free rather than have DD2 compete with her, as suggested in my long post at 12:36 today (above).

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