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Who is BU? Babysitting and siblings

(66 Posts)
GremlinDolphin1 Thu 14-Mar-19 23:39:29

My dd1 (17) has a well established babysitting circuit that she has built up.

My dd2 (14) is now wanting to do some babysitting and has been doing the nights when her elder sister is asked twice.

Dd1 has now decided she wants a cut of when her sister sits! So now dd2 says she won’t sit as she’s not giving her sister money she hasn’t earned although from dd1s point of view, dd2 wouldn’t have the job with out her!!

I think they are both really biting their nose to spite their face but can’t decide if it’s outrageous to take a cut from a sibling or quite a reasonable/enterprising suggestion?

What do you think, hive mumsnet mind?

Dermymc Thu 14-Mar-19 23:41:37

Dd1 is hugely unreasonable. She can't sit therefore the job is available to anyone else.

LadyGregorysToothbrush Thu 14-Mar-19 23:42:05

Your older DD is being a CF. And mean as well.

CalmdownJanet Thu 14-Mar-19 23:43:32

I think dd1 is a greedy money grabbing so and so and she should be told to cop on!!

With an attitude like hers if dd2 does a good job then customers will end up by passing her and just booking dd2 or someone else, it will serve her right but I imagine cause a lot more bother for you, I would tell her to get a grip and not entertain her greed

DramaAlpaca Thu 14-Mar-19 23:43:40

DD1 shouldn't be getting a cut. It's hugely cheeky of her to think she should.

MeteorGarden92 Thu 14-Mar-19 23:44:49

From a business perspective - DD1 is quite right to ask for a cut. People are only letting your DD2 sit as DD1 is unavailable and no doubt ‘recommending’ DD2 for the gig.

DD1 is taking a risk offering her own credibility to DD2. If DD2 were to do a terrible job then DD1 would potentially lose future custom.

I used to work for an tv extra agency and they would find you a job and take a 15% cut- totally normal!

However, this only applies if DD1 found the clients independently. If they were family friends/ friends of yours for example then that is different!

curlykaren Thu 14-Mar-19 23:44:58

Unless your eldest daughter has set up an agency requiring a fee for bookings I think she is probably being unreasonable. If she can't fulfil the request herself then she couldn't make any money and constantly refusing work would eventually lose her customers.

reallybadidea Thu 14-Mar-19 23:45:27

DD2 is actually doing DD1 a favour by sitting for the 'extra' booking - if DD2 wasn't available they might go elsewhere and find a new regular babysitter.

NuffSaidSam Thu 14-Mar-19 23:45:52

DD1 is massively unreasonable.

DD2 is doing her a favour by keeping the job 'in the family'.

Does she think no-one goes out unless she can babysit?! They'll just ask someone else and then she faces losing the job altogether.

Birdsgottafly Thu 14-Mar-19 23:46:29

Totally out of order and it's no way to treat close Family.

DD2 should just now cut her out. Give out her number and let word-of-mouth get her work.

SnowyDaze Thu 14-Mar-19 23:47:33

Your DD1 is being greedy. She’s not operating an employment agency with overheads or unique search criteria

Tavannach Thu 14-Mar-19 23:48:43

DD2 is doing her a favour by keeping the job 'in the family'.

Does she think no-one goes out unless she can babysit?! They'll just ask someone else and then she faces losing the job altogether.

I agree. DD2 is helping her sister out as it means she keeps customers coming back.

MeteorGarden92 Thu 14-Mar-19 23:49:10

🤔 You’re gonna get a lot of people telling you DD1 is wrong. But that’s based 100% on the fact that they are ‘siblings’ and that everyone commenting had forgotten what it was like to be a teenager with a sister!!

Frankly it should encourage DD2 to build her own client list. DD1 had to do that, no one handed her a load of baby sitting jobs!
Older siblings are always expected to do the work, but then hand stuff down to younger siblings. It’s very unfair. During my business degree I actually read stuff about older siblings being proven as better leaders...etc.

Broken11Girl Thu 14-Mar-19 23:53:54

Nope, totally cheeky of your DD1. I have 2 fairly close in age sisters, as teens babysitting jobs were passed around depending on who cba was available. No cuts were involved. DD1 may have a great future in business.

snitzelvoncrumb Fri 15-Mar-19 00:01:01

Dd1 sounds like a great business person! I would tell dd2 to hand out her own number and get her own clients. If Dd2 is smart she should charge less.

FurrySlipperBoots Fri 15-Mar-19 00:03:44

I would tell dd2 to hand out her own number and get her own clients. If Dd2 is smart she should charge less.

If I were you OP I'd advise your eldest to consider this possibility. If she has any sense she'll back track, apologise and continue letting your younger daughter help out without risking her stealing clients away with cheaper rates.

willyougobacktobed Fri 15-Mar-19 00:07:27

DD1 is being unreasonable in this situation but will be an incredible businesswoman one day 🤣

12thofnever Fri 15-Mar-19 00:13:38

Lol in the ‘real’ world that’s very business minded grin
In the family world it’s not really on though

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 15-Mar-19 00:14:37

Where on earth did your eldest get the idea that she is entitled to part of your youngest's earnings from? Just - where? Oh - maybe from here - "I ... can’t decide if it’s outrageous to take a cut from a sibling or quite a reasonable/enterprising suggestion?"

Tell your eldest she's being a greedy little madam, not 'enterprising'. And have a ponder on how you've communicated the idea that exploitation is enterprising.
<hard stare>

BackforGood Fri 15-Mar-19 00:15:56

dd1 is being massively unreasonable.

If she passes the job she can't do on to dd2, then next time the parents want a night out, they'll still contact dd1.
If she turns it down flat and they find someone else, they are as likely to use the 'someone else.

dd1 is being ridiculous. No, I wouldn't give her a cut, and nor would any of my dc give their siblings a cut if they tried to demand one.

Samind Fri 15-Mar-19 00:17:46

If they weren't related but maybe friends, I doubt DD1 would be asking for a cut.

LaBelleSauvage Fri 15-Mar-19 00:20:53

DD1 massively unreasonable. Tell her to stop being a prat.

MarthasGinYard Fri 15-Mar-19 00:27:01

Dd1 could end up being a CF I reckon

BoomBoomsCousin Fri 15-Mar-19 00:32:40

Neither of them is being unreasonable. This is how negotiations work. DD1 has spent years building up a customer base. She has the sense to realize that has value. DD2 has realized if she acquiesces to this she may end up earning less than she could. But she may be wrong. DD1 may not have considered the possibility that DD2 could approach her clients directly and undercut her. There's risk all round.

They need to negotiate and see if they can come to a mutually acceptable agreement. Don't stick your nose in other than to let them know you won't accept bad feeling spilling over into the home.

corythatwas Fri 15-Mar-19 00:35:16

*DD2 is doing her a favour by keeping the job 'in the family'.

Does she think no-one goes out unless she can babysit?! They'll just ask someone else and then she faces losing the job altogether.*

This. DD1 isn't doing this to do dd2 a favour: she is only passing on work she can't take herself, but with customers she wants to keep for the future.

And also this:

If they weren't related but maybe friends, I doubt DD1 would be asking for a cut.*

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