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To have left DS asleep in the car?

(269 Posts)
HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed Thu 14-Mar-19 22:30:03

Today I took DS (14 months) swimming. The pool is only a two min drive from school so I thought he'd make it and then could nap after but the poor little thing was absolutely exhausted and snoring by the time I arrived at school. I parked in the school car park and waited until I saw children from my DDs class leaving, then sprinted to get her leaving DS in the car. The car was out of my sight for less than 30 seconds. WIBU?

sewingbeezer Sat 16-Mar-19 21:23:04

Some of you are really OTT risk averse unless you live in a very dodgy area.
I used to leave DS asleep in his car seat whilst I nipped into Tesco Costa for a take away coffee.
I can’t imagine waking him up and taking him inside the shop to pay for petrol. He survived and is 10 now.

ThePants999 Sat 16-Mar-19 21:01:00

@Tubeworker hear hear. Totally with you.

Eatmycheese Sat 16-Mar-19 20:01:05

To everyone who laughs at me and pats me on the head: get on with it

I will, never have and never would leave a sleeping baby in my car out of sight in a public place to get another of my kids from school.

I think those of you that do would or have are negilient, lazy, just not convenient parents
I don’t care if you disagree
I don’t care if you laugh at me
I don’t even care if you’ve gone to the extent of quantifying the risk involved in doing it.

None of that means a thing to me
If you want me to keep iterating this then I can. Otherwise just stop. grin

MummaMooMoo Sat 16-Mar-19 19:35:13

I actually had a postman call the police on me for this, who in turn called social services! My DD was in my car, directly outside my home, visible from where I was inside and down a drive that I could see the full length of from our open-plan living/kitchen space.

That said, this was the only time I had ever done it & I never left either of my girls in public but only because if they woke up and I wasn't there, I'd die from guilt... They were horribly delicate wakers. Still are!

YANBU, I do think the staff member that made a comment was bold.

poppy54321 Sat 16-Mar-19 19:33:45

Completely reasonable. Not sure it's any risk at all. What about leaving in another room at home for 30 seconds, parents that wont leave their kids at all where does that end up? What about bed time, all alone in a bedroom, what if someone broke in and took them? What about letting your child ride a horse as they get older? Not safe, but they love it.

FucksBizz Sat 16-Mar-19 19:23:34

This thread is utterly ridiculous

youknowmedontyou Sat 16-Mar-19 19:15:06

@Sarahrellyboo1987 if you don't believe the op then fuck off! And your McCann jibe is as vile as you are....

Sarahrellyboo1987 Sat 16-Mar-19 19:03:03

@oakenbeach I’m sure you’re the kind of parent that makes the McCanns look good!

Sarahrellyboo1987 Sat 16-Mar-19 19:02:11

@oakenbeach I’m certain she’s bullshitting about the 30 seconds. Having your child locked in a vehicle that’s out of your sight with nobody else supervising is a safeguarding risk. I’m a designated safeguarding officer.
I’m sure the MASH will explain to her.

Oakenbeach Sat 16-Mar-19 18:56:12

Technically it is a safeguarding risk. The TA has a legal duty to report it.

How is it a safeguarding risk? Next you’ll be telling us she needs to report if she hears of a parent taking her children to McDs... providing children with food that’s too salty or fatty is not providing your child with ideal nutrition. If you aren’t providing your child with an ideal nutrious diet, that’s technically a safeguarding risk! I’m sure SS would be wanting to hear about that too hmm

Tonsilss Sat 16-Mar-19 18:53:48

It's not a safeguarding risk, as the child is at no significant risk of harm. There would be no duty to report this.

Dothehappydance Sat 16-Mar-19 18:29:12

Out of all the risks, someone taking a baby from a locked car, is probably the lowest, especially in the circumstances described.

HomeMadeMadness Sat 16-Mar-19 18:28:24


You come across as completely irrational. You're more concerned about your parenting being scrutinised than actually exposing your child to risk. You can't actually identify any significant risk you're incurring by leaving a sleeping baby in the car you're just worried about being judged.

There is nothing unethical about leaving a baby in a car. That's ridiculous - do you even understand what that word means? Of course it's to do with probability. The probability of something bad happening to the baby by being left in a car Vs taking it with you. That is literally the only consideration. If there is no significant risk there is no reason to judge a parent.

Basically you're argument is that you have it in your head that leaving a baby in a car for a few seconds is socially unacceptable (you don't know why it just is as far as you're concerned). You're incapable to actually rationally reflecting on this belief you just say it exists so even if it poses no actual risk it's still somehow inherently wrong for a reason you can't articulate. Of course people are going to call you out for being irrational because you are!

Sarahrellyboo1987 Sat 16-Mar-19 18:14:48

Technically it is a safeguarding risk. The TA has a legal duty to report it.
I personally wouldn’t do it - it takes seconds for someone to take them. However it would be different if you can actually see the car! And I highly doubt that it was 30 seconds...I’ve never seen a school where you can park that close.

Gth1234 Sat 16-Mar-19 18:04:14

I think that's fine. its not as if a 14mo would be able to start the car, or take a handbrake off, thereby putting himself in danger.

Brocks1981 Sat 16-Mar-19 17:38:01

I dont see a problem, when we pull up as im in a wheelchair and its easier for DH to walk DS up, I often get handed a bbay or asked to watch the car nwxt to us with sleeping baby.

onegiftedgal Sat 16-Mar-19 17:31:20

YANBU it's absolutely fine and best all round for everybody.
I think the world has gone a little bit crazy to be honest when it comes to things like this.

youknowmedontyou Sat 16-Mar-19 11:41:54

@NunoGoncalves like @Eatmycheese said it could be "anything", you know that awful "anything" could happen.............but actually nothing will happen.

youknowmedontyou Sat 16-Mar-19 11:40:17

@Eatmycheese up I think your ridiculous, rude and unable to safely assess a situation. I'm "fixated" as to what you think could happen to a sleeping child in a car? Oh yes .......anything!

You think differently and therefore call people middle class gin mummies, or words to that effect.

I think I've proved now that you have no reasonable argument, that you just "think" it's lazy (it's not!), you think you're a better mother (you're not) because you are unable to risk assess on this occasion or in a petrol station.

You need to understand that because you think "anything (wtf is this anything?) might happen, it won't!

Tonsilss Sat 16-Mar-19 11:37:11

That was for you, Eatmycheese.

Tonsilss Sat 16-Mar-19 11:36:07

Not weighing up the odds makes you a negligent parent.

NunoGoncalves Sat 16-Mar-19 11:14:53

Has anyone said what the big risk was that the OP was taking?

Eatmycheese Sat 16-Mar-19 10:44:41

@youdontknowme you seem a bit fixated with me and my views.
Not sure why.

I see this as poor, lazy parenting. I can be absolutely sure that I was knocked down carrying my baby it would me devastating but I wouldn’t be placed in a situation where my parenting would be called into question by authorities. If however I left my sleeping baby in a car on a street to collect another child and the vehicle was out of my sight for any period of time and something were to happen then I would be subject to scrutiny

You are entirely confusing probability with ethical choices some of us make as parents which makes is not anxious or OTT but inerently more responsible

In his case the safe choice was not to leave he child in the car. It was the lazy choice.

I am not concerned with the odds of what might happen I simply refuse to place my child in a position where I weigh up those odds.

I’m not sure why you have such an issue with my having an issue.
Just get over it.

Barrenfieldoffucks Sat 16-Mar-19 09:41:11

Tubeworker your wife is totally right, not 'neurotic' FFS

Barrenfieldoffucks Sat 16-Mar-19 09:40:32

anything could happen

In the circumstances we are talking about ..what could happen?

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