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To think not all boys with long hair look like girls

(212 Posts)
FedUpParent Thu 14-Mar-19 20:18:15

DS is only 3 and i've never cut his hair. I know so many people who've done the same thing, i don't think it's that unusual confused

Every single person (and i mean every one) i've ever encountered, calls him a girl. Or asks my DD about her "sister".

I'm fully expecting people to get it wrong when he has long hair, that's just how life goes. But every single person? And he wears stereotypical "boys things" if that makes a difference.

It's like in people's minds it's far more likely for a girl to have blue clothes with tractors on etc than for a boy to have long hair (DD has wore "boys clothes" and colours and has never been mistaken for a boy)

I'm not actually bothered and i don't correct them if they're strangers, just seems like a far more frequent occurrence than i expected grin

DoJo Thu 14-Mar-19 20:22:21

IME there's nothing you can do to counteract the 'long hair = girl" assumption. My oldest has long blonde hair and my youngest loves pink, so I only bother correcting who really need to know now!

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 14-Mar-19 20:24:16

Inevitable if your sons hair is that long.
I often wonder why so many (mainly middle classes) don’t cut young boys hair?

MaryShelley1818 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:28:02

My 15mth old has long blond curls...he’s often mistaken for a girl! Especially when I had a sparkly hair clip on him the other day because he won’t let me cut his fringe! Lol.
I think it’s cute but DH would love to cut it as he thinks he looks unkempt.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme Thu 14-Mar-19 20:29:42

The opposite applies too. My DD had her hair cut into a pixie style when she was 10. She is always getting called a boy. It doesn't bother her though.

cleanerneeded Thu 14-Mar-19 20:31:38

Why don't you want to cut his hair? I'm not being goady, just wondering. I have 2 DD's and haven't given much thought to having their hair cut, I just had it cut when it needed tidying up to look neat & tidy.

FullOfJellyBeans Thu 14-Mar-19 20:31:51

onlyfools maybe for the same reason they don't cut girl's hair? I cut DS's hair because it was easier I don't see why people should have to if they don't want to. 50 years ago people were saying I don't see why (mainly hippies) put trousers on their little girls.

BareBelliedSneetch Thu 14-Mar-19 20:32:03

Hair definitely trumps clothes in people’s perceptions of sex.

My son has long hair. He can be wearing the most “boyish” clothes (deemed so by society, not us particularly) and behaving in a way society would call “boyish” and people still think he’s a girl hmm

ISaySteadyOn Thu 14-Mar-19 20:33:23

It's funny. You'd think people would look at the face shapes but they see long hair and think girl.

BareBelliedSneetch Thu 14-Mar-19 20:33:44

Oh, and he has long hair because he wants it long. It was trimmed occasionally when he was little. But from about 3.5/4 he’s wanted it long. So we’ve let him get on with it. It’s his hair.

Parttimewasteoftime Thu 14-Mar-19 20:35:47

My youngest DS has long ish hair is six he doesn't want it cut it trimmed not in his eyes what's the issue.
He also loves Frozen and wants to be a ninja 😂
Leave his hair OP but feel your pain.

NeutralJanet Thu 14-Mar-19 20:39:29

You'd think people would look at the face shapes but they see long hair and think girl

Is there really that much difference between "boy" and "girl" face shape at 3 years old?

Snuffalo Thu 14-Mar-19 20:40:30

Pre-pubescent children have no physical markers aside from genitals to differentiate their sex. It’s only clothes, hair, and totally learned behaviours that indicate girl or boy. Society identifies long hair with female, so if it’s important for you that strangers correctly identify the sex of your child, then cut his hair. Or you could just not worry about it because gender is complete bullshit and the sex of a child should be immaterial until they start to reach sexual maturity.

Snog Thu 14-Mar-19 20:41:30

Why wouldn't you cut his hair? It can be long but still get it cut!

Snuffalo Thu 14-Mar-19 20:41:42

You cannot identify the sex of a prepubescent child by “face shape” for fucks sake.

ISaySteadyOn Thu 14-Mar-19 20:42:24

For a PP, DS has long hair because DH does and he wants to be like Daddy.

Singleandproud Thu 14-Mar-19 20:43:10

DD has really short hair, she decided to have it cut short when she was 8 because she swims alot and hated having it dried as it took ages. Shes forever being called a boy, not helped by the fact her favourite colour is blue, she hates pink and is very rarely found in a skirt. She just accepts it and gets on with it.

thewinkingprawn Thu 14-Mar-19 20:43:38

Yep same here re assumptions - he’s 3 with just below shoulder blond curly hair - we’ve never cut it. Have never cut my 2 DD’s either.

CookPassBabtridge Thu 14-Mar-19 20:55:12

My nearly 5 year old had his waist length hair cut recently but before that he was always mistaken for a girl despite "boy" clothes. I adored his hair as did he but cutting it has made everything easier.

Ivegotthree Thu 14-Mar-19 20:56:37

I hate boys with long hair. Always assume the parents are vain and try-hard.

BareBelliedSneetch Thu 14-Mar-19 20:58:37

Ivegotthree more like lazy and going with the flow here. And the very opposite of vain grin

Purpletigers Thu 14-Mar-19 21:01:27

Long hair on a boy is like a modern day badge of middle classedness! If your son has long hair and looks like a girl people will assume he’s a girl . Shock horror. You know how to change it.

MyBreadIsEggy Thu 14-Mar-19 21:02:13

My DS is 2.5 and has never had a haircut either. His hair is almost as long as my 3yo dd’s and we usually tie it up in a little top knot.
He also has very feminine features, thanks to his father’s South East Asian genes, so yeah I’ll admit, it’s easy to mistake him for a girl.
Do I let it bother me? No.
I think it’s quite weird when adults seem hell bent on knowing what genitals a child has hmm

Hersheys Thu 14-Mar-19 21:03:02

Waist length hair on a little boy...wtaf?

MyBreadIsEggy Thu 14-Mar-19 21:03:49

I will take DS for a haircut when he wants one by the way.
We sat him I a barber’s chair next to DH a while back and he was utterly terrified and doesn’t even like going in there now. But when he tells me he wants to cut it, I’ll take him.

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