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To think that one complaint over rides every compliment every time?

(8 Posts)
crosser62 Thu 14-Mar-19 19:46:46

I’ve been a nurse for almost 30 years and have never had any problems.
I’ve worked in lots of different departments and have got on well with most people.
I’ve dealt with lots of very difficult, distressing and very upsetting situations. I’ve seen awful things.
But today I have had a complaint from a patients relative about me and it has really really upset me.
I feel like worthless shit on the bottom of their shoe.
It’s not justified and it’s not accurate but I feel like handing in my notice and leaving nursing all together.
I’ve had cards, lovely things said about me by family members and patients over the years but this one thing has shaken me and my confidence to do my job and has made me question everything.
Feeling shit. Totally shit.

Soubriquet Thu 14-Mar-19 19:50:13

I understand that

It does knock the confidence severely but keep telling yourself it was unjustified and you are a good nurse and received so many more compliments than complaints.

YeahYeahYeahFineWhatever Thu 14-Mar-19 19:53:17

You say yourself that it’s unjustified and inaccurate, so why are you taking it to heart? Complaints are rubbish but you can’t let it get to you like this! I’m not a nurse so complaints in my job are pretty inconsequential, guaranteed if I get a compliment on a piece of work, the “well done” isn’t even uttered before some dumb complaint comes in and clouds it!!!! I deliver uncomfortable facts so I always get the blame. People love to complain about a person when they’re hurt themselves. Probably even more true for sick people

ThisMustBeMyDream Thu 14-Mar-19 19:55:00

Yes. In 12 years of being qualified, I had my first complaint this year, made verbally to my face. It was awful. It was not in any way justified, but I felt like utter crap thanks to someone who thought they were better than anyone else.
Luckily they happened to be related to a colleague (which I wasn't aware of), and the colleague came to find me and apologise for their relatives behaviour as they knew it was not justifiable and verged on abusive. This went some way to making me feel better about things.
I suppose you can never please everyone no matter how hard you try. It still makes me sad that someone said those things though.

feliciabirthgiver Thu 14-Mar-19 19:55:45

Mammajay Thu 14-Mar-19 19:57:16

It is your sensitivity which makes you the good nurse you know you are. If there is any tiny basis to the complaint, learn from it, but don't let it be more than it is. You know you are good and we, the patients value you hugely. Thank you for what you do.

feliciabirthgiver Thu 14-Mar-19 19:58:34

I know it hurts today, but dig deep and muster some resilience.

crosser62 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:27:55

I just think of all the shot I have endured and put up with over years and years, the finishing late, the extra shifts, the going 12 hours without breaks, the times I’ve been assaulted and called horrible things, the times I’ve gone ever and above, the times I’ve held hands with patients and relatives, the years and years and years of being resilient and strong, sucking it up and going in when my feet still hurt 24 hours after a shift means absolutely shite all in the end.
It just takes one person to scrap it all.
It’s a bloody horrible feeling.

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