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DH overly dramatic or is it me?

(16 Posts)
Snipples Thu 14-Mar-19 18:37:40

So we're watching tv in bed (it's after 10.30pm where we live), the dog starts barking like a maniac and runs downstairs. The baby is asleep in room next to ours. I spring up and attempt to shush dog as dog runs out of room. I poked DH who was lying beside me and said 'can you try and shut the dog up, she's going to wake the baby' - admittedly I said this quite frantically as dog really barking loudly and I didn't want DD to wake.

DH just lies there. I follow dog downstairs. Shush her. Come back up, check on DD who's thankfully still asleep (unheard of!) and head back to bed. DH said that I punched him in the kidneys - I did not. I challenged this and he then gives me a load of crap about me not raising a hand to him. AIBU to think he is overly dramatic and a poke when worried about baby waking isn't the same as a punch? Quite irritated to him making me out to be super violent for no reason tbh.

negomi90 Thu 14-Mar-19 18:46:21

If someone feels you hurt them, you accept it, apologise and don't do it again.

You may have thought it was a poke. He's saying it felt like a punch/hit and or that he doesn't like to be poked.
You respect that and apologise.

You don't gaslight him by arguing that it was a poke not a punch.
Whatever it was, it was too hard and shouldn't be repeated.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup Thu 14-Mar-19 18:54:40

If you were already up trying to shush the dog then why did you need DH at all?

Snipples Thu 14-Mar-19 18:55:16

Thanks for that. Tbh I don't feel I did gaslight him - I took it more that he was just being lazy and trying to avoid getting up himself. But maybe he did genuinely think I hurt him.

A punch to me is hurting someone with your fist with force, not what I did, but regardless I take your point.

nervousnelly22 Thu 14-Mar-19 18:57:57

If this was the other way round just imagine telling a woman to pup down as her dh only poked her in the kidneys, totally fine as it's not a closed fist punch hmm
Why did you need to lay hands on him at all couldn't you have just asked if he was right next to you?

PixiKitKat Thu 14-Mar-19 18:58:11

@negomi90 should that have been the same for Roxanne pallet and that lad?

Snipples Thu 14-Mar-19 18:58:33

The dog was on the bed at the time. We both could've got her at this point. He has form for not reacting to things and taking ages to respond if the dog barks and runs to the door for instance. It just annoyed me that he just lay there and did nothing and left it to me.

I know it's not a massive big deal, I'm just annoyed that he said I punched him. I would never punch him, or anyone.

Snipples Thu 14-Mar-19 19:00:33

I wasn't even near his kidneys either. I thought I'd poked his arm. I'll speak to him in the morning - he's gone to sleep now. As has the bloody dog!

TowelNumber42 Thu 14-Mar-19 19:02:49

Do you think he was just trying to turn it round on you?

Ribbonsonabox Thu 14-Mar-19 19:06:01

Is he not just grumpy because you woke him up? I think you've both overreacted here. You should have just said 'I'm sorry I didnt realise it was that hard i didnt mean to hurt you' and left it at that.
And he shouldn't have accused you of punching him just because hes pissed off you woke him up.

CheshireChat Thu 14-Mar-19 19:09:51

Maybe you caught him at a bad angle? The 'never raise your hand to me' is odd in this context though

Snipples Thu 14-Mar-19 19:11:51

I think that's pretty much what happened Ribbon - I will speak to him tomorrow. I think he was tired and half asleep and I probably didn't respond that well.

Still think it's unfair to say I punched him when he knows fine well I didn't. You can imagine the uproar if I said he punched me when he didn't for instance.

Was annoyed about the 'never raise your hand to me' thing too, like I'm always beating him or something. Genuinely not the case at all.

Not sure why I'm posting this tbh - I was just reeling from his comment and would be too embarrassed to text any friends as it sounds so awful. Appreciate the comments and perspective.

Snipples Fri 15-Mar-19 06:45:30

Update - he admitted he was being a drama queen and that I didn't punch him this morning. He was tired and grumpy. Storm in a teacup now over. 🌊☕️⛔️

OwlBeThere Fri 15-Mar-19 06:51:14

I’m glad you’ve resolved it OP. I’m a moody shit when woken up abruptly too, it has to be said. grin

Snipples Fri 15-Mar-19 07:13:24

Tbf so am I! And def not a morning person! But I'm on a knife edge at night where the baby is concerned. DH would sleep through a fucking hurricane!

Friedspamfritters Fri 15-Mar-19 07:18:02

It depends if what you did really did hurt him or if he's lying is be pissed off if I gently poked DH and he implied I'd really hurt him (as would he the other way round). Likewise if I had actually hurt him he'd be very annoyed if I dismissed that (rightfully so).

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