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To let DD wear the same clothes on repeat?

(79 Posts)
SayYesToTheToddler Thu 14-Mar-19 12:43:16

DD aged 3 has plenty of lovely clothes but she has 3 particular items which are her “favourites”. She wears them until they’re dirty, I wash them and once they’re back in her wardrobe/drawers again and she spots them she wants to wear them again. She probably wears them once a fortnight to once every 3 weeks depending on how quickly I wash and dry them. (Items are a particular dress, a particular t shirt and a particular pair of leggings).

She sees my Ex once a week. And he’s just text me after I’ve dropped her off saying he wants to see her in “different” clothes, as she’s wearing her favourite dress again.

I have no problem with her wearing her “favourites” she wears other things (with a bit of persuasion) but just wants these particular items when they’re available and I am the same in that I tend to go back to the same items of clothes in my wardrobe if they’re available.

Ex knows he is welcome to change her into whatever he wants her to wear but doesn’t provide clothes for his house for her, so I kind of think it’s up to me. One of the items was a Christmas present and was quite expensive (not bought by me) so it’s also nice she’s getting plenty of wear out of an expensive item – I also have bought bigger sizes of 2 of the 3 items so as she’s grown she’s had her “favourites” in the correct size Don’t even think she’s noticed either.

AIBU to think she’s 3 and can decide what she wants to wear as long as it’s weather and age appropriate? Or is Ex right that I need to rotate her other clothes more?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Thu 14-Mar-19 12:47:20

She’s fine to wear her favourite clothes, mine all went through that phase. Spider-Man outfit was one I remember distinctly grin

What’s your ex inferring here?

SayYesToTheToddler Thu 14-Mar-19 12:48:24

What’s your ex inferring here?

Probably that she's a poor neglected soul without enough clothes.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Thu 14-Mar-19 12:48:27

Isn't it quite usual to wear the same thing every two to three weeks? I thought you were going to say she'd only wear one outfit and you were having to wash it every night! If he wants her to wear something else he should provide it and fight that battle.

blueskiesovertheforest Thu 14-Mar-19 12:50:23

As long as the clothes are clean and weather, age and activity appropriate of course YANBU.

My 11 year old daughter has 6 identical black t shirts and 3 identical pairs of black jeans - he does also have about 10 other different t shirts, 3 other pairs of jeans and a few pairs of tracksuit bottoms as well as shorts and sports kit - he puts everything in the wash every night, but he does appear to wear identical outfits more than 50% of the time (we don't have school uniform) grin I see nothing wrong with this. I've just noticed that he and DD are dressed identically in black socks, black jeans and identical ling sleeved black t shirt today too! grin

Does your ex think his DD should dress to please him, or herself?

blueskiesovertheforest Thu 14-Mar-19 12:51:36

*my 11 year old is a son not a daughter, not that it actually matters here!

Sirzy Thu 14-Mar-19 12:52:22

Ds is 9 and basically has a “uniform” as he wears the same clothes every day. (Grey school trousers and a blue polo shirt. He will when it is very cold add a navy jumper).

SayYesToTheToddler Thu 14-Mar-19 12:53:01

Isn't it quite usual to wear the same thing every two to three weeks?

I did think so.

Does your ex think his DD should dress to please him, or herself?

Given the history, for him.

CheshireChat Thu 14-Mar-19 12:53:57

Just text him she wanted to wear her favourites, but to feel free to change her if it bothers him.

Fatted Thu 14-Mar-19 12:54:08

Tell ex that he's more than welcome to buy whatever clothes he wants for his DC when she's with him. But you will let DD decide what she wears when she's with you. In a year or so she will be in school uniform and wear the same thing every day!!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Thu 14-Mar-19 12:54:21

Kids grow fast, tell him you're getting your moneys worth out of those items. And start keeping a tally of what HE wears ob repeat.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom Thu 14-Mar-19 12:54:50

Some people me have favourites. If they are clean and weather appropriate then I'll wear them

TeenTimesTwo Thu 14-Mar-19 12:55:04

I think it's fine for her to have favourites. But from the Dad's point of view I can see that only seeing her in 1 or 2 outfits might feel weird.

To keep the peace, why not just be slow washing favourite item(s) so it is not available for the next couple of visits? Or be extra quick washing so it is dirty next time the visits come round?

bonzo77 Thu 14-Mar-19 12:56:42

My 3 year old probably wears the same set of outfits every week on a rotation. There’s no way he’d be waiting 2-3 weeks to wear certain specific items that he’s keen on!

KM99 Thu 14-Mar-19 12:58:05

OP, given your later comments this sounds like nothing but a power play from your Ex. He's trying to control. I'd agree to tell him she chooses what she wears and if he doesn't like it he can get her something different.

Ariela Thu 14-Mar-19 12:59:23

I'd message back and say: 'That particular dress is her favourite and what she picks to wear. Maybe take her shopping to pick something else she likes, she might start wearing that instead?'

SayYesToTheToddler Thu 14-Mar-19 12:59:44

In a year or so she will be in school uniform and wear the same thing every day

She's starting school in September sad

why not just be slow washing favourite item(s) so it is not available for the next couple of visits? Or be extra quick washing so it is dirty next time the visits come round?

I do try and persuade her into other items but these are her favourites. I do already have to wait a couple of days for it to dry as I have no dryer.

WhenZogateSuperworm Thu 14-Mar-19 12:59:48

My 2 year old DS wears the same thing 2/3 times a week! He has particular items of clothing that he loves and he refuses anything else so I have to wash and dry quickly!

Lllot5 Thu 14-Mar-19 12:59:54

Tell him to mind his own business

NWQM Thu 14-Mar-19 13:02:06

Is she not wearing clothes he has brought?

SayYesToTheToddler Thu 14-Mar-19 13:02:54

Is she not wearing clothes he has brought?

He doesn't buy clothes for her, at all. Not even as Christmas or Birthday presents.

FullOfJellyBeans Thu 14-Mar-19 13:03:06

Your ex is being ridiculous. Unless the clothes are dirty or inappropriate for the weather/activity she's fine to wear her favourite things most of the time.

PercyGherkin Thu 14-Mar-19 13:04:06

Let her wear her favourites and enjoy them - she'll grow out of them soon enough.

PercyGherkin Thu 14-Mar-19 13:05:35

PS - my 11 yr old DS has worn the same fleece for about two years nearly continuously - it goes into the wash, it comes out (and being fleece, dries very quickly), he spots it again, and so the cycle continues. It doesn't actually matter as long as it's clean and fits him. Pick your battles!

Limensoda Thu 14-Mar-19 13:06:15

When my son was 8 or 9 he had a pair of track suit pants that he loved. He wore them almost every single day he played out and after school. He still wore them when they were worn at the knees and faded.
Your ex is the one complaining so he should provide clothes for her at his house and get her to wear whatever it is. He can't dictate what you do regarding this.
You follow what you think is right.

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